How Can I Survive
by Judy Greenleaf
Summary: AU Sequel to Consequences.*Formally called Life After Death* After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it. COMPLETED!!!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the story and I'm not making $ off it.

Summary: AU Sequel to Consequences. After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

Note to readers: This is a sequel, so you might want to read Consequences first.

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Life After Death- Sequel to Consequences

Chapter 1

"Father, I can't get through to him. It's been almost a month since the funeral and he hasn't spoken a word to anybody since" Elrohir said. "I am worried about him also, but we have tried everything, I am not sure what to do."

After Legolas' death Aragorn seemed to die as well. He was still there physically, but emotionally he was gone. He always thought it was his fault no matter what anybody said. Nobody knew what to say, for they didn't want to upset him. He was like a time bomb, he could go off at any time. 

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"Face it Estel it is your fault, you're the reason he is dead." This voice had haunted him since he learned of Legolas' untimely passing. "No, stop it leave me alone" he shouted at the voice that had been in his head for a month. "I'll never leave" it said. Aragorn was standing in the corner of his room. He started banging his fists against the wall. "Go away, it wasn't my fault". "Oh but it was, he died protecting you."

Aragorn slid down with his back to the wall. He drew his legs to his chest and began to cry. The voice wouldn't leave him alone, no matter how many times he apologized, it kept reminding him Legolas breathe his last breath to save him. 

Elladan, was walking down the hallway when he heard his brother start to cry. He ran to the door only to find that it was locked. 

"Estel what's wrong, let me in, I want to help you" he said in a soft tone. No answer. The elf wasn't expecting one but he had hoped. "I won't hurt you, I am just worried about you" he said. He did get a response but not one he had wanted. A piece of paper got pushed underneath the door. Elladan opened the folded paper and it read 'leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you'. The elf knew better than to push him. He knew that this was very hard for his brother, so he left.

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Elladan made his way to his father's study. In there he found his twin and Elrond. He was going to try to find out the conversation by talking to Elrohir in his head, but he remembered he couldn't anymore. It was a hard decision to make, but he knew they had to do it. He knew they had to do it for their father. It would be hard enough for Elrond to lose one son, but two. And at the same time. 

Instead he walked in. "I tried to talk to Estel" he began. "He wouldn't talk to me, but I did get a response out of him." He showed the paper to the two other elves. "Well lets not push him to do anything" Elrond said. The two younger ones agreed.

"But I do have some good news" Elrond started. "I was hoping Estel could be here but I'll tell you two now. Arwen is coming home." This did brighten up the twins day. "That's wonderful, when will she arrive?" Elrohir asked. "In about a week, Celeborn and Galadriel will accompany her."

All three were happy about this. They hadn't seen their Arwen in many years. She had been staying in Lorien, with her mother's parents. Now she was coming home.

But nobody knew what kind of effect her returning would have.

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What do you think? Tell me if I should continue. r and r pleaze!!


	2. chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the story. It's a very sad thing :

Summary: *sequel to Consequences* After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

Author's Note: I originally called this story Life After Death, but I changed it. Can you guyz please tell me which title you like better? Thanks!

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 2

The next couple of days passed without change. Aragorn still wouldn't talk to anybody. However Elrond and the twins were very busy. They were setting up Arwen's quarters and sending out riders to Mirkwood to invite Thranduil to the feast they were having in Arwen's honour. They hoped he would come, they hadn't seen him since the funeral.

Elladan was getting angrier and angrier with his younger brother's attitude. Aragorn needed to get on with his life. For his sake and for the sake of his family. Seeing him like this hurt them a lot. But this had gone too far. And he had, had enough.

The elf knocked on the door and there was no answer. But Elladan wasn't giving up this easily this time. He was expecting this so he came prepared. He took out the little knife he brought with him. Elladan then slid the tiny blade through the lock and voila, it opened.

Aragorn was laying on his bed holding a pillow to his chest. He was wearing an old black tunic and leggings. 

He was not expecting the elf to do that so he had a shocked look painted on his face. "Get out now" he yelled. Elladan just smiled and walked over to his brother. "I mean it leave now" the man said again. His brother would not listen.

"Listen Estel" he started as he sat down at the bottom of the bed "we all miss him, but moping isn't going to bring him back." Aragorn threw the pillow off of him onto the floor and stood up. His move caused the elf to stand as well.

"Estel you must understand, Legolas wouldn't want you to act like this." "You don't know what I fell like right now, and you don't care" the Dunedin spat. "You don't think I care, huh. Well let me tell you something Aragorn, the only one who doesn't care right now is you. Do you know what you are doing to father, Elrohir and I? Your killing us. Your being selfish Estel, Legolas' death affected us all."

Elladan finished and when he did he saw his brother's eyes get teary. "I am not being selfish. He was my best friend, my only friend. Nobody else would accept me. You don't know what its like to lose someone that close" he shouted instantly regretting his harsh words. He knew his brothers had lost their mother.

"You think I don't know what its like. I know what its like. You seem to have conveniently forgotten that my mother died. I know what its like and don't you forget that. Legolas was also my friend and I know for a fact that acting like this makes him sad. He wouldn't want this. So yes you are being selfish, so why don't you get up clean yourself up and get on with your life like he would have wanted." With that Elladan left the room and left Aragorn to think.

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"We are almost there" Celeborn said to his granddaughter. They had been riding for over a week now and he knew Arwen was getting tired of travelling. "I know milord" she replied. She was really excited to be able to see her father and brothers again. 

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Elladan's words left a mark on the young man. Deep inside he knew his brother was right. But it was hard for it to sink into his mind. He decided it was time to take Elladan's advice. It had been three days since the elf talked to him and he knew it was time to leave his bedroom. He hadn't left that room since the funeral and that was over a month ago. So he changed and went downstairs.

Down there in the sitting room Aragorn saw his father and his brothers talking to three others. He knew not who they were. He was about to go back upstairs but he didn't go unnoticed.

"Estel" Elrohir said happily when he saw his younger brother. "I'm glad to see your up, come down here" he continued. Aragorn was reluctant but he obeyed.

"Estel you have met Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. This is Lady Arwen, my daughter. This is Estel, the young man who I adopted as my own" Elrond introduced. "it's a pleasure" he managed to say. "Yes it is. I've heard a lot about you" Arwen replied.

"The guests for the feast should arrive very soon" Elrond stated. He had held it back long enough anymore, he didn't care if it wasn't proper. The lord of Imladris scooped his daughter up in a loving embrace. His sons followed after him doing the same thing. Aragorn was waiting in the corner. He still couldn't be happy. He could leave his room but he couldn't be happy.


	3. chapter 3

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything in the story. I wish I did, but I don't.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 3

It had been two days since Arwen's arrival and all the guests for the feast were due to turn up. Elrond dearly hoped that Thranduil was going to come, as did Elladan and Elrohir.

Aragorn did leave his room, but he was still not acting how a young man should. He would always be by himself and he wouldn't eat. Elladan was glad that his brother had listened to him, but he still wished he could do something to lighten the man's heart. He knew Aragorn wasn't at fault for what happened. He also knew Aragorn blamed himself, and it seemed like the man was the only one who didn't know that, that wasn't the truth.

It was late afternoon and Aragorn was walking by himself -as usual- through the gardens of Imladris. He was looking at a trail that led into the forest around the property. Gazing that way caused him to whimper. That was the trail that he and Legolas used to race on. Aragorn had only ever beaten his friend once, and the elf never let up about that. Thinking about this only caused more tears to fall from his face. 

He seated himself against the stump of an oak tree. "I'm sorry Legolas" he whispered into the wind, the wind that was blowing his shoulder length wavy dark hair. 

"You must have been very close, I am truly sad about what happened" the female voice spoke. Aragorn slightly jumped at the sound of another, for he didn't hear her come up. He turned around and relaxed. "Thank you milady, I appreciate your condolences" he said solemnly. He quickly wiped away the tears and stood up to meet the lady's gaze. "Please call me Arwen, and its okay to cry, I know I would if I lost my best friend."

The breeze was causing Arwen's long black hair to fly up away from her back and blow around in the current of air.

She sat down and motioned for Aragorn to follow. He did and he reoccupied his original spot. "I only ever met Legolas once" Arwen spoke "he came as I was departing for Lorien. But of the time I spent with him I could tell he was a really special person" she finished. "He was, he was really special." Arwen could see that Aragorn was very sad. "And from what I could tell, he was really popular with the ladies" she said hoping to make him laugh. She was successful. Aragorn let a small giggle escape his lips. "He was that too."

"Well I better be going, I have to get changed for the feast" Arwen informed the man. They both sat up. "Will you be coming" she asked. Aragorn hesitated, for he was thinking about not attending. "Yes. Yes I'll be coming." he answered. "Good, then I'll see you later." Arwen then made way for the palace.

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"Thranduil, I'm glad you could make it" Elrond greeted, with the twins right behind him. All three then bowed. "Lord Elrond, this is your home not mine, I should be the one bowing" and then Mirkwood's king did just that. "There is no need for that, I'm just glad you decided to come." Elrond said. "Elrond" Thranduil began "I hold none of you responsible for what happened. T'was not your fault nor the fault of your sons" he said motioning toward Elladan and Elrohir.

Elrond then led the group into the palace. "Glorfindel" he called. The fair haired elf appeared almost instantly. He was always on his toes now. "Could you please show Thranduil and his party to the guest rooms that were prepared for them. For I have to greet the guests" "Of course milord" Glorfindel replied motioning for Thranduil and his riders to follow him. 

Elrond and the twins then went back outside to greet the others that were arriving. There were many coming from different places. Even people of small importance from Rivendell were invited. More elves from Lorien were due and the other party from Mirkwood as well.

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Arwen was in her quarters getting ready, for the feast was going to begin very soon. Her maid was helping her pick what outfit to wear and also helping her style her hair.

When she was finished she looked radiant. She was wearing a long, silk, dark violet gown that had no sleeves. It did up around the neck and it flared out at the bottom. Some of her hair was done up into a bun and the rest hung loosely down her back. 

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Aragorn had told Elrond and the twins that he had decided to attend to feast. All three were overjoyed. He seemed to have been making progress. Now Estel was in his room also changing for the event. The lord of Imladris had told him he had to look nice for the feast. He had decided on navy blue leggings and a matching tunic.

He then walked out of his room and made for the ball. He seriously hoped he would not regret his decision to come. He also hoped that no one would really notice he was there. He liked to blend in. It was a big change because usually when he was with Legolas they would always stand out. Its not often you see a Mirkwood elf with a human. Especially the prince of Mirkwood and the heir of Isildur. Everything changed when he died.

He made it down to where the people would be. It looked like he was the last person. He saw Thranduil and he immediately tried to hide himself. But Thranduil saw him.

"Estel" Mirkwood's king called. "Yes milord?" the man visibly tensed at the sight of his friend's father. "I already told Elrond, but I want you to know as well. I don't blame you for what happened to my son. I am glad he had a friend as close as you. And I get the feeling you would have done the same thing for him…" "Oh I would have" Aragorn cut off Thranduil. "And I appreciate that. Please do not fear that I hold you responsible." the king finished. "I don't and I thank you." the Dunadain replied. Thranduil patted him on the back and then walked over to his previous conversation.

Aragorn relaxed after he talked to Thranduil. He was glad to find out that the elf didn't blame him. But that didn't change the fact that he still blamed himself. 

Something else then caught his attention. He saw Arwen waving to him to go over to her. She was standing with Elladan and Elrohir. He obeyed and walked over to the others.

"Good evening" he said as he approached them. "No need to be so formal Estel" Elrohir joked. The three siblings laughed but Aragorn stayed stern only smiling a little bit. Elladan laid a hand on Aragorn's shoulder. He knew how hard the man was taking to loss of Legolas. For he remembered what he had to just to get him out of his room.

"If you'll excuse me, I see Ireth and I would like to talk to her" Arwen said disappearing off into the crowd. "Ireth is Arwen's best friend. They only met about a year before Arwen left but they were inseparable when she was living here." Elrohir explained. "I think she reminds Pityon of his daughter because he is very protective of her" Elladan joked.

Arwen finally got over to her friend and hugged. This was the first time they had seen each other in many years. Ireth wasn't there to welcome her home so they were both glad to see each other. "I'm so glad to see you" Arwen said as they separated. "Me too. How long are you going to be here?" Ireth asked and Arwen replied "I'm not going to be going anywhere for a long time" 

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Like it? R and R puhlease. I don't know if I should continue so let me know!!


	4. chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the story, which sucks but I'll live.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

Author's Notes: It has nothing whatsoever to do with the story, but I was wondering if somebody could tell me the year that the war of Helm's Deep took place. I would really appreciate it. Thanx to all the people who reviewed my story.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 4

Aragorn left the conversation he was having with Elladan and Elrohir, because he wasn't really doing much talking anyway. Also he felt like he was making the twins bored. He decided to take a walk around the gardens of Imladris. That was the only place he could find any peace. 

He stopped walking when he saw an old dagger laying in beside a bush. The sight brought tears along with a small smile.

~*flashback*~

"I can't believe you can't hit the target, it is so easy" the dunedain jested at the fair being. "Even I hit it, and like you like to say, that doesn't say much." he continued laughing. "Shut up Estel, I'm trying to concentrate." Legolas said as he aimed a small dagger at the target the two friends had decided upon. 

He threw the blade and it missed…for the third time. "Again" Aragorn joked. "What did you do to it? Did you tamper with it" the elf demanded. The man put on an innocent looking expression. "I'm hurt. To think that my best friend would say such a thing."

"Estel, what did you do to it?" the prince asked again very acutely. But there was a sparkle in his eyes that showed he wasn't angry, maybe just a little frustrated with the fact that he kept missing.

"Okay Legolas, I didn't do anything to it, I'm serious" he said and it was obvious to the elf that he was being truthful.

Legolas threw his arms up into the air in defeat. "Then the dagger must be cursed" he said in a joking manner. He began to walk to the palace with Aragorn on his heels.

"But I'm not taking any more chances of being embarrassed" the prince teased. He tossed the blade in beside a bush. Aragorn snickered at his friend's actions. The two were in good spirits as they made the way back home.

~*end flashback*~

That was the previous visit to Legolas' last.

Aragorn picked up the dagger and aimed at the 'target'. He was true to his aim for it hit the centre of the tree. Right where Legolas was trying to get. It seemed like everything reminded him of his late friend.

"That was a good shot, you have really good aim" the voice commented. Aragorn turned around but he already knew who it was that spoke to him. "Hello Arwen, and thank you" he replied. The man was wondering how it was that she could always sneak up on him. Legolas could do that to. He shook the thoughts out of his head. He couldn't bear to think of him right now. The Evenstar saw the pain in his eyes.

"Listen I know that you're depressed and rightfully so, but you can't let your depression take over your life." Arwen said and the wisdom was evident in her voice. She looked young. Maybe twenty like Aragorn. But she was much older than that, for elves are immortal.

"I know I know, Legolas wouldn't want me to act like this and I'm being selfish. I've heard this speech before and by many different people. Gosh even Pityon talked to me from out side my door. But I'm sorry I can't help it." the Dunedain finished. By this time the tears were pouring.

"It's okay, nobody is mad at you" she said as she moved closer to Aragorn, who was leaning against a birch tree. He had his head buried in his hands. Her gown dragged the grassy land as she moved.

"Except for me" he said correcting her. His voice was mumbled for his head was still resting in his palms, but Arwen still heard him. 

"But why, its not your fault" she asked concerned. "Why do you even care, you don't even know me?" he demanded as he turned his back to her and started to walk on the path that led into the forest. The evenstar ran to catch up with him and began to walk beside him.

She put out her hand and grabbed his forearm halting his movement. "Because I can see your heart and its good" she said answering his question. "How can it be good if I am the reason he is dead?" he asked as he fell to his knees on the sod and grass underneath him.

Arwen also went on her knees, a little more gracefully, to meet his eyes.

"It is not your fault Estel, you can not go on thinking that. I don't care how many times you've heard this but its not your fault. He went out of his own free will. Even if you did know, nothing you could've said would have stopped him. You have to accept it." she said, also hurting emotionally. 

"I don't think I can. How can I survive without my best friend. He was my only friend. He befriended me when no one else would save for Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir."

"Then honour his memory, live as he would've wanted. That's why he gave up his life so you could. Don't let his sacrifice be in vain. I know you loved him as a brother, so make him happy." she finished. 

"I want him to, I really want him to be happy" Aragorn said still weeping. "I know you do, so you have to try and get on with your life" she said whilst standing up off the ground. Aragorn followed her and stood as well. They both had grass stains on their clothing, but both could care less.

The Dunedain couldn't stop crying, the tears just kept coming. He looked a mess and the evenstar didn't know what else to say to him. So instead she wrapped her arms around him in a caring embrace. He hugged her back while she softly sang an elvish song to calm his hurting heart. Arwen didn't know if it was working but it wouldn't harm him. They stood like this for many minutes letting their emotions go.

What do you think? Let me know please…just press the little button at the corner of the screen!! 


	5. chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the story except for my original characters. I think there's two of them. I am not making any $ off it.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend Aragorn falls in to depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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Thanks to all my reviewers and don't worry I'm getting to the A/A romance!!

How Can I Survive

Chapter 5

Aragorn was the first one to pull out of the hug. He could see the tear stains on Arwen's shoulder, that came from him. She still had her hands resting on his forearms. They stood like this just gazing into each other's eyes neither straying their stare.

The young dunadain then leaned in to place a kiss on the Evenstar's lips. He held her in his arms as they embraced. The man nor the elf knew why but this just felt right. Neither one wanted to let go of the other that they were holding.

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"Glorfindel" Elrond called. The fair elf barely heard his friend over the conversations that were being had by the other guests that had arrived for the feast. "Yes mellon nin?" he asked curiously. The lord of Imladris started "could you please find Arwen for me. This dinner is in her honour and she is nowhere to be found." Glorfindel could tell that Elrond wasn't angry, just worried. He had a right to be after what occurred just over a month ago. "Of course I will go right now" he stated. "Hannon le." (thank- you) 

Glorfindel looked down all the hallways in the palace but to no avail, he could not find the Evenstar. He looked in her quarters and was not there either. So the elf lord decided to go look outside. "It won't hurt" he thought to himself.

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Aragorn and Arwen finally released one another. They didn't know what to say to each other. But they wouldn't be in silence for much longer.

"There you are. Milady, I have been searching for you, your father wants you back in the dining hall." Glorfindel finished, glad that he finally found her. "Ah Estel you should probably go back in there as well" the elf said now noting that Aragorn was here too. "Of course" the two said in unison. They both made for the palace, the man a little bit behind Arwen.

Glorfindel followed them back, wondering why it was that they seemed embarrassed.

Back in the dining hall at the feast, Elrond was happy to see his daughter return. He was just a bit surprised to see Aragorn with her. 

"Arwen, Aragorn where were you two?" he asked. "Um…well we decided to take a walk around the gardens." Estel said. "I see but have a seat dinner is about to be served." The two listened to the Peredhil and sat down parallel each other.

After dinner, everyone retired to their rooms. Aragorn was very exhausted, for he had had a long day. 

He opened the doors to his balcony and stood there for a moment just thinking about the days events. Some things he hoped he would soon forget. Some he hoped he would remember. He was drawn out of his thoughts by a knock on his bedroom door.

He unlocked the door revealing Arwen on the other side. "Can I come in" she asked timidly, while fidgeting with her hands. "Oh…of course, yes please do" Aragorn said stunned that she was even here in the first place.

She entered as the young man closed the ajar door. Arwen began to pace the wooden floor, he long purple robe dragging the ground behind her.

Aragorn was a little confused by this. "I don't mean to sound rude or anything like that, but can I ask why you are here?" he asked hoping that he didn't. Arwen stopped pacing but she was looking down at her feet, as if she had never seen them before.

She looked up at him after about a minute. It seemed to Aragorn like she could see into the back of his mind and read his deepest thoughts. 

"Okay Estel" the Evenstar began "about what happened in the garden." she paused for a second and took a deep breathe before continuing.

"I'm not sure if you did, but I felt something. Something strong. And I don't know about you, but that doesn't happen to me a lot. I mean its rare if it does. So if you did actually feel anything for me, I don't want to let it go that quickly." she finished and she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Aragorn didn't reply to her immediately so Arwen took this as meaning that she was the only one who had experienced this 'feeling'. She was about to leave, with the tears already falling from her pale face. But she was stopped when Aragorn grabbed her hand. He could tell she was embarrassed.

He had felt the same way, but he didn't know how too tell her, considering he was raised in her home with her family. He was tongue tied about where to start. So instead he just took her and pulled her body close to his and he kissed her.

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Like it? Please remember that this is the first romance story I have ever written

so be kind!! R and R pretty please with sugar on top!! :


	6. chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the story, to my dismay. I'm not making any $ on it.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

Author's note: I told my readers this before, but to remind you this is my first romance fic, so if it doesn't flow smoothly let me know, but please be nice! :

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 6

After that night, when Aragorn's and Arwen's feelings were made known, they spent all their free time together. Of course they did this without anyone else knowing. They didn't want anyone to make a fuss over them, good or bad. And besides they weren't ready for everyone to know how they felt about each other. Right now it was only for them to know.

Arwen and her friend Ireth had made plans to take a walk around Imladris to catch up on all the times they had missed. 

"I can't believe how long its been since I last saw you" Ireth exclaimed, as she hugged Arwen again. "I was only gone for about 200 years that's not that much. And besides I saw you at the feast and that was four moons ago" Arwen said, her mind seeming to be somewhere else.

"My friend, what is it that bothers you?" Ireth asked worriedly. The Evenstar didn't know if she should tell her. She was her closest fiend, but her and Aragorn had decided to keep their relationship just between the two of them for the time being.

"Arwen?" "If I tell you, you can not breathe a word to anybody" she told her friend in a very stern tone. "I promise."

"I have begun a relationship, and I am not sure how my family will take it when we decide to tell them" she said while rubbing her forehead. Arwen's statement seemed to intrigue the other she elf. "With whom?" Ireth asked curiously. There was a pause before she received a answer. "Estel."

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"You can not be telling me the truth" Elladan said to the other elf who had cornered him in his father's library. "I do not speak lies" Ireth said defending herself. "I am worried about Arwen. I think this relationship is too stressful on her" she continued.

"How do I know you are not lying to me, my sister would not get involved with Estel, and vice versa" the Rivendell prince replied still not convinced. "Your sister told me herself, in confidence. But I thought it would be best if you know" she said leaning against the window sill, which caused her golden hair to fall from her shoulders. 

Her voice sounded genuine to Elladan, and this was Arwen's best friend, why would she lie to him. It wouldn't make sense.

"Well, then why did you go not to my father, but come to me?" he asked confused about this prospect. "Because you would find out anyway, and it is not my place to talk to the lord of Imladris, but you are his son, he will listen to you." This was logical to the dark haired elf. "Then I thank you for your consideration, and I am sorry that I was troublesome at the start of our conversation" he said bowing his head, and he left.

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"You are a plummeting soul Estel, do not bring the Evenstar down with you." Aragorn thought the voice had left. He thought it had stopped bothering him, but it was not so.

"Do not cause another immortal to be lost to death" it continued. These words in his head had been haunting him, but he thought it was over. Now it was just torturing him about his love for Arwen. He was finally happy, why wasn't he aloud to be happy? That was all he wanted.

Was he being punished for what he did to Legolas, or was he not good enough for her? He wasn't sure whose voice this belonged to, but it was deathly familiar.

Aragorn fell onto his bed, the balcony door open causing a cool breeze to enter. He hoped to be able to find peace in his head away from all the torment. Sometimes he thought himself to be crazy, hearing sounds in his mind, that wasn't right. But he had pushed those thoughts aside. 

The Dunedin was looking foreword to tonight for he and Arwen, had planned to have a picnic in the gardens of Imladris. They knew no one would be out there at that time. For they would meet after everybody had completed their rounds.

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"He wouldn't do that, he just wouldn't. You know him as do I" Elrohir said to his twin, not believing Ireth's words. "That's what I thought at first, but I have seen them an odd number of times together over the past few days" Elladan said shaking his head. "I do not want to…." he was cut off by Elrohir. "I will believe it when I see it."

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After everyone had entered their quarters, Aragorn and Arwen met. They had decided to meet on the opposite side the guards were stationed at.

When they saw each other they embraced. They sat down on the green grass. They had brought no food just a bottle of wine and two glasses. 

The two than laid on a blue blanket and looked up at the stars, talking and laughing about the stupidest of things. 

Out of nowhere Aragorn abruptly sat up. Worriedly Arwen copied him. "What is wrong?" "I can't do this Undomiel, I am not good enough for you. I can not cot your life short as I did to Legolas" Touched, Arwen rubbed the man's shoulder. 

"I love you and that means you are good enough for me. It is my choice to make and only mine. I choose to love you." There was a brief break before she continued. With tears running down her pale cheeks she said "I bind myself to you, forsaking thee immortal life of my people."

After her words they leaned in and shared a kiss filled with love and respect.

"That's it I can't take it anymore" and before Elrohir could stop him, Elladan jumped down from the tree and ran over to his sister and Estel. He pulled Aragorn away from Arwen and got him on his feet.

"Elladan…" the man started not knowing what to say. But he couldn't finish. The elf had his fist met with Aragorn's face knocking the Dunedin to the ground.


	7. chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own…blah, blah, I own squat.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression, and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

How Can I Survive

Chapter 7

"Elladan, stop it" Arwen cried, when she saw her brother punch the man she loved. Elrohir tried to pull his twin off of Estel, but to no avail, all he got was a shove from Elladan. Elrohir stumbled a bit which isn't normal for an elf. He probably would have fallen if Arwen hadn't grabbed onto his arm. 

After Aragorn had fallen on the grass Elladan went down on his knees and continued hitting the man. The Dunedin had grass and dirt stains on his black leggings as did Elladan on his navy blue ones.

"How could you" Elladan asked the man. "How could you?." The elf got no answer which made him angrier. Estel couldn't answer because his spilt blood was all in his mouth and stopping him from doing so. 

Elrohir was eventually able to pull his twin of Aragorn. "Stop it" he shouted "Your going to kill him." Elrohir was holding Elladan by his arms because the older elf was very irrational right now. It was true, if Aragorn had any more beating to the face it was likely he would choke on his own blood.

Arwen was on the ground tending to the fallen man. "Are you alright?" she asked very concerned. "I will be fine" he answered as he stood up. He walked over to the twins, which probably wasn't the best thing to do at the time.

"E..Elladan…I" "Shut up" the elf yelled. He pushed Elrohir away again, and Elrohir was getting a bit annoyed with this. Elladan then went over to Estel and pinned him up against a birch tree. He had his forearm braced up against the man's throat and had him dangling centimetres off the ground.

Arwen ran over to them, but she was stopped by Elrohir. He was worried about what his brother might do right now. The older twin was always known to have a temper and Elrohir didn't want Arwen to get involved. Or more involved than she already was.

"Let me go" she cried. She was in hysterics and didn't know what to do. Without another thought she kicked her brother's leg, so he would let her go. Just as she wanted, his grip loosened and she slipped out of his grasp. 

She ran over to the tree that two of the most important people in her life were stationed at. 

"Stop it, release him" she shouted to her brother. "Get out of here Arwen" he said, his eyes still focused intently on Aragorn. She was again stumped on a plan of action to take. So she did what she had before. Arwen slapped Elladan on the side of his head. He was not expecting his younger sister to do this, so like Elrohir he let go of the person he was holding. 

Aragorn fell to the ground, his face was red from the lack of oxygen to his lungs. 

"Arwen, what do you think you are doing" Elladan demanded loudly. They were staring into each others eyes, neither wanting to be the one to back out. 

Knowing that neither one of his siblings would do it, Elrohir dropped down to the side of the man he once considered to be a brother. He didn't know if he could do that anymore, considering the circumstances.

"Estel" he called. "I'm okay" Aragorn answered struggling to get up on his feet, but was stopped by Elrohir. "You don't want to get up to quickly, you might end up falling back down, and in your present state that is very likely" the elf said in a flat tone. He couldn't say he wasn't angry, but maybe his twin had taken it to far.

**************************************************************************

The racket from the four individuals by the gardens of Imladris, had awoken Elrond from a sound sleep.

Wondering what it was the lord went to investigate. He was met by his friend in one of the hallways.

"The noise awoke you as well" Glorfindel said. It was a statement not a question. No matter what, he would have gotten the same reply. "Yes mellon nin, and I have a feeling I know who it is."

**************************************************************************

Arwen and Elladan's gaze never left one another. Leaving Estel on the ground, Elrohir walked over to them.

"Listen, I don't care how mad either of you are right now, I have had enough. Do you hear me, I have had enough. I have been shoved and kicked by both of you, and now you don't even have the courtesy to help me tend to Estel" he shouted.

"There will be no need for that Elrohir, Estel can wait" the angry voice bellowed. The three standing elves along with the fallen human all turned their heads in panic. 

The lord of Imladris was standing behind them and he had fury written all over his ceaseless face. But at the scene laid out before his eyes, Estel on the ground bleeding, Arwen and Elladan staring each other down both ignoring their brother, even Elrond may have gained a wrinkle to his fair face.

Glorfindel had run over to Aragorn and was helping him to his feet.

"Would any of you care to explain to me the situation you find yourselves in?" the Peredhil asked visibly annoyed that this be the reason he was awoken out of his deep slumber.

"It's a long story" Arwen began. "Okay fine, Aragorn go to the houses of healing and I will meet you there, in the morning you will all explain to me what happened."

****

What do you think? Let me know. Sorry this one was short but a got a bus load of hmwk. AHHHH help. Does anyone really like doing hmwk? Beats me. 


	8. chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own anything *sniff* I am not making $ on it.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

How Can I Survive

Chapter 8

The four beings nervously watched Elrond pace the floor of his study over and over again. They were all awaiting what he was going to say to them and what lecture he was bound to give.

Aragorn was very tired for he hardly got any sleep the previous night. He couldn't get any sleep. He had gotten a broken nose and several stitches. He had a large cut on his brow and one on his cheek. This made it hard to get comfortable.

"Now I will give you the chance to speak up about what occurred before I ask you. Which one of you will speak first?" Elrond asked hoping that one of his children would speak the truth.

Elrohir stood up from the soft plush chair that he had occupied and walked closer to his father, his burgundy robe dragging the ground beneath him. 

"I will" he stated, which pleased his father. "Well Elladan was…informed by Ireth that Arwen…well has begun a relationship…" "What? She told you. I swore her to secrecy" the Evenstar interrupted. "It's a good thing that she had some sense and told me" Elladan snapped rubbing his forehead. "How can you defend her against me, your own sister. I am smart enough to choose whom I will give my heart to" "Apparently not" the elf replied to his sister, whilst glaring at Aragorn.

"Enough bickering" Elrond ordered. "I want to know everything that happened, so if Elrohir would continue maybe we can get to the bottom of something" the elven ruler said to his son gesturing that he carry on form where he left off.

"Perhaps Arwen should continue from here" Elrohir said not wanting to be the one to tell Elrond that Aragorn was the one whom Undomiel 'loved'.

"Alright fine. Arwen?" The Peredhil was getting increasingly agitated with these four younger ones.

"It is no one else's business" she persisted also not wanting to tell her father. "Fine I will do it, seeing none of you have the guts to. Estel. She has begun a relationship with Estel." Elladan retorted angrily.

Elrond had no idea what to say to the information he had just received. "Is this…the truth?" he asked not wanting to deem it so. Arwen buried her face in her hands and started to cry, which was enough of an answer for the lord of Rivendell, but he would also get a verbal reply. "Yes it is true" Aragorn said not making eye contact with the elf who had raised him.

"Estel look at me" Elrond ordered and the man complied. "How did this happen?" he asked apprehensively.

"Ada, how can you be so kind to him?" Elladan demanded. "My son I am just asking Estel a question." "I know by the tone of your voice that you are being kind to him, and so does he. He's just eating it all up" the elf shouted at his father.

"Brother, it is okay" Elrohir said as he grabbed his twin's hand. "Does he still have you all fooled? He is only trying to get your sympathy" he yelled pulling his hand away.

"Elladan stop it now" Arwen screamed, wanting to make her brother shut up. Elrond felt the need to cease the fighting but he knew these words needed to be said, no matter how harmful they were.

"Sit down Arwen" Elrohir said calmly. Right now he was the most under control. Elrond seemed more unruffled than his son but inside he was fighting a raging storm and loosing. The younger twin gave the impression that he could handle his emotions better than anyone else in the room. He had almost a tranquil aura about him. What no one knew though is that he had to wrestle with himself to do so.

"Aragorn you have to understand that we are all upset with this. It is not easy to learn that your daughter and the man you raised as a son have found love in each other. It is very difficult. When an immortal loves a mortal…." Elrond let his voice trail off for he knew everyone in the room knew what happens under those circumstances.

"I do love her" Aragorn shouted causing all eyes to turn to him. "I love her" he repeated causing Elladan to laugh. "Please, who knows what game you might be playing" the elf said shaking his head.

"I am playing no game" the Dunedain said defending himself, because he got the feeling that nobody else would save for Arwen, but she was crying to much that she couldn't speak.

"Do you have to cost another immortal to be helpless against the claws of death? Does another elf have to die?" Elladan hissed, while squeezing his hand tightly into fists.

Even the Evenstar stopped weeping at the cruel words that were just spoken. Elrond had heard enough. "Elladan" he hollered. "That is quite sufficient" the elf lord finished.

But Elladan didn't agree. He had his hand ready to give Aragorn another punch. But Elrohir had foreseen his brother's actions. He didn't have ample time to push Aragorn away though, so instead he stepped in front of the man and he got the fist in his face.

The elf fell to the ground. "Elrohir" Elladan cried when he realized he had not hit the intended target. He knelt down beside his brother. "I am fine" Elrohir replied as he struggled to his feet. Elladan helped his twin up.

But after he knew his sibling was alright he turned his gaze back to Aragorn who was on the verge of crying.

"It is not my fault Legolas died" the man said. When the name of the fair haired elf came out of his mouth, Estel could no longer hold back the tears. Realizing that he had started to weep, the man ran out of the room as if he was on fire. Elrohir went after him, for he knew his father would want to talk to Elladan and Arwen.

"Estel" the elf called as he saw the figure of a man run through the hall. "Estel." He finally caught up with the Dunadain and grabbed his arm and they locked eyes. 

"You don't have to give me your pity Elrohir, I know all of you hate me" Aragorn said in between gasps.

"I don't hate you, but…I can't say that I am not fractious with the circumstances. It is a little hard not to be. I mean it is also a little strange. You were raised as my brother and now you are in love with Arwen" he finished, by this time he had released the man from his grip.

"You can not choose who you love" Estel said. "I know, but did it have to be my sister?"

****

Like it? Huh huh? let me know. Flames will be burned! hahahaha


	9. chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to my dismay. I think I'm going to cry *sniff* anyway I'm not making any money on it.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

A/N- There will be more A/A scenes to come in later chapters so don't worry!

How Can I Survive

Chapter 9

Arwen heard a knock on the door of her quarters. At first she thought it was Elrond and he was here to give her another long lecture about lying and keeping secrets. But it was not so.

She opened the way in only to find Aragorn standing there looking as forlorn as anything. "Estel what's wrong" she asked as she dragged the man into her room. "I love you Arwen" he said, but that didn't really answer her question.

"I love you as well, but is everything alright" she enquired as she put her palms to his cheeks. "Everything will be" he answered.

She didn't know what he meant by that but she decided it wouldn't be wise to press him about it, so she left it alone.

"No but Arwen you need to know this. I love you" he said, and he started to shake. The Evenstar was getting worried about him. "Maybe I should take you to the houses of healing" she suggested. "No I am okay, and so will everything else." Arwen was confused about what he was saying. "Perhaps you just need to sleep, you probably didn't get much last night" she said touching his broken nose. "I think you are right" the man replied as he kissed her and left the room.

Aragorn made his way down the hallways to get to his room. Once he had arrived he sat down on his bed and took one last look at his room. The room that had belonged to him for many many years. "This is for the best" he thought to himself. "She may miss me at first, but she will soon forget about the love we shared. It is for her own good" he assured his aching heart.

He picked up his sword, the sword Elladan had given to him on his 20ith birthday, and sheathed it. He also gathered a small pack which carried two changes of clothes and a bit of food, that might last him the week, along with some lembas bread that would last longer.

He walked onto the balcony and climbed down until his feet met the grassy ground. He then quickly made his way to the stables to retrieve his horse. He mounted the mare and rode the direction that led to the forest that surrounded Imladris.

**************************************************************************

Thranduil and his party would be leaving to go back to Mirkwood in the morning so all of them were getting some rest. For some reason the king could not. He got up out of his bed and walked out on to the balcony. He thought all he needed was fresh air.

On the veranda, he saw something off in the distance. Only the sharp eyes of an elf could've picked up that it was a human riding away from Rivendell and not towards it. Thranduil had heard what had occurred between Estel and Arwen, so he could only guess that, that was who it was.

He ran as fast as he could to Lord Elrond's quarters and banged as hard as possible. Startled, the Peredhil jumped out of bed and opened the door. 

"Thranduil, what is wrong?" he asked hurriedly. "Its Estel, I think he has run off."

Together, the two elven rulers sprinted down the hallways in the direction of Aragorn's bedroom. Without even bothering to knock, Elrond threw the door open, only to find it empty, except for a letter that lay on his made bed.

"Maybe I will leave you alone" Thranduil said and he left the span, closing the door behind him.

Elrond let a tear fall from his eye as he read the salutation. He had written 'dear family' but he had crossed it out. The letter now read:

Dear Lord Elrond and Yours,

I apologize for the pain I have caused you and your family. I am truly sorry, which is why I have left. I think it is best for everyone involved, if I was gone. Especially Arwen. Please know that I do love her and that will never change, never. I know there is nothing that I can say or do that will make up for the trouble that have cast upon you, so I will not even try to.

I will stay away from Rivendell as long as you deem necessary, even if that means for the rest of my life. I will not blame you if you think that is a good idea.

Elladan, I am sorry for all my mistakes that have caused you pain. I never meant for it to be like this. I love you like a brother and I always will. I know you are angry at me and rightfully so. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, considering I will never forgive myself. I am sorry for what happened to Legolas, for he was my best friend and he was your friend. The blame will forever be on my shoulders and that is where it belongs. 

Elrohir, I thank you for defending me but I still can't figure out why you did that. I will always remember you even if you won't remember me. I am sorry we have to part under these circumstances, but I see no other way. You will always remain in my heart.

Arwen, I am sorry I fell in love with you.

Aragorn son of Arathorn

****

R & R PLEASE!!


	10. chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, Tolkien does.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

How Can I Survive

Chapter 10

Elrond closed his eyes tightly to try and block the tears that badly wanted to fall. He folded the letter back up and put it in his pocket. He then walked out of the room to go to his study. The lord sent one of the guards to go fetch his children and have them brought there as well.

Elrond sat in a chair and studied the letter again, as if reading it repeatedly would change what was written. 

Finally his kin arrived and he bid them to enter. "What has happened adar?" Elrohir asked desperate to know what had his father this anxious. "I have bad news" he said, handing the letter to the three younger elves. They looked at it in dread, not wanting to believe it.

"It can't be" Elladan whispered. "It just can't. I didn't mean it." The elf said giving in to lamentation. Elrond draped a loving arm over the shoulders of his son, and grabbed the hand of his other.

Arwen still had not put the note down. She refused to cry. "Undomiel?" Elrond called nervously. "Its not the truth. Estel wouldn't do that" she denied. "Arwen…we will bring him back" "No Ada, he is never coming back" she yelled as she threw the letter to the ground and ran out the door, slamming it behind her.

The peredhil was about to go after her but was stopped. "No father let me go, she thinks it is my fault, I can feel it" Elladan interrupted as he pulled away from Elrond and followed his sister.

"Arwen" he called. She stopped halfway down the hall that she occupied and turned around to see her brother coming up from behind her. He halted as they were inches apart, staring each other down.

"Don't do this, talk to me" Elladan said as he put his hand on hers, which hung at her side. She snatched it back as quickly as he had put it there. "Don't touch me. You are the reason he left. Its because of you that he is gone" she relented.

He used his index finger to wipe away the tears that fell from his intense grey eyes. 

He now knew how Aragorn must have felt when he blamed him for the death of Legolas, even if he didn't mean it. The elf knew it wasn't the man's fault, but he still said it and at this instant he was full of regret and self loathing.

"Your words were to cruel" she hissed. "I know, I shouldn't have said what I did, but recognizing that now will not change it."

"You should have been smarter" she shouted as she slapped him across the face, and continued to run back to her quarters.

Elladan shook his head because he knew she was right, and he had no right to be angry at what she said because that is exactly how he had acted towards Aragorn. He bit down so powerfully that it broke the skin and he could taste his blood on his tongue.

Elrond and Elrohir had witnessed the whole thing because they had left the study, just as the confrontation had begun.

Elrohir ran over to his twin and brought him into a loving enfold. Elladan's arms were still drooping at his sides and he was weeping. "She did not mean what she said just like you didn't" Elrohir said as he came away from his brother, still holding his forearms. "Even if she didn't, it doesn't change the fact that it is the truth" Elladan retorted.

"My son it is not your fault. He made a choice, you did not force him to make" the elven lord replied to his melancholy child.

**************************************************************************

Aragorn had decided to take rest for the night. He set down his pack and sat down with his back against a tree. He quickly fell asleep, for he was very fatigued.

"What do you think you're doing?" the voice thundered causing Aragorn's eyes to snap open. "Elrond is going to be very mad" the figure jested. Estel couldn't believe his vision. "Legolas?"

****

Well what do you think? Does anyone know a good elvish translation site. If you do please tell me!!!!


	11. chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It all belongs to Tolkien.

Summery: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only one person who can draw him out of it.

****

How Can I Survive

Chapter 11 

"Legolas" he repeated "Am I dead?" Aragorn asked confused, for he wasn't even injured. The question caused the elf to laugh. "No mellon nin you are not dead, far from it" he replied. "Then are you alive, but I was at the funeral you had no pulse. Why are you here?" Estel questioned bewildered by this meeting.

"So may questions, you are acting like someone half your age. You should be ashamed" Legolas teased. "Please" the man begged for some answers.

"I am here for a time. I was originally sent to help you with your depression, but there is no need for that now. Just your childish behaviour." The elf said. Estel still looked perplexed. "What 20 year old runs away from home" he joked once again. Legolas seemed in good spirits, which puzzled Aragorn even more than seeing his friend.

"My friend, you can not run away from your problems. T'is not wise, will only get you into trouble." "I am afraid that Lord Elrond and the twins no longer want me" the Dunedain said embarrassed. Legolas hit the man upside the head. "That is not true, and they would be very displeased if they heard that" "They are already displeased with me, for I am in love with Arwen."

"Legolas?" "Yes" the elf replied. "I am still confused about one thing, are you dead or are you alive? You have still not told me" Estel said rubbing his forehead.

"As I told you I a…" "Yes yes, you are here for a time. For the sake of the Valar what does that mean?" Aragorn shouted, as he stood up so he could look Legolas in the eyes. Although he was still a tad shorter, it was better than sitting on the ground.

"It means I am here for as long as I am needed, and that won't be lengthy" the fair being said, which caused Aragorn's heart to become heavy.

"But do not be sad. You should be elated to have finally found love." the immortal continued. "Come on, I will take you back to Imladris" he finished.

**************************************************************************

"We have to send out search parties and riders and give word to Lorien to ask for aid. We have to find him before he gets to far. We should also tell Gandalf because he could be of some help." Elladan talked very fast and they just made out what he said. 

"We will, but you should get some sleep. Staying awake will not help." the elf lord said. "I don't think so. I will not just sleep, while Estel is out there. Who knows what might have befallen him…"

"Father" Elrohir yelled as he ran in from the balcony. "Its Estel, he has returned. With another who I know not."

Elrond looked out the window to see for himself and it was correct. All three of the elves dashed out of the room to meet Estel and the unknown stranger.

They finally made it to the gates of Rivendell. The unidentified being's face was blocked by Aragorn so they could still not see who it was.

Elladan grabbed the man and pulled him into an embrace revealing the face of the other. "W…what" Elrohir managed to say before he fell unconscious to the ground in astonishment. Aragorn pulled away from Elladan and knelt down next to the fallen elf, for the others were to surprised to do anything. Finally Elrond was able to break the silence that was becoming more and more awkward.

"Legolas is that you?" "Yes it is I. Surprised to see me?" he jested. "I swear you sylvan elf, if that was a joke.." 

"It wasn't a joke, Elladan. I really did die, I have just been sent back to bring Estel home to you" Legolas replied, answering many questions on the minds of the others.

"Well do you know how long you will be able to grace us with your presence?" Elrond asked. "I do not deem it to be prolonged. My guess is just the night. I was hoping to be able to see my father though" Legolas said looking very sad.

"Well then your wish will be granted, Thranduil is here" Elladan said as he pulled the blonde elf behind him into the palace of Rivendell.

Aragorn picked up the other twin, and he and Elrond followed behind them.

They walked in the door and Thranduil was already awake. Legolas explained to him what had happened and why he was here. Then Mirkwood's king pulled Legolas into a hug and it looked like the younger elf was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen.

"Elladan, go get your sister" Elrond ordered. "That's probably not a good idea" the twin said and the peredhil nodded in agreement. "I will go" Elrohir replied. He had just awoken and was regaining his composure.

Everyone involved was looking forward to this night, for they knew it would be the last time they would see Legolas for a very long time. For some it would be the last.

****

Like it? Don't worry, more A/A scenes to come.


	12. chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

Thanks to all my reviewers!!

How Can I Survive

Chapter 12

"Uncertainly Legolas will pass this hour and I can not bear to say goodbye to my son again" Thranduil said to Elrond. The two elf lords were standing in the hallway outside of the price's room.

"Of course. I understand completely. As a father I can see where you are coming from. Do not be ashamed my friend, you shouldn't have to."

Thranduil's spirits were relieved at this statement so he made his way back to his quarters. But he was still very depressed as any parent would be in these circumstances. He walked away and didn't look back for if he did he knew he would never leave.

Another reason he left is because he knew part of the reason that Aragorn was depressed was because he never got to say good bye.

Elrond also knew this, so he called the others out of the room that Legolas occupied. Arwen had been wanting to run over to Aragorn since she learned of his arrival but this needed to be done in order for her love to be able to get on with his life.

"I never thought I would have to loose you once but now I am loosing you twice" the man said sombrely. "Mellon nin, we will meet again in the Halls of Mandos" Legolas replied happier than his companion. Happier not happy.

"I know we said that we would never keep secrets in our friendship because they tear even the strongest of friends apart. But there was something that I have never told you" the elf stated catching the other in the room off guard.

"Well are you going to tell me now?" the Dunedain asked. "Yes. Yes I will tell you."

"I did once find love. She lived here in Rivendell and was most beautiful, however she was never really happy. But she was the nicest person you could have met. Her name was Niandra" he started keeping the interest of Estel.

"We met while she was visiting in Mirkwood. She was going to be staying there for a couple of years and we became very close. I was actually going to ask her to become my wife. I had a necklace that belonged to my father's mother and its beauty matched that of hers." Aragorn bid him to continue.

"Unfortunately word was sent for her to return home to Imladris as soon as she received the letter. It was very bad news. The memo said that her father was slain by orcs and had died of severe injuries."

"I accompanied her back along with the family that she was staying with. Niandra and her father were very close. She passed of a broken heart" The elf paused for a second before continuing.

"The only reason I did not follow was because I knew she was once again happy. She was back with her Adar. I could not be sad if I knew she was in high spirits. I loved her and I still do and all I wanted was for her to be joyful. And she finally was."

"I am so sorry" was all Aragorn could say because for the most part he was stunned for words. "Do not worry, you do not have to be sorry, you did not cause it." Legolas said and he truly meant it.

"Here I have a gift for you" the elf continued pulling something out of the hidden pocket in his green tunic.

It was a beautifully crafted mithril chain with an equally beautiful red ruby hanging from if.

"I could not use but you can" he said as he placed the necklace in the hands of his best friend. "Give it to Arwen, you deserve to be together" Legolas finished as his breathing ceased and he returned to Niandra in the Halls on Mandos.

Aragorn didn't know what to do. He called for Elrond to come but nothing would come out of his mouth.

"…Elrond…Elrond…Anybody…" he shouted but nobody could hear him except for himself.

All of a sudden his eyes snapped open and he looked around studying his surroundings. To his dismay he was leaning against a tree. The tree he had placed his weight upon the night before. He was heartbroken to find out the his friend really didn't return and he hadn't gone home.

He stood up abruptly causing something to fall from his lap. Noticing this Aragorn went on his knees to find it. Whatever it may be. He gasped as he set his eyes on something that lay on the leaf covered ground. A beautiful mithril chain with a red ruby hanging from it.

He didn't know if it could be the truth but then again, Namo is capable of many things.

He picked it up and squeezed it gently in his hand as not to break it. He placed it to his heart. "I will do this for you Legolas and for you Arwen. I will run no longer, I will return home" this was the secret vow he made to himself, his friend and the love of his life.

****

Like it? Let me know. Oh and Namo is one of the Valar who resides in the Halls of Mandos, just to let you know. Sorry its short, but I have writers block. 


	13. chapter 13

Disclaimer: I am not Tolkien therefore I own nothing *sniff*

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls in to depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 13

Aragorn still wasn't sure what he was going to say when he arrived back. Especially after the letter he left. He told Elrond he would stay away as long as necessary, what if he wasn't gone long enough? He had written another note for just Arwen that he would give to her with the necklace. He had written all his deepest thoughts. Then another question crossed his mind. What if she didn't want him back?

He had no more time to ponder these thoughts for he was ambushed. Orcs and lots of them. "How could I have not heard" Aragorn cursed himself. The man was surrounded by tons of these foul creatures. He unsheathed his sword, but he knew this was a fight that he was not going to win.

An orc slashed Aragorn across his left arm cutting his skin deep and leaving a huge gash. All Estel was able to do was stab the being, before he was knocked unconscious by the hilt of a blade.

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"You can not hate your brother for his actions. His words were cruel yes, but he still loves you and he still loves Estel and that will never change. Even I know this" these wise words were spoken by Pityon. He had been residing in Imladris since he arrived with Legolas.

He had seen the fight between Arwen and Elladan and he knew the other would need his father and brother. He also knew that the Evenstar wouldn't let them talk to her. But she trusted Pityon and would talk to him and that was something that she needed to do. Talk.

"But he blamed Estel for everything. Things that weren't his fault" Arwen exclaimed, surprised that Pityon had taken Elladan's side. "I know my dear and that wasn't right, he shouldn't have done that. But you have to understand, he was blinded by his anger. And his anger was overthrown by his love for you" he said gently.

Deep inside Arwen knew this was the truth, she knew her brother loved her and Estel and she knew that she loved Elladan as well. She wrapped her arms around Pityon, as they stood on her room's balcony that looked over all of Imladris. Earendil was shining brightly against the darkness of the velvet sky.

A knock on the door brought Arwen out of her thoughts. She went back into her room and opened the door. Elladan stood there with his chin touching his chest and he was looking to the ground.

"Ill leave you two alone" Pityon said as he excused himself and left the two siblings to talk.

"Can I come in?" the older elf asked. "Yes you may." They went on the balcony as she and Pityon had done earlier. 

"Arwen…I am so sorry…" "No I am, I shouldn't have said what I did. If I was acting like that I had no reason to be angry with because you acting like that was the basis of why I was mad in the first place" she blurted out. "Well how about we leave it at we are both regretful about our actions" Elladan offered and his suggestion was met with an accepting nod from his sister.

"I never meant for him to run away. I still love him as a brother" the twin said. "I know you do, and he does too wherever he is" Arwen comforted. "I guess I can hope, but I don't see how he could after what I said. What good and loving brother would verbalize such anger and resentment because of something the person couldn't help" Elladan said shaking his head in disappointment for himself.

Arwen rubbed her brother's arm. "You are a good brother, to me and to Estel" she softly said hoping to lift Elladan's spirits considering she had failed to lift her own.

He laughed at her statement "No I am not. I got angry because he had finally found love. No doubt because his heart was turned towards you I would be upset because of the consequences, but I didn't have to be so hard-hearted about it."

"Elladan" Glorfindel shouted as he ran into the room. Worried about the elf's haste the twin ran in off the balcony to meet Glorfindel.

"What is it?" he demanded. "The patrol just brought news. Bad news. There are orcs on the premises and somebody was attacked" the elf lord said. By this time Arwen was also wondering to find out what had happened so she was waiting for the story to continue.

"Who? Who was attacked?" Elladan questioned. "We are not positive for we have no body. The beasts must have taken it with them, or the person is not dead" Glorfindel reported conveniently leaving something out. But Elladan sensed this.

"What aren't you telling me?" "We think it was Estel."

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Well what do you think? Let me know!!


	14. chapter 14

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 14

"Estel" Elladan felt the colour drain from his already pale face as he repeated his foster brother's name. Arwen couldn't even speak.

Glorfindel had no choice but to break the shocking silence. "Elladan, your brother…Elrohir is waiting for you. A search is being set up. If orcs are this close we have to free the forests of them" the elf lord stated.

Coming back to reality, Elladan nodded. "Arwen…" he said before he left. "Go its okay, I'll be fine." Satisfied the twin walked out the door. He was stopped only about a metre down the hall though. The Evenstar grabbed the material of his royal blue tunic. He turned around to look her in her eyes. "Find him."

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Aragorn woke up groggy and with a pounding headache. His arm hurt painfully but he couldn't remember why. He was laying on a cold cement floor of a cold cement cell lit by 2 torches.

He ran his hand through his sweat drenched hair only to cringe when his fingers came across a large bump on the back of his head. His fingers came away bloodied, which showed that whoever had him captured had taken little care to his injuries. 

Finally the memories of the night before all flooded his mind. That didn't at all help his hurting head. He remembered the dream, the necklace, his decision and then the attack. He remembered it all. Along with all the memories came a question that the answer he knew not. "Why didn't they kill me?"

Hearing the story about the twins' mother, he for one knew that orcs were not merciful creatures. Why did they spare him? Did he own something they wanted? If he had it on him they certainly would've taken it because all of his possessions were gone. He was just more confused than ever.

"Finally awake are we?" a voice said from outside the bars of his cage. Aragorn didn't at all recognize the voice that spoke to him. "Who are you?" "Your worst nightmare Aragorn son Arathorn." 

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I know I know, its really short. Bad me bad me. I smack myself upside the head. *ouch* r and r!!


	15. chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own everything…just kidding. I own nothing. *evil laugh*

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

Thanks to all my reviewers!!

How Can I Survive

Chapter 15

"This is to familiar" Elrohir said to his brother as they searched the woods for anything that could lead them to the missing person. "Estel or not, this is getting to be heart wrenching" the younger twin finished. "I know but we have to keep searching" Elladan responded.

They had found a set of footprints that belonged to a horse, and the search party ad been following that. 

"Blood" Glorfindel exclaimed. The twins ran over to him. "Its not human nor elf though" Elrohir said dismissing the thought that it was from Aragorn. "Then what is it?" Glorfindel asked. Elrohir didn't know the answer to that question, but the other twin laid his eyes on it.

"It's horse blood" Elladan said as he pointed into the bush only about a couple metres away. A mare lay there on its side.

"That's Estel's horse" Elrohir gasped as he reached the animal. "Does she still breathe?" Glorfindel questioned. The younger twin felt for a pulse but there was nothing. By the look on his face the other two already knew the answer.

"Well then, there's got to be something around here that will lead us to him" Elrohir said, trying to be a light in the darkness. Whenever anybody was around him, Elrohir could always cheer them up, or at least give them hope when it appeared that there was none.

Elladan had already begun to walk ahead of the others. It seemed that his brother was right. "Elrohir, Glorfindel come quick!" he called. They ran over to him as fast as they could, for fear that there was another body, and it wasn't a horse.

"What is it?" the elf lord asked. "Look" Elladan responded as he showed them a necklace that he had found on the ground, laying beside a dead orc corpse.

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"Your brothers and Glorfindel are some of the best trackers Imladris has" Elrond said to his upset daughter. He had found her in her room laying on her bed crying. She wiped her tear stained cheeks with her frail, shaking hand.

The lord of Rivendell sat down on Arwen's bed beside her. He wrapped an arm around her and she fell into his embrace. She didn't try to stop the tears that were falling from her eyes. She just hugged her father tightly, the way that she had done when she was a child, and what she hadn't done for a long time.

Elrond held her, slightly rocking back and forth and singing a gentle song to sooth his only daughter.

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"I meant what's your name" Aragorn said to his captor. The man just laughed. "You will find out in time" he cackled.

Just by looking at this man you would be able to tell that he was evil. He had a cruel looking face with a ragged scar starting from his left eye that went to the start of his lip. He had short black hair with hints of grey, which showed that he was much older than Aragorn. He had a foul demeanour.

The man then turned to the orcs that were on guard. "You can have your time with him. But don't be to hard, I want him alive."

The end…just kidding. What do you think? Let me know!! 


	16. chapter 16

Disclaimer: I own none of it.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 16

Aragorn's pain filled screams could be heard all throughout the building he was captive in. It would be heart wrenching that is if any of these beings had hearts.

"Daro, daro" he pleaded. [stop, stop] The orcs would not listen to his pleas. They kept thrashing him with whips and poking him with spears. "Stop please" he cried. "Okay if you want us to stop this we will" one of the creatures said evilly. He threw his whip to the floor. The orc then walked to wall and pulled one of the torches off it.

"Would you prefer this" he asked as he placed the fire too close for comfort to the man's back. It burned through his already ripped tunic. The others in the room caught on. They placed the points of their spears into the flames. Steel as they were, they became very hot. They then continued poking him with the scorching weapons. As if it wasn't bad enough already, the man passed out for the agony was too much for his young body to endure.

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"There's a letter that was with it" Elladan said as he picked the note up from the blooming ground. Glorfindel opened and studied the letter for some time before turning to the twins. "It's to Arwen…from Estel."

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Elrohir burst through the door of his sister's quarters with the two others close behind him. "Adar, we found something" he said when he saw them sitting on Arwen's bed. "What, what is it?" Elrond demanded as his other son and his advisor also came into the room.

The younger twin thrust the letter into his sister's hands and showed the necklace to his father. "We come across this. It is the proof that confirms our beliefs that it is Estel" he said hesitantly. "We also found his horse" Glorfindel added to make sure that there would be no doubts. Elrond rubbed his chin with his left hand.

"We will send search parties of bigger capacity out at dawn tomorrow. You three better get some rest because you will be with them" the elven lord ordered and the others nodded and left the room.

The peredhil them turned his attention back to his daughter who was still focused on the letter she had just received. "Arwen-" "Its from him" she replied to his unfinished question. "Are you going to be alright" he asked in a very fatherly tone. "I'll be fine, I just want to be alone" the Evenstar responded, her eyes never straying from the piece of paper. "Okay, I will come back and check on you later" and with that Elrond left through the open door closing it behind him.

_Dear my beloved Undomiel,_

I am sorry for leaving in the abrupt manner that I did. It was wrong and if I could go back in time I would change my actions. But unfortunately that is not an option for me. Your trust in me will be forever dented. I will try my best to make it up to you. At the time that I left, I thought it was the best thing to do, and I still do. I think you needed the time with your family. I spent a long time thinking what I could do to earn your faith in me back but nothing I could think of is worthy. So I will leave the decision up to you. 

If there is nothing I can do then so be it. I can accept that as my fate. I know I will never again have the trust of anyone else in your kin so you have the right to join them in their beliefs. You would not be wrong to agree with them, as they are not wrong for feeling ill towards me. I broke their confidence in me, and now I have done the same thing to you. 

If this is to be the reality of my life I just want you to know one thing. I am not sorry that I met you. But I am sorry about the pain that our meeting has caused you and yours. However saying this can not change what I feel. You gave me faith in myself and in my abilities. You gave me strength to get on with my life when I felt like I had none left. And for this I will be forever in your debt. Please accept this necklace as a token of my love. It was given to me along with some very good advice from an old friend. This jewel is beautiful and so is the love that my heart has for you. I will always love you and that will never change.

Aragorn son of Arathorn

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The young man was thrown back into his cell after the beating he had just taken. He was bleeding in various places. He had awoken minutes before his body hit the cold floor of his cage. He was in so much distress. He could feel many broken bones which was most likely the result of the abuse the orcs had just given him. 

Aragorn couldn't even pull himself to his feet. He had tried twice and he had failed miserably both times. The second time though he realised that he was not alone. He heard a malicious laugh as he fell to the ground once again. It was a laugh that came from the man who was here earlier.

"Feeling weak are we" he mocked. The older man ran his hand through his hair as he stared at the pitiful looking Aragorn laying on the ground giving the impression of being half dead. At his state he might actually be. But he managed to gather enough energy and courage to ask his something, a question that he had yet to gain an answer to.

"Who are you?" he commanded. "You are in no position to be making demands, you're the captive remember?" he ridiculed. "But you will never get out of here so I guess it would do me no harm if you knew who I was, you would find out eventually anyway." He grabbed a wooden chair and stationed it outside the bars of Estel's chamber.

"My name is Terral and you are here because of a mistake your father made a long time ago."

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Like it? I'll make the next one longer I promise!!


	17. chapter 17

Disclaimer: I own nothing :

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

How Can I Survive

Chapter 17

"It seems like whoever has him went to a lot a work covering their trail" Glorfindel commented to his companions. They had just set out that morning to continue their search for Estel. "I know, but why would someone go to so much trouble to hide their tracks?" Elrohir asked. "Simple. They don't want us to know that they have him." The older twin answered his brother. "They probably know what your wrath on them would be and they are doing all they can to avoid it" the fair-haired elf lord said trying to lift some of the fog of the damp spirits of his friend's sons. All he got in return was a small smile from Elrohir.

They had went in a larger party this time so just in case they found anything they would be prepared in numbers.

"Well so far they're winning" Kementari said sadly. He was one of Lord Elrond's most praised trackers. He had been with the search party looking for Estel and Elladan a couple of months ago, and the young man had grown on him. He might even consider them to be friends. The elves had all set out on foot, this morning for they thought that it would be easier to conceal themselves without the animals should they find anything.

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Arwen had begged her father to let her go out and help the others but she had been denied her wish. Elrond remembered what had happened last time one of his children asked to be off assistance in investigating where a missing person may be. He wasn't about to make that mistake again. He learned from the previous events that it wasn't a good idea.

However the Evenstar wouldn't accept no as an answer. The lord of Imladris was unaware of his daughter's plans though. He wouldn't be until she was gone, was Arwen's hopes. She had not left her quarters since the night before, and she denied the breakfast that Elrond had brought up for her. Her stomach was already upset and eating wouldn't help. Elves are immune to sickness so she knew she wasn't ill. She brushed the thought away and settled on the idea that she was just nervous. Arwen had made up her mind of what she was going to do and nothing would change her mind.

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"What are you talking about?" Aragorn demanded. "Be still young one. Patience is a virtue. I will continue" Terral said with a grin glued to his face.

"A long time ago, when your dear father still lived, you may have called us allies. We trusted each other so to speak. For clarification, this was when Arathorn was the chieftain of the dunadan." His words didn't answer any questions in Estel's mind, it just gave more. Terral could see the confused look on his captive's face and that only added to his contentment. 

"He was a good leader, I'll give him that but I knew I could have been a better one" Terral said with a look of glory etched on his face along with that of sorrow. "I gave him a choice, a choice damn it and he made the wrong decision." the man continued. Tears were evident in his light green eyes, that almost made Aragorn pity him. Almost. He couldn't hand out mercy to the person who would give him none.

"I told him how I felt, I told him that I knew I could have been a greater captain than he. He didn't say anything but the laughter was apparent in his eyes. He told me I would have my time to shine but this wasn't it. But he didn't comprehend that it was my turn to be in charge, to have people follow me." Aragorn didn't know what to say to this. He was about to say something but it seemed that Terral wasn't finished in his story.

"Many people felt the way I did, I eventually found out. Others thought that I could have done a better job than Arathorn, so they helped me come up with a murder plan. A scheme to assassinate your father. Unfortunately there was a mole in my group. Arathorn was smarter than I gave him credit for, and he had a feeling about what I was doing, so he sent a spy. They found me out." Estel thought he was done but again he was mistaken.

"So he banished me and my followers. He condemned us. But now that he is dead I can not have my revenge on him, so of course my first thought was you. You are the next in line to succeed your beloved father, so I will ask you the same thing. Hand over the reins to a more skilled rider." 

The young man didn't know what to say to the other's proposal. If he accepted he may get out of here alive, but then he knew firsthand that people don't always stick to their word. He knew that because of Thartel. But if he did accept where would that put people's faith in him. How would he be labelled. If his father could be strong and not give in, couldn't he? Or was he weak? People already thought low of him, and this would not help. He had wanted to begin training as a ranger, but they would no longer have confidence in him. He had weighed the situation enough to know what the right answer was.

"No, you are not worthy" Estel spat. Terral threw his head back and laughed as he simultaneously shook his head. "You are just as stubborn as your father, do you know that?" He stood from the chair and with a flick of his wrist orcs appeared out of the corners of the prison he was in. "You can continue to play with him, and try to weaken that little will of his." The orcs nodded eagerly showing that they would do their best.

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"We have been searching for hours now and we still have found nothing" Elladan said glumly. "Well then maybe we should head back to the palace and inform Elrond of what we found…or what we didn't find" Glorfindel suggested and the others agreed. It would do no good to follow tracks that always led to nothing.

The group made their way back to Imladris to give the bad news to somebody they knew would be hoping for good news.

The company was met by a frantic Elrond. He was sweating, which rarely happens to elves if ever, he was breathing heavy and his breathes were hitched. It seemed he was waiting for them to return. He was standing by the gates, pacing the ground. "Hir nin?" [my lord] Glorfindel asked worriedly. Elrond seemed to relax down at the sight of both his sons returning but he still looked extremely upset.

A little bit calmer, he managed to say "She's gone, Arwen went to look for him." "What" Elladan demanded. "She left?" The peredhil turned his attention to his eldest. "I'm afraid so, but now that you're back I'm sure we can find them." Elrohir had his hands covering his fair face not knowing what else to do. Glorfindel put an arm on the younger elf's back, but Elrohir just shoved it away and exposed his face once again. He didn't want to appear fragile, but the uneasiness was etched into his strong features. Fear was unmistakably engraved in his dazzling grey eyes as was his twin's.

"We will locate her whereabouts" Elrohir said trying to cover the anguish that his heart was feeling but to no avail for the others were experiencing it as well. "Yes we will, but I want you to get some rest first" Elladan was about to interrupt his father but Glorfindel put his hand on the twin's shoulder silently telling him to let the elf lord continue. "It won't do us any good to have you searching when all you are thinking about is the tiredness that is slowly seeping into your bodies." Although Elladan still wanted to go look for them he knew his Adar was right, it wouldn't help them nor would it help Arwen.

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Elrohir was in his quarters sitting in a plush chair, with his balcony doors open allowing the breeze to enter and blow his twilight coloured hair. It appeared as if the tranquil aura that always seemed to follow him had somehow disappeared and he couldn't regain it. He tried praying to the Valar to help calm his anxious spirit but it did not alleviate his pain.

"Hasn't my family been through enough?" he begged for an answer but he didn't know from whom. He was just talking to whoever could hear him. But there couldn't have been many for he was whispering and even an elf would find him inaudible. "Haven't we grieved a sufficient amount, or do we have to keep experiencing tragedy?" He began to cry the tears that were pleading to fall since he had learned of what his younger sister had done.

"I just want my family to be happy for once." "Be strong young one." The voice came out of nowhere and it nearly made Elrohir fall out of his chair. He knew he could no longer speak to Elladan in his head, how could he to another? "Lady Galadriel?" he asked almost sure that it was her. "Yes it is I. Do not be ashamed to cry" she said that just as her grandson had started to wipe away his tears with his index finger. "You are a brave and valiant warrior and you will make a difference in the lives of many" she advised

"Why do so many bad things keep happening to us?" Elrohir asked hoping she would have the answer to his question. "I am afraid I do not know. But Estel and Arwen both have important roles to play in the future. They are needed as are you" Galadriel said in a very soothing and comforting tone. Then she said one last thing to him before her voice left his head "Aa' lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha" [may the leaves of your life never turn brown]. After she aid that Elrohir knew that their conversation was over. But he also knew that he would never forget it. He would put his trust in her - The Lady of Light.

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Well what do you think? Oh and I know the thing about Arathorn is probably wrong, but this is AU so it doesn't really matter does it? : r and r pls!!


	18. chapter 18

Disclaimer: do I really have to write this? It is obvious I'm not Tolkien….

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 18

Aragorn felt dazed, he had been held captive for almost a week now and he was getting constant beatings. No one had properly tended to his injuries, just enough to keep him alive for further abuse. He had broken ribs and he knew that soon enough they would mend how they were. Because he was raised by one of the finest healers in Middle Earth, he like many knew that would be a very bad thing.

He was laying on the hard floor looking up at the ceiling, his hands were still bound, but even if they weren't he had no energy to even attempt to escape. He knew Terral had many guards and followers and he wouldn't make it a meter out of this place.

"Oh please, Mandos take me" he begged. He was in so much pain and all he wanted was for the agony to stop. "Is this punishment? Is this punishment for all the sorrow I've caused. Please just let me die" he prayed. He yearned for an escape from his anguish and his broken heart. That was all he could do…hope. He knew he didn't deserve to be free of what he was feeling, but maybe mercy would be graced upon him.

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The Evenstar had been travelling for a couple of days now and she had found no sign of the one she was searching for. She didn't exactly know what she was looking for, just anything that could lead her to Estel. Her horse Asfaloth was getting weary for they hadn't stopped once on their journey so far, so Arwen decided to rest, tiredness was even creeping up on her.

She let Asfaloth go and graze, because she knew he would return when called. Glorfindel had given her that animal for her birthday a couple of years ago, he had sent it to her when she was living in Lorien and she had loved it ever since.

She sat down on the dewy grass causing her riding clothes to get a little bit damp. Arwen had decided that they would leave at sunrise, but as luck would have it, it would not be so. Her sharp elven ears picked up the sound of movement in the trees so she immediately stood up, and drew her sword.

Orcs appeared out of the bush and they had their eyes set on the warrior princess. There were a lot of them and she knew she wouldn't last long. They were aware of her predicament as well and it made them cackle ecstatically. One of the foul beings walked over to her thinking that she wouldn't have the guts to hurt him, but he was wrong. He got a sword right through his heart.

Now realizing that she may not be as easy to catch as they had once thought, they attacked in bulk. About ten ambushed where she was standing. One put his dagger up to his throat while another grabbed the hand that she was holding her weapon in. He squeezed her wrist so tightly that she heard a crack and was forced to drop her sword. Now unarmed the Evenstar was knocked on to the ground but she was required to look at her captors.

Hearing the commotion Asfaloth ran back to his master. He was a very smart animal and he knew the only was he was going to be able to aid her was to get help, so he tool off in the direction to Rivendell.

"You know it's not often you see a she-elf wandering the woods all by herself" the orc called Erigdush laughed. Arwen was revolted by these beings. "Antolle ulua sulrim" [much wind pours from your mouth] she spat knowing full well how angry the orcs were going to get at her remark. They could no longer understand the fair language they did once know how to speak.

Unfortunately these creatures had no courtesy towards her and they could care less that she was indeed a she. Erigdush slapped her across her pale face, while the others kicked her midsection. She moaned as they were not being gentle to her. "You will learn how to be more respectful when you meet our leader, he does not tolerate disobedience." Erigdush said as the Evenstar was picked up from the ground, but was made to walk.

They had been travelling for about three days and Arwen was making good pace. This angered the orcs because now they could not punish her for being slow. So they found other reasons to penalize her. "Slow down, this is not a race" Erigdush shouted as he pulled the rope that was tied to her wrists. The rope was very tight so it put a lot of strain on her already broken bone.

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"Asfaloth" Elladan exclaimed as his sister's horse ran up to him. "Where is Arwen? Can you lead us to her?" he asked. The others in the group heard the young prince talking so they made their ways over to him. They were surprised at what they saw.

Elrohir ran up to his brother. "Where is Arwen? Is she hurt?" he questioned somehow thinking that his twin would know. "I do not have the answer" he answered causing Elrohir's head to drop. "Think of this as good news, maybe Asfaloth knows the way to Undomiel" Glorfindel said confident in the horse's abilities, along with those of his companions.

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Okay alright…I know that this one was short but I have a bad cold and I couldn't write anymore : oh and I don't know if Asfaloth is a boy…but oh well! 

p.s. pray for me to get better pls!!


	19. chapter 19

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story and I'm not making $ on it.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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~Author's Notes~ Thanks to everyone who's reviewing!!! I would like to offer my gratitude for everyone who prayed for me. I am feeling a lot better! So there's a chance that this may be a long chapter!!!!

How Can I Survive

Chapter 19

"Well, what do we have here?" Terral asked curiously when the orcs arrived holding captive Arwen. "We found her in the woods and we thought that you might like an elf" Erigdush replied, his voice full of glory.

Terral walked over to her and it seemed as if he was forming an opinion about her. "Now then, if it isn't Arwen Undomiel, the Evenstar herself" he said mockingly. "You know, I've heard about you, 'the pride of your people.' I guess they'll be angry that you're gone won't they?" he sneered.

"You'll never get away with this" she hissed. Her words caused her captor to laugh. "If I had a hostage for every time someone said that to me" he began counting on his fingers to prove his point. "Let us say that I would have a large percentage of the populations of each race" Terral finished proudly. "Dolle naa lost" [your head is empty] Arwen responded to his words. "I have had many elves imprisoned before, and lets leave it at they have never walked out of here. So don't think it will be any different for you. If you defy me I will not hesitate to compensate you for your actions" he said, the threat clear as day. "Take her to a cell."

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The search party had been following Asfaloth, so far he was the only lead to finding Arwen that they had. "Why would she go this way" Elladan asked his brother. "I know not, perhaps because we haven't and we have come up empty-handed" Elrohir answered and his suggestion made sense.

The horse stopped suddenly at a clearing in the woods. The elves began seeking out for anything that could tell them of the location of their princess. "Elladan, Elrohir" Glorfindel called. "Look at this" he instructed as he pointed to an area on the ground. "It appears as it a struggle occurred here, does it not?" he concluded. "It does" the younger twin answered still looking at the curved grass and snapped twigs that lay on the forest floor.

Elladan's eyes caught something and he started to walk ahead. Wonderingly, the others followed. "What is it" Kementari questioned. Elladan pointed to the land, causing everyone else to look down. Then they realized what the young elf was following. There were footprints leading east towards the Misty Mountains.

**********

"This is happening too much my friend. My children keep getting put in danger" Elrond said to his friend. "The Valar will watch over them. And I will keep my promise, I'll not return home until they're found" Thranduil responded.

The two elf lords were sitting in the Peredhil's study. "Mellon nin, they will be found" Mirkwood's king said sternly, trying to convince the other of this. "I hope so, I really do. I want all of them to return…all four of them."

**********

The orcs had put Arwen in the first cell, so she didn't know who was occupying the last, and he didn't know that his beloved was even here. She was sitting in the corner of her cage with her knees drawn up to her chest and was slightly rocking back and forth. She needed a way to calm herself down, so she decided to do what she had been taught. The Evenstar began to softly hum an elvish song. The song of Beren and Luthien.

She was singing quietly but loud enough for the other to hear her.

"Arwen" Estel called from where he was captive. He would recognize her voice anywhere. She stood and halted the song, for she distinguished the sound of the one she loved. "Aragorn" she said faintly, realizing that she had indeed found the one she was looking for, just not the way she had hoped. 

"What are you doing here" he demanded. He couldn't see her face but he knew that it was Arwen. "It's a long story" she said, but because he hadn't replied, she knew he wanted her to continue.

"Okay, I snuck out to look for you, because Adar wouldn't let me search for you. I decided to take a break from riding because Asfaloth was getting tired. But I was ambushed by orcs. They brought me here." she finished.

There was a pause before she received a response "I can't believe you. Why would you do such a stupid thing" Aragorn snapped. Arwen was astounded by his harsh reaction, also a little infuriated.

"Well I'm sorry that I care about you and wanted to help look for you. It's not like I planned on getting attacked and brought here. I wanted to get my wrist broken and be belittled by the man who has you and I detained." She mocked angrily.

Aragorn immediately regretted his words. He knew she only did what she did because she loved him. And now he got upset because of it. It was the worst response he could have given her. He should have been grateful, she risked her life because of him, she got captured because of him. 'Because of him' that phrase was used often in his head and by others. He wasn't worth everything that happened because of him.

"Amin hiraetha" [I'm sorry] he said muffled, but Arwen heard him. "I know you are" she replied kindly. "I love you" she said. "And I you" he responded, not knowing if she should care about him. He didn't think he deserved it.

"Are we quite done" Terral said sarcastically. He stood where both his prisoners could see him. "Good, I will take your silence as a yes. It came a surprise to me, when I was listening to your conversation, that you two know each other, not to mention the fact that you are 'in love'" he mocked, causing the man and the elf to become irritated. "Well we are" Arwen said matching his tone.

"How sweet. Anyway Aragorn, I would like to speak with you again…in private" Terral finished, as he signalled for the orcs to get Estel out of his cage. "What are you going to do with him?" Arwen demanded loudly. "Shut up will you" Terral shouted at her. "Alright Aragorn, we will see if the orcs did their job, and did indeed weaken your will" he laughed evilly.

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Well what do you think? I'm trying to match Arwen's personality in my story to the one that she had in the movie. You know she was brave…she was like "if you want him come and" …… never mind. Review pls.  



	20. chapter 20

Disclaimer: I am not Tolkien, therefore I do not own anything in the story.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 20

"It would be a lot easier if you would just cooperate with me" Terral said to Aragorn. They were sitting in what seemed to be a throne room, and it had tapestries hanging on all the walls. This confused the dunadà n, this man was not of royal lineage. Estel was being held by a few orcs on the ground. "I will never give you what you want" he spat, earning him a backhand against his cheek.

"Erigdush" Terral called to one of his followers. The orc ran over to his ruler eagerly. "Yes milord." Terral whispered something in his ear, and what he said made a cruel smile cross both of their faces. "Right away."

Erigdush left the room, and proceeded down the hallway. This situation baffled the young man. He had so many questions flooding in his mind. Where was the orc going, where was he, was anyone looking for him? The perplexity must have been evident in his eyes, because Terral noticed it. "Don't worry, he will be back."

**********

The companions had been travelling for about a day and a half, and at their speed, they covered the distance that would normally take just over two days. They were only roughly half a day away from the base of The Misty Mountains. 

"This is all very confusing" Kementari noted. "Well we just have to be patient. It will do us more good than you know" advised Glorfindel. The others indicated agreement by nodding their heads, and they silently kept following the tracks that had been leading them on this mystery.

**********

"Come on, Lord Terral wants to see you" Erigdush said as he pulled the prisoner out of the cell that they were being held in. He led the captive back down the corridor towards the throne room. 

He opened the door to enter the span where his 'boss' was occupying. "Well, I'm glad you could join us, my lovely Evenstar" Terral said sardonically when she was pushed forcefully into the room. 

Aragorn's eyes were wide with fury and panic. "What is she doing here?" he demanded. "She is here to give you that extra motivation" Terral answered, his threat was clear to Estel. "If you hurt her I swear I will kill you myself" he warned. "Why don't we ask her what she thinks…hmm? Arwen, don't you think that your beloved should offer up his right to succeed his father to me? Before you answer, I will tell you the consequences if he doesn't, I'll kill you."

"Leave her alone" Aragorn shouted. "Does that mean you have changed your mind?" Terral questioned. "Fi-" "Don't answer him Estel" Arwen interrupted. "You will not give up your privilege to some sadistic mad man" she said still not looking at him. She had her eyed glued on her captor.

Estel had so many things in his head. So many voices. There was Terral, Arwen, and the voice that had been haunting him. He was trying to block out all the sounds but to no avail. All he heard were the threats and the orders and the blame.

"I'll kill her. I promise I will."

"Don't do it Aragorn!"

"It's your fault that he's dead, accept it. She's too good for you. Don't bring her to death as well."

"Stop it" he screamed. He had his hands pressed up to his ears and he was clenching his eyes shut. His current appearance scared Arwen, she was so worried about him. "Stop it" he yelled again.

"It's your fault…all your fault. Don't kill her too." He kept hearing the voices.

"Fine, I hand my rights over to you, just don't hurt her" he whispered, but everyone heard him. "Very well" Terral said, success written all over his face. "Take him back to his cell" he ordered. "What 'bout her?" Erigdush questioned, motioning towards Arwen. "Eliminate her."

**********

"Look" Kementari said as he pointed east, the direction they were heading. "It looks as if somebody has resided here." The others saw what he was motioning at and concurred.

At the base of the mountains, there was what looked to be a palace. It was smaller than that of Rivendell or Mirkwood, but still had the appearance of a fortress. 

"How could we have not known that this was here?" Elrohir said as they approached it, but stayed far enough away so they couldn't be seen. He cursed their senselessness. "It looks to have been established recently, and we haven't passed this way in a time" Elladan answered, still baffled regardless of his explanation.

"Perhaps Arwen or Estel is here" Glorfindel said. "We have to get inside" Kementari observed. "But how" Elrohir brought up the question that was in each of their minds.

**********

"No" Aragorn shouted. "You said you would leave her alone" he exclaimed. "I lied" Terral said lazily.

Arwen was pulled up onto her feet by Erigdush and was started to be dragged out of the room. "Amin mela lle" [I love you] she said to Aragorn as she was pulled out of the doorway. Before she became invisible to him, he saw a glimmer of mithril hanging on her neck. "Cormamin niuve tenna ta elea lle au" [my heart shall weep until it sees thee again] he cried, hoping with everything that he had, that she heard him.

She did. "We're going to have fun with this" Erigdush said happily, which made Arwen want to throw up. They brought her into a room and tied her down on to a wooden table. "What would you like first, whips or spears" the orc mocked.

Arwen knew she had to do something to buy herself time. She knew that search parties would be out looking for her right now. She knew her father. 

"Why do you listen to him, why do you let him tell you what to do?" the Evenstar asked, hoping that her plan would work. Erigdush laughed. "You must think that we are really stupid don't you? You think that by saying that we don't have to listen to him, we would go and attack him instead. Well let me tell you something. Our group wasn't a big one, but when we decided to follow Terral it became one. We became stronger. Now please shut up" he snapped.

Arwen cringed knowing that her idea had backfired.

**********

"I hope this works" Elladan said. "It will, don't worry. Now go" Elrohir commanded to his brother. "Okay, I am. Relax" the older twin responded as he walked out of the safety of the woods.

He went right in front of where the guards were standing. The orcs and the evil men that followed Terral immediately pointed their crossbows and swords in the elf's direction. 'This better work Elrohir" Elladan whispered to himself, as he dropped himself to the ground.

Arrows from out of the trees shot and hit the enemies. Elladan saw the orcs and the men fall dead in front of him.

"I told you it would be successful" Elrohir jested to his sibling who had just stood up and was brushing himself off. "Don't be too happy, there are still going to be more inside" Glorfindel said bringing the younger elves back to reality.

**********

Aragorn was back in his cell, and he was weeping heavily. It seemed as if everybody he loved or cared about, always got hurt and it was always because of him. Legolas died because of him, and now Arwen was going to as well. He had hurt the ones who had raised him by loving Undomiel. Even if she didn't die today, she would eventually. He was like a curse that Middle Earth would never be rid of. 

**********

Arwen screamed in pain as the whip came down on her. She had never experienced anything like this in her long life. She just wanted the excruciating agony to stop. "Tampa" [stop] she shouted.

"Be quiet, won't you" Erigdush cackled as he readied the leather strap to come down once again. But he wasn't able to thrash her, instead he fell down to the floor dead as an arrow imbedded itself in the back of his head. The others soon followed after him.

"Arwen" Elladan called when he saw his younger sister in her present state. He and Glorfindel were the ones who had found her for the search party had split up in hopes of covering more ground.

The two older elves ran over to her and untied her. Elladan picked Arwen up and carried her in his arms. She had passed out because of the pain, but she was alive. The question was for how much longer?

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Well? What do u think? Let me know. Oh and does anyone know any good slow or sad songs? Those are the only songs that I can write to, I can't write to fast songs. So if you know any good ones….tell me!!! Thanks 

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	21. chapter 21

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I don't plan to ever own anything! 

Summary: au After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks to everyone who is reviewing my story. A special thanks to *Gionareth* for telling me about the song 'Everything I Do.' I really like it!

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 21

"Is she going to be okay" Elladan asked Glorfindel, as they ran down the hallways looking for their companions and perhaps Aragorn, for they didn't know if he was even here. "She's a fighter, she'll hang on" was the fair-haired elf's answer. Arwen had her eyes closed as she was being carried down the corridor by her brother, and that was a very bad sign and the two older beings knew this, but neither wanted to say anything to their fellow traveller.

"I hope you're right, for her sake, for adar's…and for mine" Elladan mumbled as they continued on their hunt for the others. Glorfindel could see the anguish and eagerness in his eyes and anxiousness covered the older twin's fair face.

**********

"Please let her be spared" Aragorn prayed to Iluvitar. "I gave him what he wanted, please allow her to go home. I'll stay here and I won't say anything, just let her return to her family" he whispered. He was facing the wall of his cell and sitting on his knees.

"Estel?" Aragorn turned around at the voice that he immediately recognized. He was shocked to see the face of the one he loved like a brother along with a few of the trackers from the place he used to know as his home. "Elrohir, you came" he remained as stunned as ever. He didn't think that anyone would come to look for him, but then it hit him. Arwen. She was here as well.

"Have you found Arwen? She has been captured as well" he sputtered. Elrohir shook his head, indicating a no, for he didn't know that his twin had been successful in that area. The raven haired elf then took the keys he had taken from the fallen orc guard that was stationed outside of the prison room. He unlocked the door to Aragorn's cage and signalled for him to come out of it. 

Estel did so and what happened next surprised him more than seeing a rescue party here. Elrohir grabbed the dunadan and wrapped his arms around him and pulled the man into a brotherly embrace. The elf's actions also amazed his companions. But then again, they knew Elrohir. He was always very forgiving, and Aragorn couldn't help the love he felt for the Evenstar. Also they never were aware of him hating anybody. That is except for the race of orcs and that was understandable, considering his past experiences with those folk.

After they had parted, Elrohir looked at Estel and a smile crossed his lips. "Don't be so startled, it's not like we weren't going to look for you" he said sensing Aragorn's tension and feelings. "I…I'm sorry" he managed to say which just caused the fair being's mirth to grow. 'Come on" he called to the other in his company. "Let go find my brother shall we? Hopefully he will have done something besides give Glorfindel a headache." His joke caused the others to grin, but they had a hunch that Elrohir was just trying to cover the sorrow that he would definitely be feeling.

**********

Kementari was leading the rest of the party to try and rid these walls of whatever evil force had put them in here in the first place. He had a group of about ten warriors and a healer. Diego had accompanied them because they knew that they would probably run into some injured people on their way.

"What do you make of this situation mellon nin?" Diego asked Kementari. The two had known each other most of their lives, which is a long time to say the least. "I am not sure what to think, but hopefully we will get some answers soon."

"Shh" Kementari ordered, as he heard the sounds off footsteps coming down the hallway towards them. He motioned for them to go into the unlit part of the passageway so they could remain unseen. Two orcs came down and seemed to be arguing about something that the elves could care less about. As the foul creatures came close enough, the group jumped out of where they where concealing themselves. They had their bows notched and were ready to kill the outnumbered opponent.

They were stopped as Kementari raised his slender hand. "Whom do you serve?" he asked humourlessly. Neither would answer the question that had been laid out for them. "Whom do you serve?" he enquired again, this time a little more harshly as he place his dagger to he throat of one of the orcs. 

The being squealed with horror because he knew what would happen if he failed to answer again. "Lord Terral…Terral, we serve him" he cried with fright as the blade was removed and he and the other ran down the hallway that they had just come from.

"What did you do that for" Diego demanded angrily. "We should have killed them." Kementari shook his head. "I hate the spilling of blood, even if it is orc blood. They were unarmed, what were they going to do?" he questioned. "No doubt they will inform this Terral of our presence" the healer shot back. "No doubt he will learn of it anyway" the warrior countered proving his point. The other knew his friend was right, and Kementari was in charge of this mission, he was just here for safety precautions. "Fine" Diego said reluctantly.

The assembly continued to walk down the corridor and began to seek out the leader of this place. It was deathly silent and nobody spoke of what had just occurred. 

Luckily they didn't come across any more orcs or corrupted men along their way. Down a passage they came found a drapery covered double door. "If anyone important is in this building, it is most likely they would be in here" Diego noted. "Amin weera mellon nin" [I agree, my friend] Kementari responded as he patted his companion on the back. It was astonishing to see how fast those two could forget a disagreement. 

"As always there will be a lot of guards in there, but you are some of the best warriors in Imladris. I know we will be okay" Kementari said to his soldiers. He deserved his spot as chief of the Rivendell fighters. He could always offer support.

The elves barged through the entrance much to the shock of Terral who was indeed in there. Just as Kemenatari had predicted they were ambushed by all of the men and orcs that followed Terral. They weren't outnumbered but the orcs must have had a lot of training in combat skills because they were the most talented bunch that Kementari had ever come in contact with.

The elf was fighting with two orcs in the corner of the room. Even Diego had put down the herbs and picked up a sword. He was doing surprisingly well for someone who was usually inside tending to injuries.

Kemenatari had taken down one of the orcs with no trouble at all, but the second had managed to slice him across the chest, fortunately the cut wasn't deep, but it still gave him an adequate amount of pain. This situation was annoying the elf, usually this orc would be dead by now, but this Terral had went to a lot of work to get this group trained.

After what seemed like an eternity of sword hitting sword, Kementari was able to throw down his enemy. But he wasn't able to rest for long because now Terral decided that he wanted to fight as well. He came over to the warrior and began to look for death. Kemenatri was able to hold his own though, much to the man's dismay. 

Diego fell another opponent that came his way with much ease. But he wouldn't be able to relax much longer. Although most of the enemy was dead or severely injured, the sight he would see would haunt him for the rest of his life.

The pain in his chest was causing Kementari to loose concentration. It was definite that the blade that he was stabbed with was poisoned. However his one misstep gave Terral the upper hand, and before anyone could aid the elf, the man was able to stab him through the stomach.

Diego's eyes widened as his grip on his dagger tightened. He took aim and through his blade directly at the back of Terral's unshielded neck. He was true to his aim. Terral had taken his last breath and he fell to the ground as lifeless as his followers. The healer ran over to his life long friend, just as the door opened and Elrohir, Aragorn, Glorfindel, Elladan, and the still unconscious Arwen entered. 

Diego was kneeling on the ground next to Kementari trying to mend him in some way that would last temporarily and the others in his group were standing behind them. They took one look and knew what had transpired. The healer looked up at the newcomers and said something to them. "He's gone."

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Like it? I know this chapter didn't revolve around the main characters but I thought that this stuff needed to happen. Anyway let me know what you think and keep it coming with the songs! Thanks!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	22. chapter 22

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

~*Author's Notes*~ Sorry it took me awhile to update, but I've been really busy. I'm getting confirmed in like two weeks and I have two projects for school and also a skit so…I'll stop babbling and I'll write!

How Can I survive

Chapter 22

The now bigger group had ridded Middle Earth of the rest of the beings that occupied this place and they were now making their way back to Rivendell.

"Diego" Elrohir asked cautiously. The healer was walking behind everyone and he had his chin touching his chest. "I'm alright, I just want to be alone" he answered solemnly. The younger elf wasn't convinced but he knew better than to press him. So he walked back to where he was before, beside Estel.

"Listen Aragorn, you don't need to tell me anything right now, but Adar is going to want to know what in the Valar you were thinking when you left" Elrohir whispered to the man. "I know, I know. I'll have a lot of explaining to do. But I've already made up my mind about something. I want to train with the rangers so I can become one" the dunadan stated and the tone in his voice proved to Elrohir that he was very serious about his decision.

"Are you sure about this?" he couldn't help but ask. He received a nod as an answer. "Okay, then I will support you all the way" the elf said as he patted Estel on the back. "Thanks, but you'll probably be the only one" he said sadly, remembering the bitter way he and the other twin had parted. "Don't worry, Elladan didn't mean what he said. He knows what happened wasn't your fault. I've known him a lot longer than you, and sometimes his anger gets the better of him" Elrohir explained.

"I hope so" Aragorn replied. Elrohir knew there were no words that he could say that would fit this moment so instead he just gave the young man a loving look and rubbed his arm in a brotherly way. 

Hours passed and it was silent, no one could think of anything to say. There had been to much tragedy and none of the companions wanted to speak of it. First of all, they had lost the battle of Kementari's life and now nobody knew if their beloved Evenstar would ever open her eyes.

The group decided to make camp when they were about a days travel away from Rivendell. It was a good place to stop because it was sheltered and there were plenty of trees, in case they would have to find safety if they were ambushed.

Aragorn was leaning against a tree when he was approached by Diego. "I think it's about time I take a look at the wounds you have received." "Okay, I should have known this would be coming" Estel responded, hoping to lighten the mood of the other. He knew what it was like to loose your best friend, and he was still suffering because of it to this day. A small smirk crossed Diego's face and that made the man happy, because he wasn't able to be that strong when Legolas died.

"Where are the larger or more painful abrasions located?" he asked professionally. "On my back, the orcs used torches and burned me" Aragorn replied. Diego gestured for Estel to remove his tunic. This was the first treatment that the man was receiving, so when he took off his shirt some of it stuck to the blisters. He was clenching his teeth so hard because this hurt almost as much as it did when obtained the lacerations.

Diego instructed Aragorn to lay on his stomach so he could treat him. The healer took out some athelas and some cream that would help for the burning sensations that definitely were going to occur. The elf put the herbs in some water that he boiled over the fire and the scent that came from it put Estel in to a world of calmness and tranquility. The healer then rubbed some of the salve on the scalds caused by fire.

When he was finished, he packed up his treatments and put them back into a pouch. "Hannon le" [thank you] Aragorn said, as the pain was no longer as strong as it once was. 

After Diego had left, someone else came towards Estel. Someone who the young man never expected to see. "Are you feeling well again?" Elladan asked when he neared the dunadan. The sound of his voice made Aragorn jump to his feet. 

"Um…yeah, I'm…uh feeling b…better…um…thank you" he managed to say. The man's awkwardness and apprehension hurt the elf. Although he knew he couldn't expect Aragorn to be totally at ease with him, he had hoped that it wouldn't be like they had never met before. 

"You can sit down Estel, I know you're in pain. I don't insist on you remaining standing" Elladan said hoping to calm his fellow traveller. Aragorn dropped back down to the ground. He was very fatigued but sleeping could wait if Elladan would actually talk to him again.

"Listen, I need to talk to you" the raven haired being said as he to seated himself on the grassy floor. Aragorn tuned his attention to the person he still wanted to consider a brother. "Okay" he said nervously, wondering what this was about. Elladan paused before he answered but he finally did after a wait of around five minutes.

"I am so sorry about what I said to you. It was uncalled for and so very cruel and it wasn't the truth" Elladan said, putting Aragorn in a state of shock. "Legolas did what he thought was the right thing, as did I. It was just unfortunate that he couldn't be saved as well. It is not your fault and it was wrong of me to blame you" he continued. "About the other matter…I apologize about that too. You can't help who you love, and I know you will always care for Arwen. I was stupid in my actions. I can only wish that you will ever forgive me for my senselessness." he finished.

A huge smile crossed Aragorn's face. He was still to stunned to speak so instead he embraced Elladan, who in turn became bewildered. Tears were matting the man's face, he never dreamed that Elladan would forgive him, and now he was the one asking for forgiveness. "Thank you" Estel said as he came away from the elf who had helped raise him.

"Thank you?" Elladan question, confusion evident in his voice. "I never thought that you would ever forgive me" Aragorn explained. The two laughed about their situation, which showed that they were on better terms. Although there would still be some hurdles that they would have to overcome in order to have the trust that they had before, it was better now.

Elrohir who was now sitting beside Arwen, saw the whole thing unfold and it made him happy to see that the two of them had reconciled. It was something that his family needed right now. He was holding Arwen's hand and praying for her. He couldn't loose his sister, he just couldn't. When they got back to Imladris, Elrond was unquestionably going to have his hands full with her.

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Do you like it?!?! Let me know. Because if you guys don't like it I might not continue to write it. Anyway r and r please.

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~*_Judy Greenleaf_*~


	23. chapter 23

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything, Tolkien does. This greatly depresses me.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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~*Author's Notes*~ I appreciate everyone who is continuing to read my story. It really means a lot to me. I keep expecting for someone to tell me how much my story sucks, but so far I haven't got any reviews saying that which continues to surprise me. I have been deeply contemplating whether or not to finish this story, and so far I am closer to deciding to stop writing it. I have been having so much writer's block lately so I haven't been able to make the chapters turn out the way I want them to. I am going to write this chapter to see if I can overcome the author's curse, but if I can't, I might take a break from writing for the time being. So I rely on what you guys tell me. Sorry for the babbling by the way, I seem to be doing that a lot lately. On with chapter 23.

How Can I Survive

Chapter 23

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Aragorn knocked on the door of the houses of healing. Elrond had been in there with Arwen since the company arrived many hours ago. The young man knew that the lord of Imladris would wish to speak with him, but right now he needed to see the love of his life.

The peredhil opened the door, and it was obvious that he was tired and frustrated at the present moment. "Estel, I am almost finished with her. When I am done I need to talk to you, but right now can you just wait outside?" he asked. "M…milord, um I was hoping that I would be able to help you, for I feel that this whole thing is my fault" Aragorn begged. He needed to make sure that the Evenstar was alright.

"Okay, you can see her for a moment. I have mended all the major wounds, and cleansed the smaller ones. I will let you see her in private, but she has yet to awake" Elrond said as he ushered the man into the room and left closing the door behind him.

Aragorn knelt beside the bed and held her frail hand in his own. She was so pale, more pale than elves already are so it was very frightening for him. He noticed something hanging on her neck, he had seen it before but the knowledge seemed to have escaped his mind. He saw the mithril chain that he had meant to give her when he returned, but couldn't because he was attacked. He wondered how she had received because he had thought that Terral had taken all his belongings. 

"Please wake up Arwen, the world can not loose such a precious person. You mean to much to, to too many. It would be such a horrible loss." he said as his head fell to his chest. He had already lost his best friend, he couldn't loose her as well.

"I am so sorry, I let them hurt you, he said he wouldn't if I gave him what he wanted and I did, but he still tried to kill you. I'm so sorry" he murmured. He stood up off the ceramic floor and looked at her scenic face. She looked so peaceful and relaxed. Just the way that Legolas did when he had already passed. This thought really scared Aragorn, she couldn't leave to, it wasn't right.

He caressed her soft cheek and placed a kiss on her lips. "I know I don't deserve you, but there are many who are worthy of your love, so you have to stay alive…for them" he was almost in tears now. He knew Elrond said that she would be okay, but he couldn't believe that until she opened her eyes.

The crying had finally started and he collapsed on to the floor. He sat up against the wall and drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them as he let his head fall on his knees. His breaths were coming in hitched and he was starting to hiccup. Because of this he didn't notice who came up to him.

After days of being unconscious, the Evenstar finally awoke and when she did, it was to heart wrenching sounds. She looked to the side and she saw Estel weeping heavily in the corner of the room. 

Even though it pained her to do so, she got out of her bed and walked over to him. She knelt down beside him and placed her slender hand on his forearm. Aragorn's head jolted up at her touch. When he saw her, his eyes widened with amazement and relief. He couldn't even form a sentence to say to her.

He was astonished to see how radiant she looked in her present state. Even though she had been lifeless for many days, she was still as beautiful as the first time he had seen her. Her hair hung loosely and un-styled down her back and she was only wearing a plain white nightshirt and was barefoot. But this didn't take away any of the splendour that belonged to her. Her face was as stunning as ever and her grey eyes shone in contrast to her twilight coloured hair. No matter how many scars, how many bruises, and how many cuts she had she would still be the most exquisite being in all of Middle Earth.

"Estel?" she asked hesitantly, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to reality. "You should lay back down, it's not good for you to be out of bed when you're still healing" he said as he went back on his feet and she also stood and let him lead her back to the divan. After she was rested in the bed, he pulled the orange blanket over her.

"Are you feeling better?" he questioned, slightly worried about what her answer may be. "It feels good to be actually able to feel something" she responded lightly, with a small smile plastered on her face. "You got my present" he said motioning towards the necklace that hung from her neck line. "I love it" she replied as she lifted it into her palm and ran her fingers along the jewel placed on it. "It's beautiful." "I'm glad you like it, but there is something else I need to speak with you about" he stated. Arwen looked concernedly up at him.

"What is it" she asked. "I still need to speak with your father about it, but I have decided that I want to train with the rangers" he said, not making eye contact with her as he did so. She reached her slender arm up and lifted his chin with her hand, so he would look her in the eyes. "Anything you want to do, I will always support you in it. I will never let you be alone in your decisions. I'll for all time be there for you" she said very seriously but at the same time, lovingly.

"I don't know how to thank you" he said clearly comforted. "You don't have to, you would never have to do anything for me to love you" Arwen reacted.

The door opened drawing the two lovers out of their conversation. "Estel I need to talk with you" Elrond said, receiving a nod from the man. "Good night" he said to Arwen as he left and followed Elrond down the hall. They went to the peredhil's study, once in there Elrond closed the door. He motioned for Aragorn to sit down in one of the velvet chair and also seated himself in the one adjacent from the one the man took.

"I need to talk to you about this Terral" the elf stated, which confused Estel because he thought for sure they would be talking about his relationship with Undomiel. "Okay" he managed to say. He told the elven lord about all the events that had occurred and about who Terral was and his past and what he planned on doing. Also his decision to train with the rangers. The whole time, Elrond sat patiently and listened to the entire story.

When Aragorn was finally finished, it took the peredhil a moment to let it all sink in before he was able to say something. "I knew something like this would happen soon enough, I just didn't think it would be when you were still so young. This proves that you will have a very dangerous and hard life ahead of you, but I know you can handle it. It will be a difficult journey for you, which brings me to another point" he paused before he continued.

"Because of your destiny, you will not take a wife until your expedition has come to an end and there is no more danger. It will be to treacherous for her to accompany you on the road that is your life until the perilous part is done and over with. I am not just talking about Arwen, you will marry no one's daughter until that day is come" he finally finished and his words made Aragorn's heart sink, but deep inside he knew that his foster father was right. "Okay, I promise you that I will not take a wife until my destiny is fulfilled."


	24. chapter 24

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

~*Author's Notes*~ Thank you to all the people who have continued to review my story. You guys have persuaded me to keep on writing it. I think there will only be a couple more chapters left anyways. Probably around five, so lets get on with chapter 24.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 24

After the talk he had with Elrond, Aragorn decided to take a walk through the gardens of Imladris. It was always so relaxing there and he could be at peace with himself and with the world around him. 

During their conversation, they had came to a decision that Aragorn would leave to train with the rangers within a month at the most. He was looking forward to this, but at the same time he knew he would miss Rivendell and all the people that lived there. But he also knew that this was something that he would need to do. He had been informed of his ancestry a while back, and this was an important part of who he was, or at least who he was supposed to be.

*****

Elrond and Mirkwood's king were in the peredhil's study. "I am afraid that I must be returning back to my kingdom. I have been away much longer than my company had planned" Thranduil explained to his long time friend. Elrond nodded, he had the experience of knowing how hard it could be to keep matters in order.

"Of course, I understand completely" he said. "I will send some guards with you to ensure a safe journey" the elf lord offered, but was shoved off. "No, that will not be necessary my friend. Although I appreciate it, I still have plenty off riders" Thranduil objected. 

"Please, it will let me have a lighter heart. And besides I was going to send a party to the base of the Misty Mountains to wipe out the rest of that habitation" Elrond was almost begging, and there was a pleading look in his knowledgeable eyes, which changed Thranduil's mind. "Alright, alright. I accept your offer."

Elrond visibly relaxed and he let a small breath of relief escape his lips as he loosened up in the red velvet chair that he was seated in. His actions caused Thranduil to laugh with amusement. He knew how hard the past couple of months had been on his comrade, but it was always delightful to see how much you could satisfy him by doing the simplest things.

"Thank you, I will be very comforted knowing that no danger can befall anybody else that I am acquainted with" he said as he joined in merriment with his friend. The lord of Imladris finally was able to ask a question "when will you be leaving?" "I presume at first light tomorrow morning" Thranduil answered as the hilarity died down and was replaced with a yearning to return to their own quarters and get a good night sleep. 

*****

Aragorn was leaning against a tall oak tree as he stared up into the night sky that was filled with glowing stars. He sat cross legged on the ground and his hands were resting on his thighs. His eyes immediately rested upon Earendil, the star that shone the brightest against the black sky.

Aragorn started to softly sing Beren's song to the lady Luthien.

_"Namarie lisse kemen formenya vilya_

oiale almarea, an sinome caitane  
ar sinome nornorone tyelce olbarinen

undu Isil, undu Anar

Luthien, Tinuviel"

Farewell sweet earth and nothern sky,

forever blest, since here did lie

and here with bissom limbs did run

beneath the Moon, beneath the Sun,

Luthien, Tinuviel

The young man never got a chance to finish the song for another came out in to the garden and when he noticed he instantaneously halted the beautiful melody. 

"Why do you stop?" Arwen asked as she seated herself next to him on the dewy grass. "You shouldn't be outside, especially at hours of darkness. It is not good for you when you are still mending" he said worriedly. But he also wanted to change the subject, he was slightly embarrassed that she had heard him singing.

"Don't be silly" she responded nonchalantly with a grin crossing her pink lips. "The night air is good for my health. That's what my mother used to say" she finished. "Well, you might catch a chill, considering you're not all mended, and that might hinder your natural immune system" he said lovingly when he noticed that she was only wearing a nightgown made from a very light material. He took out the wool blanket that he had brought with him and he wrapped it around her slender shoulders.

"Arwen, I think we need to talk" Aragorn said breaking the calm moment that was passing between them. "About what you and my father talked about." It was a statement not a question. "Yes, we talked about some things that might concern you" he began uncertainly. She gazed at him and gave him a look, that seemed like she was silently telling him to keep going.

Her light grey eyes were staring into his deep green ones and her raven hair was flying carelessly in the wind as was his shoulder length wavy hair.

"He gave me some advice that I think I should take, no matter how much it will break my heart" he paused and it appeared like he didn't want to continue, but that's exactly how he felt. "I will not marry until the journey that awaits me is complete. I know my fate and what is waiting for me as do you, and I don't want you to be put in the kind of danger that is most definitely going to make an appearance in the near future. I don't want anything else to happen to you that could be life threatening" he said hoping that she would understand.

"I would wait an eternity for you" the Evenstar said devotedly but there was a hint of sorrow in her melodic voice. She put his chin in her hands and had an expression on her face that would convince even the most immovable of people that she was sincere. Aragorn knew she was, and he was so glad about that, although he felt so bad that he had caused her even more pain, but this time it was emotional pain instead of physical. None the less, it would still way down on her heart of gold.

She then took out the necklace that he had given her and held it so it was visible to both of them. "As long as I have this, I will always love you."

~*Author's Note*~ I would like to thank all my reviewers again. The fact that you ask me to continue means so much to me, I can't even begin to tell you. I would thank you all by name, but my computer is all screwing up so right now that is impossible. But you know who you are, so just know that I offer you all my gratitude and you will be continued to be thanked and thanked. Please continue to r and r.

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	25. chapter 25

Disclaimer: If I did own anything, you guys would definitely know. But unfortunately you can't flaunt what you don't got.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

~*Author's Notes*~ I would like to thank my reviewers.

~*LadySiri*~ I send you all my gratitude for all your praise and help that you have given me. Also for adding me to your favourites list.

~*Cerridwen*~ Thanks, I'm always worried that my 'romantic' scenes will end up being awkward or cheesy.

~*Asfaloth's Girl*~ I'm glad that you like it. Oh and regarding my short poem that you reviewed, I can't say that I didn't have someone in mind when I wrote it. :

~*ME*~ Aww, poor Elrond, but I'm delighted that you're enjoying how my story is going.

~*crazyLOTRfan*~ Thank you or reviewing, and please continue to. I'm happy that you like it.

~*Gionareth*~ Please continue to read because it means a lot to me. I will try to finish up as soon as possible.

~*Natters*~ I would like to show my appreciation to you that you have read my story. 

~*Rachel*~ I'm overjoyed that you have been reading my tale, I have never expected so many reviewers and it never ceases to amaze me.

~*Shagrat*~ I'm glad that you like it. I agree, Aragorn has been through a lot, but what can I say, I like to torture the poor guy.

~*MisunderstoodGnome*~ Please carry on with my story because it always helps me to get reviews. Thanks for adding me to your favourites list!

~*Kyliegh*~ I will try to add some more use of elvish language, its such a beautiful thing ain't it?

~*someone*~ Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

~*Elizabeth Goode*~ Thanks and I'm glad that you like it. I also like to read canon stories but I could never take the risk to write one. I would be to afraid that it wouldn't match up.

~*the ring of power*~ thanks for reviewing and I'm happy that you find it enjoyable.

~*grumpy*~ I'm glad that it's one of your favourites!

~*Eowyn*~ I'm filled with joy that you are liking it.

~*Maria*~ thanks for your confidence. It helps a lot.

~*Myfanwy*~ thank you for your criticism and your suggestions. It really does aid me in writing.

~*lizmybit*~ I'm happy that you like it.

~*Rhieannon*~ Please continue to read.

~*Alexandra*~ All I can say to your review is…WOW. I was never expecting such a nice review.

Now I have no clue if all of you guys are still reading, but it was important to me that I tell you all how greatly appreciated your words were to me.

__

How Can I Survive

Chapter 25

"Be quiet or you might wake him up" Elladan snapped at his twin as they moved breathlessly into Aragorn's room. The elf knew that the man was going to be leaving soon and for who knows how long, so he had to do something that was like what they used to do. He had to do something that would mend the rift in their once perfect relationship.

"He is going to be so mad at us" Elrohir whispered ever so quietly while he managed to close the wooden door that they had just entered. Dawn had just come so the two siblings knew that Estel would be out cold for at least another three hours, for he had went to bed late last night. But Elladan wasn't about to let him sleep the day away and he had dragged his brother into his idea.

"Who cares, he'll get over it" he said as h stifled back a giggle that desperately wanted to be set free. He picked up the red basin that he had set down on the orange and purple carpet that was covering the oak floor. The bowl was filled with fresh spring water and Elrohir walked over to where the royal blue drapes hung at the other side of the bedroom.

"On three" Elladan said, as he began to count up to the number that would start what he had planned. "THREE" he exclaimed, as his twin pulled open the curtains which let in all the bright sunlight that was being blocked out. The shouting from Elladan and the new luminosity that had just entered brought Aragorn out of his deep sleep.

"What in the Valar" he mumbled as he rubbed his eyes so he could have clear vision. But as soon as his hands were removed from his sleep wrinkled face, water came splashing down on top of his head and soaked his dark hair not to mention his clothes and his bed.

That surprise caught the man off guard and it definitely woke him up. He looked by the door to his room and there he saw Elladan and Elrohir laughing hysterically. The older twin was holding onto the doorknob for support, he was amused so much. Elrohir was covering his mouth and trying to sober himself up, for he could only guess what would happen next.

Aragorn glared at the two of them but a hint of playfulness was evident in his green eyes. He threw the blue blankets off of him and jumped out his cozy bed, and that started a high speed chase through the hallways of the palace of Imladris.

"You're dead, both of you" Aragorn shouted as he followed the twins down a winding staircase. Although the elves seemed to be gracefully floating down the steps and Estel was thudding down them, he was so close to catching them. "You're going to regret that you did that" he yelled.

When Elladan and Elrohir were downstairs they began causing an uproar down there as they pushed people out of the way in hopes of loosing the aspiring ranger.

But that they would be upset for Aragorn was right on their tail. "Come on" he yelled, frustrated that they had pulled one over on him. He was overly focused on catching them that he was oblivious to the things and people around him. He was running as fast as he could when he bumped into an elvish maiden who was coming the opposite way. The collision sent them both to the ground.

The person who he rammed into was in fact Ireth. "Uh…sorry" he said as he watched the twins get farther away from him. He wished he could continue after them, but he was to much of a gentleman to do that. "Really, I am" he said as he put out his hand to help her up from the ground.

She gladly accepted his help, and took the extended hand. When she was back on her feet, she brushed her orange dress off and ran her hand through her silken, twilight hair. "It's okay" she responded. "Are you hurt?" he asked kindly. "No, I think I'll be alright" she replied and her words caused Aragorn to smile.

"Well, I'm sorry again, but I have to go hurt Elladan and Elrohir" he joked, triggering Ireth to laugh. "Goodbye…Ireth right?" he asked. "Yes, goodbye" she replied, as Aragorn ran back after the two beings who had soaked him. He was still dripping and in his sleeping attire which made him flush when he had realized it. He had just had a short conversation with his beloved's best friend, and he wasn't even properly dressed. He decided that it would probably do him more good than bad if he got changed first before continuing his pursuit on the twins.

He made his way back to his quarters and closed the open door when he got inside. He picked out black breeches and a dark grey tunic, and he got dressed into his clothes.

When he was finished, he went back downstairs and went outside to look for Elladan and Elrohir. He thought that, that would be most likely where they were hiding. He looked for about a half an hour, but he couldn't find them so he decided to sit in the garden to relax for a bit.

*****

The twins had actually remained inside of the palace. They were sitting inside of the dining hall, which was practically empty save for about 20 or 25 individuals that got up early this morning, which wasn't a lot considering how many people were usually there.

Elladan and Elrohir were seated on a bench, for all of the elves that they usually conversed with were still yet to be awoke. They were still laughing over what had happened this morning, and frankly they were happy that Aragorn had knocked somebody over because it gave them a chance to escape the man's wrath.

Their laughter immediately ceased when they heard another conversation going on behind them.

"I don't understand, I thought you and Arwen were so close"an elvish maiden called Nessime protested. "That's the key, we were close. The funny thing is though, Arwen still thinks we're the best of friends. We reconciled and she actually thinks I did what I did for her safety" Ireth said coldly. "Okay, even if you're not friends anymore, he's mortal. Don't you know what that means?" the sylvan elf asked, Nessime was visiting from Mirkwood.

"You really don't get it, do you?" Ireth responded as she shook her head causing her dark hair to fall from her shoulders. It was obvious Nessime was getting annoyed by being left in the dark. "No I don't, so why don't you tell me" she relented as she brought her delicate hand up to her chin. "I don't plan to marry him, gosh no. I just want to make our poor little Evenstar suffer a little. Just make her see that she is not as perfect as she makes herself out to be, that someone could very easily take her place" the noldorian elf explained as she chuckled cruelly. 

Nessime's mouth was hanging open by the time Ireth had finished telling her plan. "That's all fine and dandy" she responded sarcastically "But what does this have to do with me?" Her words caused Ireth to laugh even more. "Do I have to explain that to you as well? I thought for sure you would know why I would let you in on my scheme" she said as an evil grin spread across her pale face.

Ireth was visibly perturbed that she had to keep explaining things but she still would say what she had in mind. "I told you my secret because I know your secret, and if you don't help me, I will tell everybody else your what you never wanted anyone to know" Ireth threatened and Nessime knew exactly what she was talking about. The raven haired elf's words caused all the blood to drain from her face.

"Well, what do you say? Will you help me or would you rather be exiled or even put to death" she questioned. Nessime paused not knowing what to say. She hated the fact of hurting somebody who had never done anything to her but the other option was the unthinkable. 

****

"Isn't there anything else, do you have to hurt her like that?" Nessime begged hoping to get out of this somehow. "No, there is no other alternative. I am sick of hearing the evenstar this and the evenstar that. She thinks she's so perfect and so does everybody else. It's time for them to see that she is normal like everybody else" she seethed. "Unless you want everyone to know-" "Okay fine, I'll help you" Nessime interrupted. Ireth smiled nastily when she was finally able to make the other elf agree. "Good" she said as she stood up. "You'll be hearing from me."

When Ireth had left Nessime dropped her head into her hands. She looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped when she saw who it was. 

"Milord Elladan, Milord Elrohir" she managed to say. "Um…I…oh Iluvitar" she said as her head once again fell into her awaiting hands. "We are going to have to inform our sister of what just occurred" Elrohir said solemnly but there was a hint of anger in his voice. Her head snapped up causing her shoulder length blonde hair to fly up. "I know you didn't want to agree, but you did and that's the point" Elladan said. "Okay, I'm going to say something to you and you are going to think I am just trying to save myself but I'm not" Nessime responded as she stood so she could look them in the eyes. Her actions caused her green dress to drag the ground.

"Arwen will not believe that you are telling her the truth. She loves Aragorn and she thinks that she and Ireth are the best of friends again. Word gets around fast and I have been informed as to how you reacted when you learned of Arwen and Estel's love. She's going to think you are just searching for a way to tear them apart" she told them.

The twins looked at her then they looked at each other and they knew her words were genuine. There was something about her sparkling blue eyes that told them she was truthful.

"Okay, then what do you propose?"

****

What do you think? Let me know.


	26. chapter 26

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks to everyone who is reviewing my story. Please continue to, as it means a lot to me. Regarding the question from *Steffi*, something will happen. Oh and I know I said that there would probably only be 5 more chapters…I lied. There's most likely going to be a couple more than that.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 26

"Okay then, what do you propose?" "Wait, wait. One thing at a time" Elladan said before Nessime could answer his brother's question, which caused both of them to turn their attention to him. "Obviously there is something that you don't want anyone to know, otherwise you wouldn't have agreed to help Ireth. If we are going to work together we need to know what it is, for if it could mean exile of even death, it is too important to just be shoved away" Elladan explained.

Nessime turned her back to the twins because she didn't want them to see her face. If they did, they would see it covered with shame.

"I can't tell you. I can't tell anybody, and I haven't so I don't know how she found out" the sylvan elf said, still not looking at them. The brothers made eye contact with each other, as both were very confused and they hoped the other would know what to do or at least something to say.

A small whimper escaped Nessime's lips and she rapidly brought her hand up to her mouth to ensure that it wouldn't happen again. However the other elves heard her loud and clear. Elrohir walked over to her, his burgundy robe trailing the ground behind him. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she just pushed it away and moved farther away from him and Elladan who had also come that way.

She finally turned so she could see them, and tears were evident in her blue eyes. "Maybe it is best if I get out of my problem on my own" she said as she tried to stop the cracking in her voice, but to no avail.

"No, she is our sister. We are not going to let Ireth get away with whatever she has planned. We will help you" Elladan responded. "No, you can't. You have to stay away from me, if you don't, I will only cause you more pain" she pleaded. "What are you talking about?" Elrohir questioned. "Just stay as far away from me as you can" she said as she ran out of the dining hall.

*****

Aragorn was still sitting by the stream when he was approached by another. Arwen sat down on the grass beside him. "You seem annoyed" she commented. "I am, at Elladan and Elrohir. They dumped a bucket of water on my head early this morning" he said as he shook his head. His words caused the Evenstar to laugh. 

"You think it's funny to get soaked when you wake up?" he asked as he playfully glared at her and then looked at the river they were seated near. "You wouldn't dare" she said as she stood up and backed away from him and the water. He got on his feet to and began to follow her. "Estel, don't" she warned. "You think I would do that. I would never" he replied.

He grabbed her hand and started to run back towards river, dragging her with him. "Estel" she yelled. "I'll kill you" she shouted. When they were at the edge of the stream he jumped in and since he was still holding her hand she was pulled in as well.

When she lifted her head out of the water she looked around for Aragorn, but she couldn't see him. She turned around an she saw his body floating face down into the water. 

"Oh no" she whispered as she made her way towards him and spun him around so he was looking up at the sky. "Estel" she said, while she checked for a pulse. When she had her fingers placed on his neck, she felt water spray her in the side of her head. She turned her attention back to his face she saw his eyes wide open and a huge smirk pasted to his lips.

She teasingly smacked him across his chest, however there was anger in her eyes, but it was easily washed away. "Don't you ever do that again" she said as she shoved him back underneath the blue waters.

When he surfaced he was still laughing. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her with him down into the sparkling stream. They both climbed out of the river and lay on the grass below the golden sun. Both of them were soaked. Arwen's lilac dress was clinging to her and her hair was drenched, whatever previous style she had, had now disappeared. Aragorn was no better. His outfit was saturated with water and it felt heavy on his body.

They were both still bright and breezy as they giggled and they were now holding hands as they laid under a tree.

*****

"That is so sickening" Ireth said to her companion. "I'm happy for them" Nessime replied, as the two stared out the library window. "I didn't think that you could feel emotions" the noldorian elf shrugged. "That was a long time ago. I am not like that anymore" Nesime defended herself, against the insult that was meant to hurt her.

"Still you know, you can't just change over night. You have to sometimes think the way you used to. You can't just turn around and say that you don't want to hurt people anymore after years and years of doing just that" Ireth responded casually. "It was over a hundred years ago and I haven't hurt anybody since" "A hundred years is nothing" the dark haired elf said.

"This conversation is over" Nessime relented in a raised voice as she sat up and walked out of the room.

*****

"Well, what do you make of it?" Elrohir asked his brother. "I know not. It is obvious she carries a heavy load of shame though" Elladan answered. "But for what, is the question" the younger twin replied. "I don't know about you, but I plan on finding out" Elrohir announced, as he stood and prepared to go find Nessime. "Wait, I'm going to come to" Elladan declared whilst he got on his feet and followed after his sibling.

"What if she doesn't tell us?" Elladan asked as the two elves walked down the hallway. "Then we will find out by other means" Elrohir responded. There was a pause before the older twin said what he had on his mind. "Don't you think we should find a way to prove to Arwen what Ireth is going to do, before we go and try and figure out this mystery?" 

"Who says we can't do both at once?" Elrohir said confidently. "Besides, I have faith that Nessime is doing everything she can to help us" he finished. 

Well what do you think? Do you still like it? Let me know!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	27. chapter 27

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story except for…Ireth and Nessime. The rest, Tolkien owns.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks to everyone who is still reading my story. You guys give me the confidence to continue my tale.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 27

"Open the door, I know you're in there" Ireth said in a very irritated voice as she knocked on Nessime's door. The sylvan elf really knew how to annoy the dark haired beauty. "Go away" she shouted from inside. "Do not toy with me, I swear I will not hesitate to tell everyone what you did. Then there would be no chance that Elrohir would even look at you ever again" Ireth threatened. Much like she predicted, the wooden door hurled open and Nessime was standing in the doorway.

"What do you want?" she asked. "I just came so we could revise my plan" Ireth said as she pushed the other maiden out of the way and came into the room. She sat down on red comforted bed and held a pillow on her lap. Nessime stumbled a little bit when she was shoved but she quickly regained her composure.

"Please, just leave me out of this. I don't want to hurt anybody" "It's a little late for that, don't you think?" Ireth hissed and then cackled nastily. "Besides, I never said there wasn't anything in it for you" Ireth continued as her expression became serious. "I know everything about you, which is why I was overjoyed when I learned that you were coming to visit. Look at you, you are not even close in beauty to match that of me or any Rivendell maiden for that matter. Do you think Elrohir even knows you exist? I don't. I can help you, I made a discovery a couple years back that would aid you very much" she finished and Nessime looked awfully confused.

"What do you mean you know everything about me?" she questioned, glaring icicles at her companion. "I didn't just make my plan overnight, I had to do a lot of research and talk to a lot of very interesting people, which is how I learned of you in the first place. You have led an extremely fascinating life, do you know that?" Ireth explained which only perplexed the other even more.

Ireth groaned before continuing her story. "I met a man named Jarden a couple of hundred years back. A truly brilliant man, unfortunately he was killed, and I have a good idea of who did it and why. The name sounds familiar to you doesn't it? He told me all about you, all about what you two did. He said you were in love, but I knew better, you led him on so he could do your dirty work."

Nessime was shaking and she was fidgeting with her hands and goose-bumps covered her arms. In her head she was cursing herself for letting this insane elf find out her past.

"Anyway, if lord Elrond and his family find out, I do not think they will delay in your execution. If they ever found out that it was indeed you who sent the group of orcs to ambush lady Celebrian's party, they will probably kill you themselves."

*****

Aragorn and Arwen were sitting in the dining hall, still laughing at one another's appearance, for both of them had yet to change out of their dripping attires. Estel had never seen a time when the Evenstar had looked less than perfect, but she still looked beautiful to him.

"You two a little old to be playing with water, don't you agree?" Pityon commented as he came across the pair. "He started it" Arwen said as she pointed towards Aragorn, who in return good-naturedly poked her arm. "You are as immature as you look" Pityon laughed as he walked away from them.

"Do you want to join me for a walk this evening?" Aragorn asked. "I would love too" she answered. "Then it's a plan, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to excuse myself, for I feel very uncomfortable in these soggy clothes" he said, causing a smile to form on his beloved's face. "That's a good idea, I think I will also alter what I am wearing" she responded, and they parted ways at her words.

*****

"Listen, I know that it is important that we find out what is going on for Arwen's sake, but so far we have gotten nowhere" Elrohir complained. He was extraordinarily upset at their situation because it was he who started them on this wild goose chase. "Maybe we are looking in all the wrong places. We have been searching Ireth's past, why don't we look up Nessime's history" Elladan proposed.

"I don't see…oh" he said as his brother's idea clued in. "There you go" Elladan jested. The two were sitting at a table in the library.

"But she is from Mirkwood, I don't comprehend how we will find anything" Elrohir said, conveniently finding another problem. "We will not look in books and such no, what we will do is, sneak around, talk to different people" Elladan concluded. 

"You don't think that, that seems…oh I don't know devious and underhanded?" Elrohir asked. "Well it's the same thing we were going to do to Ireth" Elladan replied bewildered at his brother's question. "I know but…Nessime is not trying to rip out our sister's heart." "It is for the best, do not feel bad" Elladan said as he placed a hand on his sibling's shoulder from across the round table.

Elrohir nodded in response, he knew they had to find a way to stop Ireth from breaking Arwen and Aragorn up just for the fun of it. It was just completely ill-fated that they had to go through someone so innocent to do so.

*****

"You wouldn't dare tell anybody about that" Nessime said. "That was many hundreds of years ago" she protested. "But her family will still be tremendously furious with you. The fact that you had no reason to do it even makes it all the more hilarious" Ireth said as she threw the pillow into the air. "But you know there is one thing that I am still unclear about. How did you come in contact with Jarden in the first place?"

"It is a long story" "And I have all night" Ireth proclaimed.

Nessime moved about the room uneasily as she prepared to tell her story, the whole story. She knew that there was no sense in leaving anything out because Ireth already knew enough to destroy her life.

"Okay, well it is true that my parents were from Mirkwood and I moved my life there many years ago. However before I was born, my mother met an elf that she immediately fell in love with, but he was a dark and mysterious elf. He killed for fun along side other elves, orcs and evil men. Nevertheless my mother couldn't change the feelings she had for him, so they married. I was born into a family that never stayed in one place for to long. Years later when I was about 1000, my mother realized what a mistake she had made, and she tried to leave with me. To get as far away from my father as possible. We were caught and my mother was killed."

It hurt Nessime so much to recall the events but it also helped to get it off her chest. She had never told a soul her story.

"I loved my father so much and with all my heart, that I listened to every word he said to me. I believed him when he said that my mother was trying to turn me against him. His ways became my ways. I develop into the monster that he was. I killed for fun just like he did, and we had fun and for so many years" Nessime was choking on her words, she was so humiliated and mortified of her former self. She ran a hand though her golden tresses and wiped the sweat the had clustered on her brow.

"Around a century ago we made camp on the borders of Imladris. All that was running through my head is what it would be like to plan an attack, to be the one responsible for countless deaths all at once but to get no blood on my hands. It was then that I met Jarden, a man who had recently joined our company. So you're right, I led him on into thinking that I would give up my immortality for him when I really had no intention of doing so. About a month after that, I learned of the lady Celebrian's journey and that they would be coming near enough for my to set my plan into action. I kept thinking about all the praise and admiration I would get from my fellow travellers. So I told Jarden of it, and I asked him to lead the party of orcs to ambush her" she said and she was breathing really fast as the events were replayed in her mind.

"When he returned and told me that the job was a success, instead of feeling proud, I felt horrible and guilt-ridden. Something that I had never experienced before in my life. People kept telling me what a great job I did and that I should be gleaming with satisfaction, but I couldn't listen to them, all I saw in them were tyrants and people that should be confined for the rest of eternity. My shame was finally catching up with me, I couldn't live on the dark side any longer so I left. But after a few years I felt as if my past was soon going to be discovered. I couldn't take that chance, I had made a real life for myself in Mirkwood. I tracked Jarden's party for days, and the days turned into months until I finally found their settlement." 

"When he saw me, his face was filled with joy, but I sensed that he had opened his mouth to somebody and told them my secret, and as it turns out I was right. I always carry a small dagger with me that can fit in my boot, so I asked him if he wanted to take a walk with me and as I suspected he agreed. Nobody else knew of my arrival and as far as I know nobody still does. But now I'm not quite sure" she said hinting an insult at Ireth.

"Anyway, as we were walking, I told him that I saw something in the bush so he went to go check it out. While he was doing so I climbed into a tree. So when he returned he could not find my location. When he was about a metre in front of my hiding spot I jumped down and I wasn't trying to be quiet so he turned around. He laughed thinking I was trying to scare him. I moved closer as if to kiss him, but instead I stabbed him in the stomach and I twisted the blade farther in to his body so it came out his back. His last words to me were 'why.' When I saw him laying there in a pool of his own blood, his sandy hair covered with sweat and his green eyes looking so hurt, I broke down. I collapsed on my knees beside him and I started crying. But despite my tries to rescue him, he died. I didn't know what to do, so instead of doing anything to help him and let his companions know, I fled back to Mirkwood. I have been there ever since and I know not of my father's fate" Nessime finally finished her story and she fell back into a wooden rocking chair.

Ireth applauded her which made Nessime look up at her. "Wow, you know I never realized how right I actually am. If lord Elrond ever finds out, you will definitely be put to death. And there is no way Elrohir could ever love you. I see the way you look at him, and that's all I need to do to know how you feel. You're in between a rock and a hard place here. You have to help me" Ireth stated happily.

"And believe me, even if Elrohir and his kin never find out, he could never love you. With all the beautiful maidens that throw themselves at him and his brother, you would be the last on his list. Don't deny it, look at yourself" Ireth chuckled offensively. "Sleep well" she said as she left Nessime's quarters. "Wait" the fair haired elf called and Ireth turned around to look at her. "You said something about a discovery" Nessime said. "Tomorrow, my dear, tomorrow."

****

Do you still like? This chapter didn't revolve around the main characters but it still explained a lot…I hope. Review!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	28. chapter 28

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own anything.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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~*Author's Notes*~ Hey to all my reviewers! I appreciate it that you all continued to send me all your support and good wishes during my self doubt phase. I am going to finish the story but sadly I won't be able to update as often. I have about a dozen school projects up in the air and I'm going to Ottawa in about a week for a graduation trip. Also I am being confirmed in a couple of weeks. Thus resulting in in lesser time to update. But please keep on reading it, I greatly adore reviews!

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 28

Arwen sat up from the chair she was sitting in when she heard a knock on the door. She opened the entrance to her quarters and waiting outside she saw Aragorn holding a bouquet of flowers in his left hand. There was a mix of roses, lilies, daffodils and tulips. 

"Oh, Estel they're beautiful. Thank you so much" she said as she took the flowers and placed a kiss on his lips. "Nothing is to good for you. Are you ready to go on our walk that we planned" he asked. "Yes I am" she answered as she placed his gift in a vase filled with water and placed her hand in his.

They walked down the corridors making their way to the exit of the palace. When they walked down the steps that led into the garden Arwen commented "It's a beautiful night" "Yes, it is. But no evening could match the beauty that was bestowed upon you" Aragorn replied causing the evenstar to blush.

They strolled hand in hand through the trees barely talking. There were no words that could fit in the moment. It was such a perfect night and no language was needed. Basically the only things that were said between them, was how much they loved one another.

*****

Ireth stood on her balcony watching the goings on below. "I think I could use a walk" she said to herself when she saw Aragorn and Arwen sauntering through the gardens.

She put her long raven coloured hair up into a bun and put on a lengthy red evening dress that was custom made for Arwen's homecoming, that she didn't end up wearing. "You will suffer Undomiel, you can try anything but you will suffer just like the rest of us" she muttered as she departed her room. She stalked down the hallways only to run into someone. "Nessime get out of my way" she hissed as she pushed the blonde elf towards the wall.

Ireth was going to continue to walk down the hallway but Nessime grabbed on to the sleeve of her gown halting her movements. "Where are you going" she demanded. "It's none of your business" Ireth snapped, pulling her arm away and proceeded to walk away.

Instead of following her Nessime stayed where she was. She didn't want to be involved in what ever was going to go down, more than she already was. She had a gut feeling that whatever it was, was going to happen tonight. She just wanted to stay as far away as possible from the events that were sure to occur. She went back into her room and closed the door.

She laid down in her soft bed and reality hit her right then. She was the reason the Celebrian was dead, and now she wasn't even lifting a finger to make sure that Arwen's relationship stayed alive. She loved Elrohir, but so far all she had done was break the hearts of his family. And now she was doing it again. 

"I'm a horrible person" she mumbled to herself and she rubbed her eyes trying to stop the tears that would indisputably fall otherwise. "What is wrong with me? I thought I was trying to change my life." she cursed herself for being so thoughtless. "Well, I am going to do the right thing for once in my life" Nessime promised herself. She stood up and advanced to follow Ireth.

On her way down the stairs, she bumped into someone coming up. "Nessime" Elrohir said as both he and his brother saw her. "Why are you in such a hurry" the younger twin asked. "I have a feeling that Ireth is planning to make her move tonight" she answered. The sylvan elf didn't need to say anything more. The three individuals ran down the steps hoping to stop anything that could break up the two that loved each other so much.

*****

Arwen and Aragorn were walking in the woods that surrounded Imladris. They were slowly making their way back to the palace. "Arwen, I am going to be leaving soon and I don't want to hold you back if you decided love someone else while I am gone" "I will never find anybody that I could love more than you" She could see the anxiety and worry in his eyes. They seemed to have a special bond that he had never had with anyone else.

"Can you just wait here for a second, I have to check on Asfaloth" Arwen asked as they neared the stables. "He is weary of people he doesn't know well" she said explaining why she wanted to go alone. "Oh, of course" he answered whilst nodding his head making sure she knew he didn't mind.

He watched as she ran off towards her horse. He leaned up against a tree and yawned as tiredness crept up on him. He rubbed the sweat off his brow as someone approached him. "Estel" he turned around when he heard her voice. "Ireth, hello" he replied as he turned around. "I didn't expect to see anyone else out here at this hour" she commented. "Well actually Arwen is checking on her horse, I'm just waiting -"

He was cut off as she leaned in and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He was caught off guard, and he tried to push her away without hurting her. Unfortunately someone saw before he could. "What are you doing" Ireth yelled as she shoved Aragorn away from herself, pretending that she was the victim. "What is going on?" Arwen demanded. She wasn't the only one who came at this time. Nessime and the twins also came up on the scene.

"I don't know. I was just going for a walk and I came across him. We had talked before so I trid to start up a conversation but he just pulled me to him and kissed me" Ireth said, putting on an act. She made her voice sound upset and unstable. "That is not true Arwen, I swear it. She kissed me" Aragorn said defending himself. 

Arwen shook her head in disbelief. "You expect me to think that? That my best friend would go behind my back like that" she seethed at him. "No I promise, I love you. I wouldn't do that" the dunadan pleaded with her. "Don't give me those lies. I saw what happened" Arwen shouted at him. "I'm not lying to you. I know what it must have looked like but I'm not lying to you. I have never lied to you once" he begged. "Well we all have to start somewhere" she said as she balled her hand into a fist and met it with Estel's face.

He stumbled a bit but managed to remain on his feet. He grabbed his nose which had started to bleed, for the evenstar had hit him with all her might. "Maybe we should all go back to the palace" Elladan suggested as he placed a hand on Aragorn's shoulder. "Stay out of this" Arwen snapped. 

All of a sudden Aragorn felt a shooting pain pass through his head. He felt dizzy and rickety. He massaged his temple trying to make the agony stop. But his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he toppled backward on to an un expecting Nessime. She fell to the ground also, ripping her forest green dress at the bottom. "On my gosh" she exclaimed when she laid her slender hand on his forehead. "What is it" Arwen asked concernedly. She may have been angry with him, but she still loved him. "He's burning up" the sylvan elf answered.

Elrohir, who was the most skilled healer in the group, dropped to his knees to check out the situation. When the younger clenched his eyes shut, the others in the group all knew something was terribly wrong. "He's had a relapse." 

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Well what do you think? I had to make something happen to Aragorn. Lets face it, he may be a dunadan but he ain't Superman. His injuries had to catch up with him sometime right? Anyway let me know by reviewing!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	29. chapter 29

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story and I'm not making any money on it.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks to all my reviewers. I'm still in awe that I have so many reviews. Don't get me wrong, I love it. 

A special note to ~*ME*~ A relapse is when you recover from an illness or an injury, and then all of a sudden, whatever you had strikes again. Well I hope that helps you a little bit. I'm not that great with explaining things, so this is the best I could do. I wish it will aid you in anyway. Thanks for continuing to review!

To the rest of my reviewers…you guys are the bomb! You rock!

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 29

"Oh no" Arwen whispered. She was barely audible, and that's saying a lot especially since her companions were also elves. Elladan leaned down and picked up the man that he knew as a little brother, and held him in his arms. "We have to get him back to the palace" he said as he started to make his way back the way that he had just come from.

The others followed closely behind him. The evenstar was right on his heels. She hated the fact that she was worried about him, but there was no way that she wouldn't be, and she knew that.

Ireth was doing her best to hide the smile that was forming on her pink lips. Her grin spelled out success and Nessime was disgusted with that. The Mirkwood elf was glaring icicles at her and in return Ireth just put on an innocent mask. The same expression that she had faked when Arwen showed up.

"You're disgraceful, do you know that?" Nessime said, whilst slowing her pace to walk beside the other she-elf. "Don't say that. I'm just…sneaky" Ireth laughed causing her companion to shake her head in repulsion and antipathy. 

"Don't get like that on me. I gave you a choice" Ireth said when she saw her acquaintance's actions. "Some choice. What you gave me was an ultimatum. Either help you ruin two people's lives or be banished or possibly killed" the fair haired elf argued trying to keep her voice as quiet as possible. "That's a choice. I gave you the opportunity to say no but you didn't, you made a selection." Ireth contended. 

Mirkwood's representative turned away from her travel mate knowing that this fight wasn't going anywhere. Neither of them would win this disagreement. The rest of the trip back to Imladris was silent. No one said anything, not even their fellow elves mumbled a word.

Their steps were heavy and it seemed like forever until they finally reached the palace. "Go get Adar, I will bring Estel to the healing houses" Elladan said to his twin earning a nod in return. When Elrohir was out of sight up the stairs, the older brother went down the opposite hallway which was lit only by torches. He opened the door and laid Aragorn down on one of the silky, white comforted beds.

"Arwen, maybe you should leave" Elladan suggested. "No, I will not leave." "I think both of you should wait outside." Together The two siblings turned around at hearing their father's tired, frustrated voice. "Elrohir is the most skilled healer so only he will be of assistance to me" Elrond said as he ushered his other children out of the room.

When the door closed and they were left on the side contrary to the one they wanted to be on, Elladan and Arwen both seated themselves on the bench outside of the houses of healing. Already on the bench sat Nessime and Ireth.

"This has been a rough day for me, I think I will retire for the night" Ireth said as she stood and walked down the corridor. Arwen rested her head in her hands and her older brother put his arm on her shoulders as a sign of support. 

"I don't know who to believe. I have known Ireth a lot longer than Estel, but I can't picture him doing that. Maybe it's just that I won't. He told me that he loved me and I know that I love him so this doesn't make any sense to me. I can't turn my back on my best friend, but now I'm not sure if my best friend is Ireth or Aragorn. I don't know what I'm talking about, of course I should believe Ireth" the evenstar concluded as she rose to her feet.

"I am going to apologize to her. This has probably been as rough on her as its been on me, if not more" she said as she progressed to follow the other female who had just left. Undomiel looked at her companions when they didn't reply to her. Something about their expressions told her hat she hadn't been informed about an event.

"What aren't you telling me?" she asked sternly. Again when they refused to answer she knew something must be terribly wrong. Arwen dropped to her knees in front of her older brother and grabbed her hand. "If I need to know, you have to tell me" she pleaded with him. Elladan placed his attention over to Nessime silently asking her what they should do, but she was just as clueless as him. "Please" she begged.

"Maybe that's not a good idea just now" the sylvan elf responded unsure about the reaction she would get. "No, you're going to tell me and you're going to tell me now" Arwen nearly shouted. Elladan used his free hand to rub the sides of his head. "Arwen…" "Don't try to shield me from the truth, I am old enough to know what is going on. Don't attempt to protect me anymore" she yelled at her sibling.

"Okay fine, do you want to know? Then don't get livid when you realize you would have been better being left in the dark." Elladan shouted back. He was known for having a temper and right now his sister was pushing his buttons. He was only trying to keep her safe from the pain of the truth and she wouldn't let him. The man she accused of being unfaithful could right now be in the grasp of death. No one would want to learn that and he was trying to stop her from finding out.

"Elladan" Nessime hissed knowing that if she were in this position she would also want to know the 'secret.' "I'm sorry, but if you knew -" "Then tell me" Arwen said more gently to match the tone of her brother.

"Alright, I guess you would have found out sooner or later anyway. Just you have to promise not to get upset at anybody" he told her. "I promise." That was enough for the dark haired twin to continue after receiving a nod from Nessime.

"Aragorn wasn't being disloyal towards you. He loves you and he was telling the truth when he said that Ireth kissed him, as crazy as that sounds. Speaking of Ireth, the reason she kissed him was to break your heart. She hates the fact that you are cherished and respected by everybody from Lorien to Mirkwood. She wants you to think that you are easily replaced but what she didn't know was that, that isn't true. Far from it. She also didn't realize that Elrohir and myself overheard her conversation with Nessime. She was trying to force her to aid her in her scheme." Elladan explained struggling to be as soothing and tender as possible.

Arwen was attempting to let all the information she had just learned sink in. This was the last thing she wanted. With a crack voice she stated "Then it's my fault he collapsed, I should have listened to him when he told me."

"No, no it's not your fault" Elladan said firmly. "He's right, you can't blame yourself" Nessime agreed. Arwen was going to argue but she was stopped when the wooden door opened and Elrond and Elrohir appeared at the entranceway looking very tired and sombre. Elrond spoke giving news that was a mix of good and bad "He will live, but he has fallen in to a coma."

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Did you like? Is it still keeping you entertained? I hope so, let me know by reviewing!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	30. chapter 30

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it. AU Non slash.

~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks to everyone who is still reviewing. Please continue to inform me of what you think of how the story is going. 

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 30

"A coma? No I don't believe you! You're lying to me" Arwen shouted as she attempted to push her father and Elrohir out of the way so she could get in to the healing room. "Arwen…" Elrond said as he softly placed his hand on her arm, stopping her from moving.

"I have to see him" she yelled as she freed herself from his grip and ran into the room. She ran to the side of Aragorn's bed and grabbed his shoulders, not trying to be gentle. She began to shake him. "Wake up, you have to wake up. I'm sorry" she said as a plentiful amount of tears started to pour from her grey eyes. "Please just wake up."

Elrohir looked at his father, not sure what to do. The peredhil shook his head to show that he too wasn't sure of what actions to take.

Knowing that something had to be done, Elladan went in to the space where his sister had a moment ago entered. "Undomiel" he said as he tried to pull Arwen off of Estel. "Leave me alone" she snapped. "This isn't helping anything" he responded a little bit more firmly. She looked at him and her face was covered with fear and sorrow. She let go off Aragorn and then ran out of the room right past the other members of her kin. She continued running until she was outside.

It was late and rain was coming down heavily. Once she was at the garden she just walked letting all of her lamentation out. 

"Arwen" she heard someone call her name and it wasn't either of her brothers nor her father, but it was Nessime. 

The evenstar turned around to see the other elf jogging after her. "Arwen" she said again when she finally 

reached her. The Mirkwood representative grabbed her arm very kindly. "He's going to live. He isn't going to die. It's alright" she said trying to be supportive. "What's the point of living when you can't even open your eyes" Arwen said as she collapsed to the ground pulling her companion down with her. 

The dark haired being continued to sob. Her violet dress was soaked and covered with mud. Nessime who was now on her knees, wrapped her arms around Arwen and embraced her. She was trying her best to be encouraging, for she had never been in this kind of situation before.

"Your father is the best healer in Middle Earth and he has great helpers including your brother. They will make sure that Aragorn will see light again. They will not let him be alive, but in an eternal sleep" she said as she drew away. "Even if you're right and he does wake up, he'll hate me. He was telling me the truth and I didn't believe him. No, instead I yelled at him and I punched him" the evenstar said, her words were filled with self loathing and hate of her actions.

"It's not your fault about what happened. He won't hate you, he loves you and nothing will ever change that" Nessime replied. "The person to blame is not you, but Ireth" she finished. Arwen wiped away the drips of water that were collecting on her porcelain face, though it wasn't clear wheter they were her tears or the rain. It was falling so hard and the two females didn't have any cover from it. Nessime's golden hair was drenched as her green gown.

"I would love to think like that but I can't" Undomiel said earning her a confused stare. "She's right. I should think more of other people. I am selfish and I deserve to be hurt." 

"Arwen -" 

"No it's true. If I wasn't self-centred I would have listened to Estel as a replacement for inflicting pain upon him. Undeserving pain at that. No I thought of myself first and of how I felt instead of giving him a chance to explain." she concluded, mentally smacking herself across her head for her stupidity.

"You did let him explain. And from what it looked like, it appeared as if he was lying. The only way you would've known was if Ireth told you the truth, which she didn't" Nessime shot back. The last thing she wanted was for Ireth to go off without any punishment. "I can not blame Ireth, I don't feel that it's her fault. Therefore it wouldn't be moral" Arwen said shaking off that suggestion.

"I don't believe you just said that. Of course she's to blame. Do you not recall that she is the one who kissed the man that you loved to prove something that wasn't even true? Letting her free without any type of punishment, that isn't moral" Nessime nearly shouted as she stood up from the ground. The evenstar followed her movements. She was extremely surprised that this visitor took this matter very much to heart.

"There is no need for you to get angry. This is my decision and I have made up my mind. Why do you even care anyway?" she asked. Nessime covered her face. She thought that somehow her shame and her guilt would be visible on her features and that was a risk that she was unwilling to take. "I care because I made a choice to. It means a lot to me that justice is always served" the Mirkwood elf lied. 

She couldn't say the real reason that she wanted Ireth to have a burden of trouble laid on her shoulders. She couldn't actually say that the only reason this mattered to her was because she didn't want anyone to find out about her past.

"Well I am sorry then that my views are different than yours, but I will not change what I have settled on. I do not believe that Ireth needs to pay for anything. I think she was right, maybe not in her actions but in her reason to execute her them." 

Nessime was infuriated by this. Not just because now there was a chance that her secret may be revealed but by the fact that it seemed like Arwen had no self love or respect for herself. However she wouldn't say anything because she didn't want to look any more suspicious than she already did.

"Alright fine. I may not agree with your decision but I will support you in it" she responded. "Thank you" was the reply that she received.

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Sorry this chapter was really short but don't worry the next one will be longer! Please continue to review. Oh and I have an idea for a story to write when this one is done. What do you think of this summary?

"A brother and a sister go in search of a new life, what they find is Middle Earth"

Do you think that it would be good? Anyway let me know what you think. Pretty please with sugar on top! Thanks!!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	31. chapter 31

Disclaimer: I don't…blah blah blah…I own squat!

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks to everyone who is reviewing. The conclusion will be here soon! Oh and by the by, I am leaving to go to Ottawa in 2 days so this will probably be the last chapter in about a week, unless I decide to write tomorrow as well. Anyway please stick with me 'til the end!

How Can I Survive

Chapter 31

The two companions walked swiftly back to the palace, as if they had only just noticed that there was pouring rain. They were too intent on making it back to shelter, that there was no room for talking. Besides the thunder was so loud, they probably wouldn't have heard each other anyway. 

When they finally reached the entrance, Nessime threw open the door and both of them collapsed on the marble floor. "What in the Valar" Glorfindel mumbled when he saw them fall to the ground. He quickly closed the still ajar door. The blonde elf sprinted to the other end of the hallway where he saw Elrond and his two sons waiting by the other way in. 

"My lords" he called, catching their attention. "Come quick" he said as he went back to the two females.

When they saw them, Elladan and Elrohir hurriedly knelt down beside them. "I'm fine" Arwen said when she felt her brother's hand on her forehead. She struggled to get on her feet but was held down. "You're not going anywhere" Elladan said firmly as he refrained her from standing. "I think they will be okay, if they get some rest" Elrohir said as he touched Nessime's pale face. "Their natural elven healing abilities kept away any sickness" he finished. "I have the same opinion" Elladan agreed. 

"That is good to hear" Elrond responded. "Please bring them to the houses of healing" he asked as he himself made his way down there. "Of course Adar."

Elladan picked up his sister and Elrohir carried Nessime, though there was much complaining about this. When the arrived at the desired room, the twins laid each of the she elves down on a bed. Within minutes, both of them were asleep. "Just let them rest the night and they should be alright by morning or mid afternoon" Elrond stated, as he and his children left.

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*

"Face it Estel, they don't want you to wake up. Arwen hates you, she doesn't love you anymore" this voice continued to haunt him, even when he was unconscious. 

Aragorn looked around him and all he saw was darkness, and it was blisteringly hot. He felt like he was ignited. "You're lying to me" he managed to say. "I never lie" the voice replied. As if on cue, an explosion of lights happened when that sentence was completed. It was so bright, that the man had to shield his eyes. When he uncovered them, in every corner of this place that he was in, they was bonfires and torches hung on each and every wall. Aragorn looked down at the ground and it was made of dirt and filth.

"You are the reason that all these horrible things are happening to such a good family" it cackled. "No it's not true. I'm a part of that family" Aragorn defended himself. "How can you say that when you yourself don't believe it?" 

Estel began to walk forward on what seemed like a path made up of rocks and stones. "I do believe it" he said as he continued on foot. Deep in the back of his mind, he knew that he was indeed being dishonest. "Who are you?" the dunadan demanded. "Keep on walking and you will soon find out" it called for him to keep going and he obeyed even though his gut instinct told him not to. Finally he reached what seemed to be a pedestal and he ran his hand down it's velvet cover.

He turned around because he felt eyes on him. When he twisted, he suddenly got pushed down onto the table and strapped to it by more than one set of hands. He looked all around him, and there were dozens and dozens of orcs surrounding him. And at his feet stood the person he never thought he would have to see again. He saw the person who he thought was long gone from his life. "Thartel" he hissed. "Good job" the older man laughed. 

"I never thought I would get to see you again" he said evilly. "This isn't real. You're dead, this is a dream" Aragorn said disbelieving that Thartel was indeed up and well. "Maybe so, but who says that you can't feel anything in dreams" he responded, snapping his fingers as a signal for the orcs to begin the torture.

Endless thrashings fell upon his unprotected chest and he felt spears going in and coming back out of his arms and legs. He could feel his blood leaving his young body. Torches were being touched to his already hurting skin and he could no longer hold back. Heart wrenching screams escaped him and tears flowed from his eyes. 

"Stop it" he yelled. "Daro" [halt]. The orcs guffawed cruelly as they kept on with this undeserving punishment to an undeserving victim. "My family does care about me" he shouted. Thartel's words were still clear in his head and he needed to defend himself.

"This isn't real. It's a dream" he bellowed, but his voice cracked as he did. He just about choked on his own blood, that was filling his mouth. 

"What's wrong with him Adar?" 

Aragorn heard Elrohir's voice in the back of his head along with that of Elrond and Elladan. "They do love me" he screamed, only causing the orcs to laugh even harder. 

*****

"Hurry, get me some athelas" the peredhil ordered to his eldest. "Right away" he answered, speedily leaving the room to get the renowned healing product. "Is he going to be okay?" Elrohir asked. "I am not sure my son. He seems to have gone in to a hyperventilating stage, but the reason still remains a secret. We have to wait and see" Elrond answered. Just then, Elladan appeared with a jar filled with athelas.

"Boil some water and then put the plant in it" the elf lord commanded. The older twin did as he was told. While he was doing that, Elrohir was advised to whisper soothing elvish songs to Aragorn. If he had fallen in to darkness, that was the best way to call him out of it. 

Elrond was putting some salve on Estel's chest to slow down his speeding heart. When Elladan was finished, he placed the bowl that was filled with the mixture he had just made, on the table that was beside Aragorn's bed. 

By this time, Arwen and Nessime had awoke. They were in the same room so they heard all of the commotion that had occurred. "He's going to live, right?" the evenstar asked her father. "At this point…I can not be sure."

****

What do you think? Let me know, I'm counting on it!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	32. chapter 32

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story…sob sob.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

~*Author's Notes*~ I am truly sorry that it has taken me so long to update. But I do have a defence for myself. First of all, last week I went to Ottawa and I only got back two days ago and then when I got back Fanfiction.net wasn't working properly so I couldn't upload anything. And then this morning, I got confirmed so this is the first chance I have gotten to write. I would like to thank all my reviewers who are reviewing. I didn't think that the last chapter that I wrote was at best quality, it was one of my worst chapters. But do not fret, I will try to make this chappie up to par! Hope you like it…

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 32

"What do you mean you're not sure? How can you not be sure? You're supposed to be the best healer in all of Arda, and you don't know whether he will live or he will die!" Arwen screamed at her father. Tears were welling up in her grey eyes but she was trying her hardest to keep them from spilling. 

**__**

"Arwen…" Nessime cooed softly.

"Do not attempt to calm me down right now! First he goes in to a coma and now he's going to die." "It is not for sure that he will pass" Elrohir said, trying to bring some order to this predicament. "What are the chances that he won't?" the evenstar asked. At this question, the younger twin turned away. "Low" Elrond answered. He knew that his son hated to be the bearer of bad news, as did he but he had to be the stronger one. 

"Low as in 1 in a 100?" 

"Low as in 1 in 10 000" the peredhil forced himself to tell his daughter the truth.

Arwen dropped to the marble ground at the foot of her beloved's bed. She sprawled her body on the floor face down and rested her head in her arms. She started to weep heavily and she began to shake. Nobody could see the tears that flowed from her eyes but they could hear her muffled moans and whimpers.

Elladan knelt beside his sister and rubbed her back with his hand. "It will be alright" he said to her. He could feel her trembling underneath his touch and it slightly frightened him. He, like the rest of Middle Earth's people, knew that one of the few ways that elves could die was from a broken heart. If Aragorn did in fact die, he would probably lose his sister as well. 

"Nessime, I don't mean to sound rude but I think it would be best it Arwen was just with her family right now" Elrond said, hoping that he didn't offend his guest. "Of course, I understand completely" she replied as she left the room. She was feeling a whole lot better so there was no worries that something would befall her.

"Everything will be fine" Elladan spoke to his sibling.

"How can you possibly say that?" Arwen questioned as she abruptly sat up. "Look at him. He is not fine and now I'm going to lose him. It wasn't meant to turn out this way. We were supposed to be happy together but something always rips up apart. This is all your fault" she declared as she turned eyes of ice upon her father.

"You just let him leave when he took off and you didn't try to stop him. And then when he returned, you just conveniently didn't try to look at him. Now, when his life depends on it, you can't heal him. You're doing everything you possibly can to keep us away from each other even if it means death" she shouted.

"That is enough. He is not to blame" Elrohir relented causing Arwen's attention to be set upon him. 

"Just stay out of this. Can't you ever mind your own business?" she yelled. "You stop it right now" he hissed. "I know you're hurting, but we are not to blame, we have done everything we can. It is not Adar's fault. Estel means a lot to us as well, so we are suffering too" he said more gently.

Arwen covered her fair face with her slender hands and shook her head. "I am so sorry" she managed to say in between gasps. "I don't know why I lashed out at you." "It is okay my daughter, I know you did not mean it. Sadness is a cause for many wrong things" he responded as he pulled the evenstar into a loving embrace.

The next few weeks passed without much change. Aragorn wasn't doing much better and Arwen was spending all her time in the houses of healing at his bedside. 

She hadn't gotten any sleep and it was obvious to her family and friends and even to anybody who looked at her that she needed it and she needed it badly. She was drained physically, mentally and emotionally. 

"Please come back to me" she cried as she held his hand. "Do not leave me, I love you with every fibre of my being. All my heart and soul. I can not lose you" she said. "I do not know what I would do without you in my life."

She sat back in the velvet chair that she had made her bed. She was endeavouring to hold on to consciousness for longer. The last thing she wanted was to drift off into a slumber. Unfortunately, she couldn't fight off tiredness anymore. She was so exhausted that when she fell asleep, her eyes closed. She finally gave into her fatigue.

Because of this, she wasn't awake when Aragorn finally come round. He ran his hand through his hair but when he made quick movements he felt a shooting pain up his back and in his stomach. Although it felt better than it did before. But the dunadan had no clue how long he had been asleep. 

He looked beside him and there he saw Undomiel. He was unaware as to why she was there for the last thing he remembered was her punching him in the face. He got worried though, when he saw her eyes shut. He grew up with elves and he knew that they slept with their eyes open wide.

"Arwen…Arwen" he shouted as he leaned over and touched her shoulder. She swiftly came out of her deep doze. She was confused as to why someone would need to wake her up so hurriedly but then her vision cleared and she saw who it was. 

"Oh Iluvitar, you're awake" she yelled happily as she jumped out of her seat. She wrapped her arms around his neck but hastily removed them when she heard him grunt in pain. "I'm sorry" she said when she released him. "It's okay" he replied, still bewildered as to why she seemed so gleeful.

She ran her hand down his cheek and smiled at him. Her face was full of joy at the sight of him talking. "I have been waiting a long time for you" she told him. "How long have I been asleep?" he asked. "Actually, you've been in a coma for about a month" she informed the man. An expression of shock covered his face and it caused Arwen to giggle.

"It's true" she declared. "Listen Estel, I apologize for my words to you a month ago. I was wrong in not believing you for you were being truthful."

"No need, no need" he said shaking off her apology. "I know what it must have looked like. It's okay" he responded. "Thank you" she replied as she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. 

All of a sudden, the door flew open and in ran Elrond, Elrohir, Elladan, Nessime and Glorfindel. They all rushed to the bedside, wondering what happened because they had heard Arwen's cry. 

All of their mouths dropped when they saw Aragorn up. "You're…you're…" Elrohir mumbled, to surprised to form a proper sentence. Seeing the normally relaxed elf stumbling upon simple words made Estel laugh heartily. "Glad to see me?"

****

What do you think? I hope this chapter was better than the last one. Let me know what you think!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	33. chapter 33

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks for all the reviews you guys keep sending me. It brightens up my day every time I read one. The story should be concluding by the fortieth chapter if not sooner. Now I know I've said this before, but this time I think I'm right LOL. This chapter will probably be really short, I'm sorry. Anyways please stick with me and read on…

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 33

Elrond rushed to feel Aragorn's forehead to see if the man's fever had indeed gone down or even ceased to be there. Surprisingly, it was in fact gone. 

"I don't know how you did it Estel, but you seem to have pulled through your relapse and your coma. Not many people have the strength to do that. You really beat the odds." Elrond praised him. "What were my odds exactly?" he asked. "About 1 in 10 000" Arwen answered, she was still holding his hand with her own.

"Are you serious?" Aragorn questioned, disbelieving that he did have the power and force to overcome something that doubtful. 

"Yes it is true" Elrohir responded. "You will change the world one day Estel" he finished. "He is right, you will make a great difference for good not for ill" Elrond agreed, and Elladan and Glorfindel shook their heads to show that they also concurred.

"Then everything is back the way it is supposed to be. Aragorn is better, everyone is on good terms, everything is set for us to go on living happily again" Arwen stated.

The others in the room looked at each other, all knowing that the evenstar was conveniently forgetting something very important. A factor that had played a major part in the events that had occurred within Imladris these last couple of weeks. Elladan was the most upset about this. He was always very protective of everyone in his family. Nobody ever got away with hurting someone in his kin and Ireth had hurt two of them.

"Not quite" he mumbled, looking down at the floor.

"You will not do anything, I have made up my mind and I don't want anything to be done to her" Arwen commanded.

"That is insane Arwen. Something has to be done, it is not right for her to go on without any type of punishment for her actions. You all see eye to eye with me don't you?" the older twin asked, turning to the others in the room.

"Well, I think that she should have some sort of sentence, but I also think that it is Arwen's decision" Nessime spoke up, earning a nod from Glorfindel. "I agree with that" the fair haired elf lord replied.

"I don't" Elrond said. "I deem it necessary for Ireth to receive a penalty" he concluded.

"That isn't reasonable" Arwen opposed. "This is my choice and only my choice" she said. "Normally I would agree with you, if you weren't wrong" Elladan responded, earning himself a glare from his younger sister.

"I am the lord of Rivendell, therefore I make the decision of what is going to happen in this matter" Elrond said. "She will be banished from all elven realms for a period of only one hundred years" he proclaimed.

"What? That is over the limit, banishment? Don't you think that that is a little rash?" Arwen demanded. "I don't" Elladan spoke up. "I am no talking to you!" Undomiel shouted at him. "I do not believe that I am being impetuous, no" Elrond answered the question that was meant for him. 

The truth was though, he wasn't sure if he was being biased since the victim was his daughter. He wasn't sure if the punishment would have been the same if it had happened to someone else. He wasn't even sure if there would have been a punishment at all.

"We will inform Ireth next morning."

****

Sorry that this one was so short, but don't worry, the next one will be longer! Hope you liked it.

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	34. chapter 34

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am not making any money off of this story.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

~*Author's Notes*~ Hey guys! Like I promised, I will try to make this chapter longer than the last one. But I do have some bad news. I am going to have to do a lot of research for my next story because I want to try and make it canon. It will focus on a character that I feel is overlooked, it is none other than Elrohir son of Elrond. I want to write the story of his life up until the fellowship departs from Imladris. So I have to find all the facts of his life which will take up much of my time leaving little for writing. Wait, I have an idea! Can you guys send me as much information on Elrohir as you can? It would be greatly appreciated. I don't think I will start it until I am finished How Can I Survive, but I would like to have the facts straight before I begin. So if it is possible, send me info! Thanks, I will be forever in you debt! 

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 34

"Are you alright" Aragorn asked his beloved as they waited for the others to arrive. They were seated on a bench in the front foyer of the palace. "I will be now that I know you're going to be okay" she responded as she caressed his cheek.

"You don't have to feel bad about what is going to happen. She hurt you greatly and retribution is deserved" the dunadan said. "I don't want to talk about that right now. There will be time for that later. At the present, I just want to bask in your company" The evenstar said as she placed a kiss in Aragorn's lips.

"I don't think I would have woken up if I didn't have you to wake up to" the man spoke. "That's not true. You're strong and you could have pulled through it no matter what" she replied. "Then I guess you being there was just a bonus or a gift from the Valar" he said as a smile covered his face. 'Perhaps" Arwen laughed. 

*****

**__**

Elrond, his twin sons, Glorfindel, Estel, Arwen and Nessime all approached Ireth who was seated at one of the round tables in the dining hall.

"Milady" Elrond started, gaining the maiden's attention. "Yes my lord?" "Me and my company" he said motioning to the ones who accompanied him "need to have words with. If you wouldn't mind, could you please come with us to my study?" "Of course" she replied as she stood up and they all left and made haste towards Elrond's study.

*****

"What is it you needed to speak with me about?" Ireth asked, though she already knew what it was, which is why she was glaring icicles at Nessime. But it didn't go unnoticed by the sylvan elf nor Elrohir who was keeping a close eye on her.

"Regarding what occurred approximately a month ago" the peredhil began. "I, like the rest of the people in this room, know what happened" stated. Ireth put on an innocent expression and brought her hand up to her chest. "Whatever are you talking about?" she enquired.

"Don't even act like you don't know. My brother and I overheard your conversation" Elladan spat angrily. The immaculate appearance faded and was replaced by one full of loathing and deceit. "Maybe we should call of the whole thing" Arwen said turning to her father, who was intensely watching the accused. "That's just like you. Always trying to gain everyone's love and admiration. And then once you have it, you use it to your advantage and walk all over them" Ireth hissed. 

"That is not true" Arwen protested. "But it is. Let's take Estel for example. I bet he didn't even make you apologize for calling him a liar and punching him" Ireth relented. "That's because I love her" Aragorn said in Arwen's defence. 

"Back on topic" Glorfindel said, stopping the bickering. "We need to discuss your punishment" Elrond said, taking over the conversation. "I have decided upon banishment for one hundred years" he affirmed. 

"One hundred years? That is utterly…eccentric and outlandish" Ireth shouted as she abruptly stood from her chair. "I don't believe so" the lord of Imladris retorted. "Well of course you wouldn't. She's your little evenstar, nobody can hurt her" the she elf replied mockingly.

"That is enough" Elrohir yelled as he too got to his feet. "It is not wise to speak to ruler of Rivendell in that tone" he warned. "Or what" she asked sarcastically. "Your sentence could be lengthened, you know" the younger twin threatened. "I highly doubt that. My 'sentence' is already cruel and ridiculous" Ireth responded. "That it is not" he shouted.

"Okay, fair enough, but you know what was cruel?" the blamed one started, as she turned and glared at Nessime. The Mirkwood elf's eyes widened, knowing what her companion was going to do. "What happened to your mother was cruel" she said as a wicked grin spread on her fair face. "Don't even start with that" Arwen cautioned her former best friend.

"No hear me out. You will all be interested in what I am about to tell you." she began, avoiding the hateful glares she was getting from everyone in the room.

"Didn't you ever wonder why Celebrian was attacked in the first place" Ireth asked. "I wish you would just make your point and not resurrect these memories" Elrond responded. "I'm getting to it" she continued, not at all regretting hurting the ones around her. "The only reason she was ambushed was to make a certain somebody feel better about themselves. You know who that someone was? None other than our visitor from Thranduil's realm" she declared turning to Nessime.

"Yes, our dear woodland friend. She made all the plans for your dear mother to be killed. She wanted to prove herself to her father and the rest of her companions, but unfortunately when it was done she felt terrible so she killed the one person who could have told her secret but again she was to late for he had already informed me" she said sickeningly happy.

"You can't expect us to believe that" Elrohir hissed. "You're just upset because she didn't tell you that we heard your conversation with her" he denied. Although his twin made a point, Elladan couldn't fully say that there was no way that it couldn't be the truth. Aragorn, Arwen, Elrond and Glorfindel were all speechless at what they had just been told. They didn't know what to think, but they wouldn't be like that for much longer.

"Wake up Elrohir! What do you think her secret was? What do you think the blackmail I had against her was? Isn't it obvious now? Don't let your feelings cloud your judgement" Ireth said, knowing full well that the prince was indeed feeling something for Nessime. 

"It's not true" he responded. "It's not, right?" he asked as he turned to the sylvan elf. She clenched her eyes shut and dropped her head to her chest. She looked up at him and tears flowed from her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. The expression on her face erased the need for a verbal answer. "I'm sorry" she whispered, but everyone heard her clearly. "Then she's not lying" he said disbelievingly. "You had my mother murdered for your own joy" he shouted as he ran to the exit of the study and disappeared out the door.

"Elrohir" Nessime cried as she fled the room after him, before anyone could've stopped her which they most definitely would have done. Neither of them told each other how they felt, but they both kind of knew the other's feelings which made this all the more hard.

When she reached him, she grabbed his arm stopping him from going any further. "Please…"

"Please what?" he demanded. "Please forgive you for killing my mother? Please forgive you for lying to me? Please forgive you for acting as if nothing had happened? Or please forgive myself for falling in love with you?"

****

What do you think? I put an A/A scene in the beginning so I hope all you fans enjoyed it. I also added parts of a less talked about not really evolved romance. I hope y'all liked it. Please again, send me all the info you have on Elrohir! Thanks.

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	35. chapter 35

Disclaimer: I won nothing so therefore I am making no money on it.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks to all the people who are reviewing my story. My gratitude is sent out also to those who gave me info for my next tale. Oh, and about this chapter, I don't think that there will be much romance in it but there will be much angst. It will focus more on Nessime's story and what will happen regarding that. I hope you still find it entertaining, I will try my best to make it a good chapter. But worry not, more romance is going to be coming most definitely. I hope you like it and that you keep reading until the end.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 35

"Please what?" he demanded. "Please forgive you for killing my mother? Please forgive you for lying to me? Please forgive you for acting as if nothing had happened? Or please forgive myself for falling in love with you?" Elrohir yelled at her.

"Then it's true, you do love me" Nessime said, but she couldn't really smile considering the situation. 

"Stop it" the dark haired prince shouted as he pulled his arm away from her grasp. "Just stop it. I thought I knew you and that's why I developed feelings for you but now…" the younger twin covered his face with his hands. He finally looked up at her and she could see tears streaming down his pale cheeks. Although he was trying hard to be strong, anyone who saw him could tell that he just had his heart broken. The person who saw this the best was his brother who had just come upon the confrontation along with his father, his sister, Aragorn and Glorfindel.

"But now, I wish that I had never met you" he hissed. "You can't mean that" Nessime denied. "I do, you better believe it" Elrohir snapped. She reached out and grabbed his hand, but he quickly snatched it back. "Don't touch me" he cried, as he fell to his knees down on the blue carpeted floor.

"You had better wish that my father banishes you or so help me I'll kill you myself" Arwen threatened as she ran past the sylvan elf over to her brother. 

Glorfindel silently walked over to the visitor from Mirkwood and placed his hands on her shoulders. "We have to conduct a judging for your sentence" he told her in a flat tone as he subtly carted her away from Elrohir who was presently being comforted by his family, even though right now they were all in need of some consoling.

"A judging" Nessime asked disbelievingly. 

"Yes, you have committed a very serious misdemeanour, Lord Elrond's family need to have some sort of retribution for the pain that you have caused them and the people of Imladris" he informed her, not at all regretting having to be the bearer of bad news.

"But I have changed and I'm sorry" she pleaded. "Save it for the connoisseur" he replied unenthusiastically.

*****

Nessime heard a knock on her door and she already knew who it was before she opened the door. So she wasn't at all surprised to find three guards standing outside waiting for her along with Glorfindel.

"I trust that you are ready" he stated.

"Yes, I am ready" she replied. 

They quickly made their way down to where the counsel was going to be held and Nessime's stomach was in knots the whole time. She was really loathing having to face the family of the elf that she had killed. Especially considering the fact that she loved one of them.

It was being held in Elrond's study, like most other important matters. Everyone was seated around a long rectangular table. The peredhil was seated at the head and at the beginning of the right side sat Elladan and Elrohir was at the start of the left side. Aragorn who was also there was beside Elladan and Arwen was next to the younger twin.

Others who were invited to the judging were Glorfindel, two other advisors to the lord of Imladris, and the three elves who had survived the attack placed on Celebrian's party.

The place across from Elrond at the opposite head of the bureau had been reserved for the impeached.

"We will proceed" the peredhil commenced. It was apparent the he was struggling to remain as impartial as possible but under the state of affairs it was quite impossible to do just that. After all he was judging the person who had had his beloved murdered.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" he asked Nessime.

"I am so sorry for the pain that I have caused you, all of you. But I promise you I have changed and if I could go back in time, I never would have sent people to kill her. I see now that it was wrong and I have regretted my decision since the day that I learned that my plan was successful. If I could, I would willingly take her place and be the one who died" the she elf said in her defence.

"That's funny, because I would do the same thing. Have you be the one who is killed, I mean" Arwen mumbled, but everyone heard her loud and clear. "Undomiel…" Elrond said, so his daughter once again became silent.

"What do you think your punishment should be?" the elf lord questioned. 

"Whatever you see fit, is the best sentence that could be given to me. I feel as if you and only you should make that decision because it would not be fair if I gave my input since I am the one who will receive the chastisement" she answered.

"Very well, I have been thinking of some sort of penalty to give the murderer of my wife from the time when she was killed. But seeing as how you weren't actually the one who executed her, your castigation can't be as severe as I would have hoped. However, given that it was you who set the whole thing up, you can't get away with only a warning" Elrond informed her.

"What will my reprimand be then?" Nessime enquired.

"Your punishment will be loss of all titles that you may hold, and banishment from Rivendell for a period of a 150 years. But because you are a resident of Mirkwood, Thranduil will have to see to further reprisal for your actions. You will be accompanied back there first thing tomorrow morning" the peredhil enlightened her.

Sorry that this chapter was short and didn't really involve any of the headlining characters but it was needed in order for the story to continue. The main people will be in the next chappie, so at least you have something to look forward to. 

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	36. chapter 36

Disclaimer: I own nothing and I don't claim to.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

~*Author'r Notes*~ Thanks to all my reviewers! Sorry this chapter has taken such a long time but I had my graduation ceremony and I just had to be there. Also the day after that, some parents rented a hall for a dance for the graduates. So I have been really busy. I know that's no excuse but I have to defend myself here. 

Oh and a note to Daydreamer. Nessime only got 50 more years because she is a resident of Mirkwood, therefore Elrond could not make the final decision. The banishment penalty that he gave her only applies to Rivendell. Hope this clears some things up for you. By the way, I am not sure if this is completely true, but it is AU so if it isn't, oh well! 

A note to ~ME. Thanks for your information, I really appreciate it. I didn't realize that when I started writing this, so since it is AU, I'll just make it so that she really was killed. But I extremely value the fact that you told me otherwise I could have made that mistake again. All my gratitude!

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 36

"My two sons and Lord Glorfindel will be the ones accompanying you home" Elrond told his once welcome guest. The peredhil detested the idea of sending Elrohir on this mission but he and his twin were the best warriors in Imladris and he wanted as much safety as possible.

Nessime cringed when she was informed of this. She hated to be around this family let alone go on a trip with them back to Mirkwood. She felt terrible and the last thing she wanted to do was lay more pain on the shoulders of Celebrian's kin.

"Yes milord. I am ready to depart as soon as they are" she managed to reply. 

*****

"I am so sorry about what has happened" Aragorn said to his beloved as they sat on a bench that overlooked the gates of Imladris. They were waiting to wish farewell to Elladan and a most trusted advisor. "It is not your fault that the killer of my mother was in my own home and we all failed to see it" Arwen responded.

"I know, but so much hurt and angst has been brought upon the last homely house and I can't help but feel that some of it was because of me" the dunadan stated.

"Oh Estel, you do not have to feel at liability. No one could have seen this coming, not even Lady Galadriel. The future always remains a blur until it is time, the right time, for the truth to be told. As much as it pains me to know that I have been this close to a murderer, I have to remember that I did not know, just like you did not know what would happen to Prince Legolas" the evenstar sad as she placed her hands on Aragorn's cheeks.

"Arwen, please don't think that I am trying to get your pity. I really should be the one comforting you, and not the other way around. I'm sorry that I am not as strong as you" he replied as he took her hands and held them in his own.

The evenstar was trying her hardest to be as powerful as her lover made her out to be, but it was taking a toll on her. She didn't want to seem melancholy when it seemed like the only feeling that her brothers had right now was vehemence.

"Estel, you are strong, otherwise how would you have made it through these last couple of months?" she questioned.

"I made it through because of you" the man answered.

"We will be getting on our way now" Elladan said as he and his twin approached his sister and the dunadan.

Arwen quickly stood up and embraced her brother as if she would never see him again. "You better be careful" she told him. "And you two" she said as she ran over and hugged Elrohir as well. "I want both of my siblings to come home unscathed. Or at least alive" she stated 

"Oh come on Arwen, you know that's a lot to ask of them" Aragorn jested causing everyone to laugh a little. Some more than others.

"We'll try our best" Elladan responded with a small smile still pasted on his fair face.

"I think Adar and Glorfindel are escorting Nessime here" Elrohir remarked breaking the silence that was his. "Well, they should be getting down here shortly then" Estel rejoined. 

A stillness and hush overtook the small group for whatever reasons. It was strange because usually when they were all together you could never find peace and quiet. Everyone was just so caught up in their own thoughts about the recent events that their minds were preoccupied.

Elrond and his advisor along with the newly banished, came over to the soundless party and broke the silence. 

"Are you two ready to go?" Glorfindel inquired. 

"Yes we are ready and waiting" Elrohir answered, with a nod of his fine head. 

He was deliberately not making eye contact with Nessime. He knew if he looked at her, all she would see in his eyes would be abhorrence and disgust mixed with hatred. As far as he was concerned, the elf that he fell in love with was dead and that would never change.

" That is good to hear because everything is set for you to make your journey to Thranduil's realm" Erond stated.

"We will leave now then" the blonde elf lord proclaimed.

"All speed to you and may you have all the blessings of Manwe to help you arrive safely" the ruler of Imladris wished them well.

"Good luck" Arwen shouted loudly. "And good riddance" she mumbled under her breathe.

*****

It had been days since the group of four began their trek to Mirkwood and not one person had spoken a word to Nessime. Although it saddened her, she couldn't blame them, not at all.

All she wanted to do is apologize to them again, if only they would let her. She knew that it was asking a lot but she just needed to say she was sorry. She wished that she could just die so she wouldn't have to put up with never ending guilt and sadness. She loved Elrohir and she now knew that he would never return those feelings.

__

Have you ever had someone 

Steal your heart away

That you'd give anything

To make them feel the same. 

__

Have you ever found the one

You dreamed of all your life

You'd do just about anything

To look into their eyes

__

Have you finally found the one

You've given your heart to

Only to find that one 

Won't give their heart to you

Brandy - Have You Ever

****

Sorry that this one was short and that it took a while. But don't worry the next chapter will be up soon!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	37. chapter 37

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into a depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

~*Author's Notes*~ thanks to all my reviewers and the reviews that you send me! 

A note to Maverick Girl. I guess that could be a possibility, but I won't tell if that's actually what is going to happen. "I'll never tell" LOL. Okay does anyone know where that is from or am I just strange because I remember lines from movies?

Thanks to LadySiri for your congrats! I appreciate it!

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 37

"I think we should stop and take rest here" Glorfindel stated as they reached the base of the Misty Mountains.

"That is a good idea, tiredness is coming upon me" Elladan replied as he removed his pack and relieved himself of the extra weight. The others soon after followed his movements and also un swung their bags from their backs.

When Elrohir had taken off his bag he settled down with his back against a large tree. He definitely needed rest and was going to take it.

"Sorry to disturb you my lord, but would you care to join me as we are in great need of firewood and I have taken it upon myself to find some? If it wouldn't be any trouble." Glorfindel said as he came the lethargic prince of Rivendell. 

"Oh of course. It's no trouble at all" the youthful elf responded as he got on his feet and brushed of his royal blue leggings. "Perhaps we should invite my brother as well" he suggested when he looked over at Elladan who was rolling out sleeping gear for them to lie on.

"I think that would not be such a good idea. In my opinion someone should stay here to keep watch over our camp" the elf lord said not directly looking at his companion.

"You mean you think someone should stay here and keep watch over Nessime. You and my brother don't have to tip toe around me on that subject you know. I am not going to get mad at you. Both of you knew my mother, obviously considering she gave birth also to Elladan and I know you were her friend. Nessime hurt us all and I am not about to defend her" the younger twin stated sincerely.

"I am sorry, you are right. I should have told you the truth to begin with, you are old enough for me to stop treating you like a child. Even after the many times I have told that to your father, it seems that I can't do it myself" Glorfindel apologized.

"It is alright, worry naught about it. But you are right, my brother should stay here to keep a watch on everything" Elrohir agreed.

*****

"How do you think they are making out?" Aragorn asked his beloved as they say on a bench on her balcony. He was sitting on one side of it and the evenstar was laying on the other with her head on his lap and she was looking up at the stars as she spoke to him.

"I think they are doing good. After all the experience my brothers have had on previous tasks, bringing one criminal to Mirkwood is child's play. As for Lord Glorfindel, he fought in the last alliance. That's saying enough" Arwen responded.

The man would have believed her statement if he didn't sense a substantial amount of nervousness and apprehension about her.

"You don't believe that do you?" he inquired.

She sat up and moved closer to him as the night winds blew her raven coloured hair and the stars seemed to light up her grey eyes. Estel was mesmerized by how beautiful she looked at that instant. He could see tears welling up but she was still the most stunning creature he had ever seen.

She looked into his eyes and it was as if she was reading his deepest and dearest thoughts.

"No matter how many times my brothers go on their ranger missions and no matter how many times my father has them go on assignments for him, I always think something terrible is going to happen to them. I can never get the image of them coming home injured or even dead, lifeless, out of my head. Even though I know that they are the best warriors in Imladris I feel as if they are always in danger" she admitted.

"Elladan and Elrohir have pulled through so many things no doubt they will get through this as well. Even when they had the problem of synchronized living, so to speak, they both got through it alive. It seems that no matter what is thrown in their path of life, it will never halt them or slow them down in any way. They both have been an inspiration and I know they will continue to be one to many other people. They will come home" Aragorn assured her as he took her hand in his own.

"Remember, they also have Glorfindel there to protect them" the dunadan jested causing Arwen to laugh a little amongst her whimpers. 

"I know, you're right, it will just take time for it to settle in. I'm like this every time they go away even though they always come back. I don't think that will ever change" she confessed.

"It's natural for you to worry about them since they are your family" Estel told her.

"I don't know what I'm going to do when you go off to become a ranger" Arwen said as she gave his hand a squeeze.

"Well Halbarad won't be arriving for a few days and I'll only be gone two years. That's nothing to an elf" Aragorn reminded her trying to lighten her mood yet again. He didn't mind doing that for her though.

"Just because 2 years isn't a long time to elves doesn't mean I won't feel every minute without you by my side passing by me" the evenstar said as she touched his cheeks with the palm of her hands. She had a huge smile plastered to her fair face.

"Oh, we like to exaggerate do we?" the man joked as laughter gained on him as well as his lover.

"Well I better be getting some rest and you should too" Aragorn noted as he and Arwen both stood up from the bench that they had been occupying.

"I'll see you in the morning" Estel said as he kissed her goodnight and left her to her room.

*****

"I need to talk to you" Nessime said as walked over to the twin who was left to watch over camp. 

"I am not Elrohir but he wouldn't want to talk to you either so just keep quiet and mind your own business and stay out of things that don't concern you" Elladan hissed very unsympathetically and insensitively.

"I just want to apologize and for the record, I knew it was you. I want to say sorry to you as well, I hurt you all. I am trying to do what's right here, why do you have to be so cold-hearted to me" Nessime demanded as she dropped to her knees beside where her companion was seated on a rock.

"Are you serious?" Elladan questioned.

"Are you serious? You want to know why I am being callous to you, I am being mean because you had my mother killed. And then you came to my home and acted as if you ere innocent, you pretended like you wanted to help us. You led my brother on and made him think you were someone who you weren't. You made him think you were a perfect wonderful cherub when all you really were was a manipulating wench" the older twin seethed.

"I love your brother" Nessime proclaimed as she stood back up.

"Oh give that a break" Elladan shot back as he to got to his feet. "Stop it with all of your lies. Haven't you got into enough trouble already?" he commanded.

"I am not lying and I don't appreciate you saying that I am. I would rather die then live and know how much I have hurt him" the sylvan elf declared

"We have the firewood" Glorfindel said as he and Elrohir arrived back at camp both carrying armfuls of wood.

"What is going on here?" Elrohir ordered as both he and the blonde elf lord wondered what had transpired during their absence but there would be no opportunity for an answer to be told for all of the companions would be needed.

"Orcs!" Nessime cried as a whole party of the foul beings emerged from the trees into the clearing that they were dwelling in. There had to be about 20 or 30 of them.

None of the elves had heard them coming because they were all occupied fighting amongst themselves and searching out wood. 

"I guess we're in for a fight" Glorfindel sighed as he unsheathed his sword with the others copying him. Even Nessime carried a blade, she had received it from Jarden.

They all went back to back prepared to battle in to the early morning hours until all of the orcs were dead and no longer breathing. They all had about 5 or 6 of the beings to kill and to the males in the group that was usual but to the Mirkwood elf it was slightly difficult. Because of this the others unwillingly helped her leaving her only 3 to fall.

Glorfindel quickly beheaded one of his opponents and stabbed another through the heart. He was doing all different twists and turns to avoid the blows that were meant to kill him. He speedily ducked so a blade could do him no damage. His golden hair was flying all over the place due to his graceful but rash movements.

Elladan was doing very well himself. He could not use his bow because of the close distance between him and the enemy so he was using his elven crafted sword in place of it. He had already taken down half of his adversaries by a slicing of the throat and blade through the stomach type of actions.

Nessime, since she only had a few opponent had already killed them all. The training she had received when she would travel with her father was finally paying off.

Elrohir was just about done felling all of his enemies and he was on his last one. But because his back was turned and he was preoccupied with a screaming orc he didn't hear a rather loud being approach him, which was still very odd. 

The unnoticed orc raised his blade and prepared to bring it down upon the prince's head but others noticed. Glorfindel and Elladan were to far to do anything but shout warnings that were heard by the youth who finally turned around. Nessime on the other hand was close enough to do something physical.

She ran as fast as she could to Elrohir and the orc that wished to end his immortal life. As quick as lightening she was when she put her body in front of the one she loved and underneath the incoming blade that went deep in her chest and out her back causing an expression of pain to erupt on her beautiful face. She fell to the ground and held her new wound with her hands. Elrohir now knowing the danger used his sword to decapitate the orc.

The other elves hastily sprinted over to them. The younger twin knelt down beside Nessime to check her abrasion.

"It's fatal isn't it?" she asked in a cracking voice as sparkling tears fell down her pale face. "Isn't it?"

Elrohir just nodded, because even though she had had his mother murdered he wasn't a monster and he couldn't gloat about what happened. She had saved his life. "I am sorry" he said as tears threatened to spill from his intense eyes.

"Don't be, it is not your fault" she responded as she shook her head. Elrohir felt her face and it was as cold as ice.

"Thank you" he managed to say.

"You don't have to thank me, I just did what I thought was right. I let your mother be killed, I couldn't let the same thing happen to you, not when I could have prevented it from happening. I know that I could have never been happy in this life anyway so there was no point in me living it. You on the other hand have everything to live for. The only way I could have been joyful was to be the one whom you give your heart to and I know now that I ruined my chances of that many a year ago. I would rather die than to live with the knowledge that I gave you grief of any sort."

Elrohir was doing all that he could so he wouldn't spill a tear. He bit down on his lower lip so hard that he could taste his blood on his tongue. 

"Please do not be upset I never meant for my words to upset you. I just needed you to know that I am sorry and that I love you" Nessime whispered, and after she spoke those last words, her breathing ceased.

****

Hope you liked this chappie. Halbarad is someone who came to help Aragorn with his 'ranger duties and training.' 

****

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	38. chapter 38

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it. AU

****

~*Author's Notes*~ Thanks to all my reviewers! I appreciate all your reviews and support. Sadly, this chapter may be slightly short. Sorry!

LadiSiri ~ I hope you enjoy this chapter. Have lots of fun in Italy!

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 38

"She's gone" Elrohir mumbled solemnly after he felt for a pulse. 

"Perhaps seeing as how we are closer to Imladris than Mirkwood we should head back there instead of going further east" Glorfindel suggested. 

"That is a good idea, with all the dangers in Thranduil's realm we should be more prepared and have more people with us especially if we carry the deceased" Elladan agreed with a nod of his raven head. "I concur" Elrohir stated slightly surprising his companions. He was trying to put up a strong front but they could both see the pain and anguish written all over his fair features.

"Are you okay?" the older twin asked his brother.

"Of course, I am fine" he answered somewhat defensively. "We should get going now, we are a few days away and we need to arrive back as soon as possible" he said quickly changing the subject. 

"Yes you are right" Glorfindel responded as he brushed away some of his golden hair away from his eyes. The blonde elf lord then picked up the limp form of a very brave Nessime who in the end did achieve what she wanted. She got to leave the world that would no longer accept her and she wouldn't have to do the one thing that she would dread the most. Live with the knowledge that she hurt the person that she loved more than life itself.

__

I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you dreamed of

And I wish to you joy and happiness

But above all this I wish to you love

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

"Don't try to hide it from me that you are indeed hurting" Elladan said as he slowed down his pace so he could walk beside a very distant Elrohir.

"Alright fine, I am upset. Why would she do that when she could have just shoved me out of the way and we both could have made it out alive?" he questioned. 

"The truth is she actually could have done that and come away without even a scratch. But she didn't want to go on living her life, she wanted to die" Elladan told him. 

"What are you talking about? Why in the Valar would she want to end her life?" Elrohir demanded.

"She didn't want to live anymore because she knew that you would never return the love that she had for you. She told me that she would rather die than go on living knowing that she caused you any grief" the heir to Rivendell proclaimed.

"So she sacrificed herself because I didn't love her anymore? Can I tell you something?" the younger twin asked.

"Sure, anything."

"In reality no matter how much I tried, I could never erase all the feeling of love that I had for her. And I don't know why but even though she had our mother executed I was always trying to make up excuses for her in my head. Thinking of ways so it wouldn't be her fault, but it was, which is why I told myself that all I had left for her was hatred. I know because I still have love for her that makes me a bad person and a shame to our family " he admitted.

"That doesn't make you a bad person. If you carry true love for a person even a person like her who has committed a hateful crime, you can not just forget all the tenderness and affection you feel for them, even if they have wronged you in the most unforgettable way imaginable. I am not ashamed of you and neither is the rest of our kin" Elladan said and his words were truly sincere.

"Thank you" Elrohir said softly as he pulled his brother into an embrace. "You don't know what that means to me" he whispered.

*****

"Ah Halbarad you have arrived. And I see you have brought a companion" Elrond jested as he, Arwen and Aragorn came to the gates of Imladris to greet his new guests.

"It's been a while since I have visited you my friend" Gandalf said as he patted the peredhil on the shoulder.

"I met him on the way here to get Estel" Halbarad acclaimed.

"Actually speaking of that" Aragorn broke in "I was hoping we could wait to depart until Elladan and Elrohir return back home" the young man enquired. 

"Oh of course, that would be no trouble at all. Where are those fine rangers off to?" Halbarad asked, his curiosity piqued as they walked into the palace and took seats on the benches in the front foyer of the beautiful elven crafted castle.

Aragorn exchanged quick glances with his beloved and with his foster father before Elrond himself answered the question.

"My sons along with Lord Glorfindel are making their way to Mirkwood. They are escorting a young she elf back there due to…a crime, a serious crime that she committed and reprimand is in need" the peredhil offered still not convincing the grey wizard whom he had know for many a year.

"My friend?" Gandalf questioned.

"We received information that she was the one who had Lady Celebrian killed. She ordered it to happen" Elrond proclaimed.

An awkward silence took over the small group. None of them could think of anything to say to what they had just been told. And although Aragorn and Arwen already knew of this, it was still a rather delicate topic for them to discuss.

"I am not sure whether to consider that good or bad news" Halbarad mumbled finally breaking the quiet that had settled in upon them.

"It is good news. We are finally able to have some justice and closure on something that has been haunting my family for years" Elrond assured the man.

"My brothers should be coming back within 2 weeks" Arwen said trying to get off the subject of her mother. She didn't like talking about that theme, it was to hurtful for her. "Milord" Pityon called as he ran into the foyer. "What is it Pityon?" Elrond questioned the older human. 

"Your sons and lord Glorfindel have arrived."

**** ****

Hope you guys all liked this chapter! Again, sorry that it was so short.

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	39. chapter 39

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story except for my original characters which in no way match the brilliance of those that belong to Tolkien.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into a depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

****

~*Author's Notes*~ sorry that this chapter took awhile, I have just been super busy. Okay that is a lie, but I really haven't had much time to write so hopefully this chapter will make up for my tardiness. Hope y'all enjoy it!

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 39

"Pityon what in Iluvitar's name are you speaking of? Glorfindel and my sons are traveling to Mirkwood, there is no possible way that they could have already made the trip" Elrond protested.

"But we are back father" Elladan said as he came in to the front foyer of his father's kingdom. "Elladan" Arwen responded gleefully as she ran over to her brother and gave him a hug welcoming him back home.

She noticed the look of sadness on his as did everybody else and she immediately wondered what could have transpired and brought him home so early.

"What happened?" Aragorn questioned hesitantly.

"We have not all returned, one of us was slain and forced us to head back here instead of making the voyage to Thranduil's realm as was planned."

Expressions of terror and absolute horrification spread over all the faces of all who stood with the oldest twin, even Gandalf seemed speechless as to what to say to the information that had just been told to them.

"Elrohir" the evenstar whispered instantly thinking that it was her sibling that was killed. "No it wasn't Elrohir nor was it Lord Glorfindel whose life was cut short. Neither of their lives were taken from them, however it was an immortal who was slaughtered" Elladan told them.

"Then it was her" Estel replied softly. "Indeed it was" the peredhil agreed.

"Then may I ask where your brother is hiding himself at this time?" Halbarad inquired. "He is in his room, Lord Glorfindel laid the body in the houses of healing until we can put a team together to safety take it to Mirkwood so she can have a burial" Elladan responded.

"Maybe someone should talk to him, Elrohir I mean" Arwen suggested.

"That is a good idea, he must be hurting so much" Aragorn concurred. "I will go" the man offered only to be waved down by his foster father.

"I will talk to him, he is my son and I would like to have a chance to speak with him" the elven lord explained. "Yes, of course. I am sorry" the dunadan apologized.

"You three go and do something to keep yourselves occupied, I don not want to learn that you have been causing havoc around here especially considering that we have guests" Elrond jested. He realized how much trauma his family had suffered and all he wanted was for their lives to get better. So far all they had all been led from bad to worse, and it happened only over a period of a couple months. He didn't know how much more they could endure, in fact he didn't know how much he could endure.

"I think I will just take leave and perhaps sleep for a bit as I have been traveling for some time now" Elladan said to his siblings and also to Gandalf and Halbarad. "Please do not think I am being rude."

"Of course not young one, go on take some rest" the Istar ushered him down the hall.

"Halbarad, would you like to join me for a walk around the property?" Gandalf asked when he came back to the front of the palace. "Sounds like a good idea my friend" the man responded as they left the two lovers alone.

"That sounded like a good idea, would like to go outside and perchance wander in the gardens?" Aragorn asked his beloved. "I would love too" she declared as they locked arms and made way for the exit towards the back of the last homely house.

*****

Elrohir heard a knock on his door and he instantaneously knew that it was someone to check up on him.

He sat up out of a wooden chair that was beside a window that overlooked almost all of Imladris. It was a beautiful view and he always went to that window whenever he felt sad or emotionally drained, it was very relaxing when he sat watching the trees sway in the wind and he could feel the breeze on his fair face and blowing his twilight hair.

He walked over to the mahogany door and quickly opened it revealing his father standing there with a worried look on his ageless face.

He left it and then went back and sat down once again leaving the door ajar. 

"I am just concerned about you my son, I know you lost someone you cared about even if you won't admit to it. I know you felt for her even if your feelings were not as strong as they once were. You can not keep your feelings bottled up inside of you, it is not healthy for you" Elrond warned.

"I have nothing to say therefore I am not keeping anything bottled up inside of me" the younger twin shot back, still not making eye contact with the other in his room.

The peredhil brought over another chair that was at the bedside and he placed it next to the one that his child occupied.

"You can talk to me. I am not going to disown you because of something that you could not have helped, love is something that just happens for no particular reason. It is just a beautiful, wonderful thing that some people are lucky enough to experience in their life times" the lord put in plain words.

"How could I have loved someone that had my own mother murdered? How could I have loved such a horrible person? Does that make me as bad as her, or worse?" Elrohir begged to know finally locking eyes with his adar.

"You are good person and no matter who you love you will always remain a good person. You loved her because you didn't know the full details of her life. But tell me something, do you still love her even though she has passed and you know the truth about her?" Elrond inquired.

"Of course I don't love her anymore" he responded but he looked at his father and he knew that the peredhil could tell he was lying. 

"I love her like I did when I first met her."

"And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I do not want you to feel bad over something like that, no matter what you are my son and I will always love you" Elrond proclaimed.

*****

"How do you think Elrohir is faring?" Aragorn asked as he and Arwen walked hand in hand through the endless rows of flowers and greenery that made Rivendell look so amazingly stunning.

"My father will make sure that he gets through everything in the best condition. You made it past everything that was thrown in your way and you are finally happy, I know he will be able to do it as well. You could be an inspiration to many many people" Arwen praised the man whom she was willing to give her immortality up for.

"Why thank you" Estel responded as his cheeks slightly reddened.

"Oh am I embarrassing you?" the evenstar jested as she ran her index finger down his cheek.

"No, I am just flattered" Aragorn laughed heartily. 

"Sure you are" Arwen joked as she wrapped her arms around his neck and they shared an effortless and natural kiss.

****

Sorry that this one was so short! The story is almost coming to an end. I hope you will like the conclusion which will be here very shortly!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	40. chapter 40

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.

Summary: AU After the death of his friend, Aragorn falls into a depression and there may only be one person who can draw him out of it.

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~*Author's Notes*~ Well readers it is finally here! The conclusion to this story is about to make itself known. This will be the fortieth and final chapter to my tale. I hope that it will meet all of the expectations out there. After you read, please let me know what you didn't really like and of course what you did like. Thanks for sticking with me all this time!

A big welcome back to LadySiri! I hope you enjoyed your trip.

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How Can I Survive

Chapter 40

Aragorn awoke to a knock on his bedroom door. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and then quickly bid his visitor to enter, though he already had an idea of who it was. He was true to his guess, it was indeed his foster father.

Lord Elrond walked over to the blue curtains that hung over the man's windows and he threw them open revealing a world of light.

"I am afraid there is no more time for sleep, you must get ready as you have a long day ahead of you. In fact you have a long two years ahead of you" the elf corrected himself. "Halbarad was up at dawn this morning under the impression that you would be as well. He wants to get an early start."

"I am sorry" Aragorn sighed as he got to his feet and removed black breeches and a matching tunic from his mahogany dresser. "I guess part of me was just sort of dreading this day" he admitted.

"Whatever for?" Elrond inquired whilst he placed a comforting hand on the other's shoulder. "I was under the impression that training to become a ranger was what you wanted to do."

"And it is, I want to be a ranger, more than anything."

"Then why is it so upsetting for you to know that today is the day that your preparation will start" the peredhil questioned.

"Because…because my life and my family is here in Imladris. I know two years isn't long to those who belong to the elven race but it is to me. I just don't know if I will be able to last that long without seeing you and Elladan and Elrohir and…and Arwen" Aragorn confessed.

"I see. Estel, you are an adult, at least in the eyes of your people. You are a grown man. But you have survived things much harder than leaving the safety of your home with a trusted friend. I know you can do this, and I know you will make us, all of us proud" the elven lord assured him. "Now get dressed and meet me down in the dining hall."

"Alright already" Aragorn laughed.

*~*~*~*

"He is coming down" Elrond said as he entered the dining hall and saw his three children and his two guests all awaiting to hear what he would say.

"Is he okay?" Elladan asked.

"He is fine, absolutely fine. He just has how do you say, cold feet" Elrond chuckled.

"That is to be expected, I was a little hesitant as well when I first began my training" Halbarad responded.

"As were we" Elrohir spoke up, motioning towards himself and his twin brother whom he stood beside. "But he will realize that it is too much of a good experience and a smart choice and he will not be able to deny himself of it."

"I am sure he will" Gandalf agreed.

"Am I a good conversation topic?" Aragorn jested as he came to where his friends were discussing him.

"Yes, I must say that you are" Arwen joked as she ran her hand own his arm. "Come, come and have something to eat" the evenstar continued as she pulled her beloved toward a table that was filled with lots of delicious food. There were fruits, bread, fish and much much more.

"You can't expect me to eat all of this" the man protested as he was made to sit down. "Especially not for breakfast."

"No, of course not" Elladan replied. "The leftovers you and Halbarad will take with you."

The remark caused Aragorn to laugh. "And I thought I was making to big a deal out of my leaving. You can not even let me eat in peace. You just have to relax, I have survived things much harder than leaving my home with a trusted friend."

Elrond smiled at his foster son's words. He knew his words were just thrown back at him. "Yes, you are right. We should be able to allow you to do what you would like to do on your last day here before you leave."

The others nodded in agreement. They wanted to make sure that Aragorn was happy. Elladan and Elrohir remembered back to when they were getting ready to depart. It annoyed them so much when their father fussed over every little thing.

"Thank you."

*****

Aragorn decided to take a walk through the gardens. It always helped to calm his spirit when he was worried about any particular thing that would upset him.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard two sets of footsteps coming up from behind him. Since he had grown up around elves he had learned how to recondition his senses so they were almost as accurate as his brothers.

"If you have your minds set on playing another prank on me, you are sadly mistaken" the man stated, though there was good humour in his voice which told the brothers that he was in a good mood.

"We would never" Elladan responded, as if he was hurt.

Estel turned around and saw the older twin set down a bucket of spring water on the ground.

"Is that so?" Aragorn laughed.

"Listen, I know we have had some rocky times over these last couple of months, and I just want you to know that I will always love like you are my brother, as strange as that may be" Elrohir said as his expression turned to a serious one as he walked closer to the man.

"I know you will. And like I told you before, I feel the same way. I love you, both of you" the dunadan replied as he wiped away the tears that were beginning to fall.

Even Elrohir and Elladan were starting to cry. 

"We have been through some rough periods and we have all gotten through them. I know that I was a jerk to you before, but I promise that will never happen again. I just want you to know that no matter what other obstacles are set out for our family, they will never tear us apart again" Elladan stated as his voice crackled a little.

"Come on you guys, it is not like I'm leaving forever, you know that. I will be back before you even know I am gone" Aragorn guaranteed, even though part of him believed he was only trying to convince himself.

"Yeah, we probably look like a bunch of pansies standing here crying" Elrohir chortled.

"No doubt about that. But still, you have to remember that we will always, through thick and thin, good times and bad times, be your brothers" Elladan proclaimed as he wiped away a tear that fell from one of his intense grey eyes.

"I will never forget it" Aragorn responded.

All three of them then saw something that quickly caught their attention. Arwen was approaching them with a solemn expression written all over her fair features.

"We'll just go back in the palace" Elladan offered as he patted the man on the back. Both the twins then made their way back inside.

Aragorn walked over to meet his lover. 

"Arwen…" he whispered but he was cut off when she leaned in and kissed him. 

"I love you so much" she murmured as she pulled away from him slowly.

"And I love you as well. You are the love of my life. As long as you wear this necklace" he started as he motioned to the chain that hung from her neck. "you will know that I will always adore you" he finished quietly as he placed his arms on either of her shoulders.

"I know you will do so well. You will be such a motivation for others to follow their dreams as well" Undomiel told him.

"Being a ranger is not my dream, it is a choice that I have made. My real dream has already come true…I've met you. All my life I have hoped that some day I would meet my soul mate and that we would be happy together. You, and you alone have made that fantasy a reality and I will be forever in your debt for that" the dunadan announced.

His words caused a smile to cross Arwen's lips as she gazed deeply in his eyes, as if reading his thoughts.

"You were my dream too" the evenstar declared as a water fall of tears fell from her beautiful eyes.

**__**

I used to think that dreams were just

For sentimental fools

And I'd never find someone

Who'd give their love so true

But I knew the very minute

Couldn't live my life without you in it

And now I want the whole wide world to know

I'd go anywhere for you

Anywhere you asked me to

I'd do anything for you

Anything you asked me to

Your love as far as I can see

Is all I'm ever gonna need

There's one thing I know for sure

It's true

I'd go anywhere for you

Backstreet boys ~ Anywhere for you

**__**

"I will be returning to you" Estel stated, whilst he tried to stop the tears that were threatening to fall down his cheeks.

****

"And I will be here…waiting for you" she responded, not attempting to stop herself from weeping.

"I owe my life to you Arwen. You saved me from myself and from the hopelessness and depression that I let myself fall in to. If you had not come in to my life I may have never gotten over Legolas' death. I owe my happiness and my life to you and your love" the man proclaimed.

"You owe me nothing. Loving you was not a chore I did when I really would have rather been doing something else. Loving you was something I was and still am lucky to be able to do. You are a blessing that was sent to me so that I could learn the true meaning of adoration and devotion" Undomiel exclaimed as she cupped her beloved's face in her hands.

"Halbarad is waiting for you" Elrond said as he came across them. He hated to interrupt them but he could not keep his guests waiting. Gandalf had decided to ride with them until he would make his way to Isengard to see his friend and fellow wizard Saruman.

They both turned to look at the elven lord who seemed rather uncomfortable.

"Right, I will go meet him now" the dunadan replied as he started walking towards the gates of Rivendell where he knew his mentor would be hanging around.

Arwen and her father moved slightly slower behind him as they too made for the same place.

When all three of them got there they saw Elladan and Elrohir along with Glorfindel waiting so they could wish the man farewell.

He quickly hugged the elves that he grew up knowing as his brothers and he even embraced the blonde elf lord who was standing beside Elrohir. Glorfindel chuckled a bit at this but he still patted the youth on the back. After that, he walked over to his foster father and he wrapped his arms around him as if he would never see him again.

He then walked over to the weeping evenstar. He put his palm to her cheek and pulled her into him in a loving kiss. After they parted he whispered something in her ear "I'll love you with every beat of my heart, I swear."

He mounted his horse that was in between his two fellow travelers. Aragorn took one look, the last look he would have in two years, at the ones he thought of as his family. The people who raised him when both his parents had perished. The people that would always be in his thoughts. And the one person that he knew he would love until he took his final breath.

As he, Gandalf and Halbarad started riding, he murmured something in the wind. 

"I will be returning to you."

**__**

The end!!

I hope you liked it and I hope the ending was good enough. Please let me know what you think. Thanks so much!

~*Judy Greenleaf*~


	41. author's note

**__**

~*Author's Notes*~

I hope all of you enjoyed this story. It might be a while before I start posting my next story so I will be looking forward to reviews once again. If you liked How Can I survive I would really like to know and if you didn't tell me what bothered you so I can improve my next tale. Thanks, all my love.

~*Judy Greenleaf*~ 

****


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